We have to agree with Kermit. It's not easy being green.
The greenies would have you believe that they are superior in both mind and spirit. But based on these ideas to save the planet, maybe they should just concentrate on being superior of spirit.
10. Stay married. For better or worse.
Australian Senator Steve Fielding told a Senate hearing that divorce leads to a “resource-inefficient lifestyle” and that the planet would benefit if couples stayed married. Maybe that’s why the Clintons are still together.
9. Share a room with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
According to an article in the Irish Times, “Ireland’s Catholic bishops … said the public should adopt a simpler lifestyle to help the planet.” Hey, wait just a darn sec. Doesn’t that contradict #10?
8. Sock it to global warming
During an interview on the BBC, sculptor Antony Gormley said, “Dispense with your socks … this is a time of global warming. Through our feet we can begin to feel it.” Walk a mile in Al Gore’s shoes.
7. Fido Stroganoff
Brenda and Robert Vale, a couple of whacked out New Zealand professors, suggest that you should swap your cats and dogs for pets you can eat. Chickens, for example. Or rabbits. You can find their outstanding advice is in their new book calledTime to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living. If we were smart, we’d get ahead of the trend and do a cookbook.
6. A new kind of green movement
An Iowa company called Wallypop introduced reusable cloth toilet wipes. We predict that their main competitor will be Sheryl Crow fans who believe in using just one square per…uhhh…session.
5. The sky’s the limit
According to the Daily Mail UK, “A Japanese airline has started asking passengers to go to the toilet before boarding in a bid to reduce carbon emissions. All Nippon Airways claims that empty bladders mean lighter passengers, a lighter aircraft and thus lower fuel use.” In other words, take a pee before you take off.
4. Rent your clothes. Seriously.
The geniuses at Britain’s Waste & Resources Action Program have come out against closets full of rarely worn clothes. It’s environmentally unacceptable, you should start renting your clothes instead of buying them. Yeah, but what happens if you don’t return your rented clothes. Do you get an eviction notice?
3. Kill Bill. And everyone else.
A group of Sydney academics published a paper that said, “This paper sets out, as a thought experiment, the possibility of humanity’s willing extinction as a solution to a growing ecological problem.” Please, be our guest Mr. Gore.
2. Better living through better batter
Brits Simon and Damiana Hare reveal that they’ll go through Britain’s predicted bitterly cold winter without heating their cottage. But if it gets too cold for their infant daughter, they say, “We can heat the house by making a second batch of pancakes.” Mmmmm. Ecological and delicious!
1. Greenpiece
According to an ITN News report, “A Berlin brothel is fighting climate change and the recession by offering a discount to those clients who arrive by bicycle.” Women who are used to peddling their asses are now pedaling them.
Source: Andrew Bolt
Learn to use the space bar. Seriously. Aside from that your mind, while warped, seems to at least process information. You should be able to find some work and then be able to buy a cell phone for your ‘emergencyR 17; needs. If you have enough time to type...
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Hilarious!
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You know what….I am so sick of this AGW bullshit, I can’t even read the fcuking jokes without getting pissed off. Knock it the frig off already.
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You’re too late in the #7 category…”50 Ways to Wok Your Dog” has been a best seller in Shanghai for like, forever!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist the lame joke….;D
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Staying married is not a bad thing unless there is SERIOUS infidelity and of course violence.
Staying single is also not a bad thing if one is already single and has the discipline not to go around acting like a ho (and thus the possibility of spreading diseases) etc.
Having a more simple lifestyle never hurt anyone. This stuff is pretty commonsense. I truly dont need an organization to tell me something that I either know through church/community or my own experiences in life.
The whole pet thing is ridiculous.
reusable toilet towels…? ewww. If it works for them okay fine but I got to say that is not going to work out. What is next use tree leaves?
I go to the bathroom before boarding a plane to avoid using the ever small and sometimes gross airplane bathroom. Considering all the metal and the equipment and baggage a plane has passengers lighten up before boarding is not going to solve anything.
Renting your clothes? Really?
Who here sees a future where murderers take the “I did it to save the Planet” defense? It is extremely irresponsible to spread that around. There are a lot of people out there who would contemplate suicide and take people along with them too. It is inexcusable.
Putting children through unnecessary needs to be true to a belief is to me irresponsible parenting and the last one… well whatever.
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#3 is the most honest solution from the ultra environmentalists.
The left constantly talks about lowering the carbon-footprint by doing
little pittly ass things like using a sheet less of toilet each time, when you could massively reduce the worldwide carbon-footprint with less people.
So why are left wing groups encouraging us to feed the third world poor and pay for their medicine when if the left let millions of them die they could then say they have done something great environmentally.
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Because they love hypocrisy. It’s their bread ‘n’ butter. It’s like spewing tons of waste into the air to fly around the world and preach to people not to spew tons of waste into the air, or wasting millions of dollars and untold resources to fly out and make a speech in front of some solar panels that could have just as easily been delivered from the White House at practically no cost! They love that kinda stuff. But don’t point it out when they do it! Ssshh! That makes them angry.
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7. – When they all stop using electricity, heating, gas, etc. pet-loving people will consider stop having pets. Not any sooner.
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Staying married is a damned good idea for society and civilization in general. Unfortunately, it takes two mature people. I’ve seen nearly every marriage around me fall apart, and it was always due to one person or both behaving in an asinine, childish, afraid-to-grow-up, hedonistic manner. Every time. Every stinking time.
And the kicker is that they always divorce with earnest, straight faces and the idiotic notion that they’re doing the smart, responsible thing.
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There are all these dumb-ass ideas (fewer squares of toilet paper, etc) and yet Al Gore and his carbon swap scheme is helping to kill old growth forests
Read here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/opinion/20heinrich.html
Typical “Let’s feel good about what we’re doing” ideas, that are harmful in reality.
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Here is a list of what AGW is supposedly responsible for:
Excessive heat, Excessive cold, Droughts, Floods, Warm winters, Cold winters, Hot summers,Cold summers, Autumns with great foliage colors, Autumns lacking foliage colors, Lack of snow, Abundance of snow and it could go on…
Wow that is everything there is! When a list that foolish blames every extreme as the result of AGW one might as well go the extra mile and blame all those above listed occurrences as being caused by ghosts. Angry, angry ghosts. Ghosts make all of that list happen.
Now watch me solve AGW and save the planet:
Change the term ‘global warming’ to ‘weather’ and there you have it.
That is all it is- changes and flows of weather, small cycles, seasons and long term hot and cool exchange cycles. The Earth is not so wimpy that your SUV can hurt it, nor can an airplane nor a factory. Cosmic radiation hitting it, floods, earthquakes, typhoons, forest fires, volcanoes, tsunamis etc rock the planet all the time. It takes those all in stride and keeps spinning in the harsh void of space at violent speeds all with a molten core.
Don’t call it AGW- call it weather! No one needs to save planet earth from weather after all. Weather is just a part of planet earth…
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