July 2009

Who among us wouldn’t? There. We said it. And you know were thinking the same thing. Now click on the link and read the article. Then let’s have a moment of silence for our hero – Mike, the fatally-sated sea lion.

Source: SayWhat via ConservativeGrapevine.com

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Kim Jong-Il, dictator of North Korea and master of diplomatic insults

Kim Jong-Il, dictator of North Korea and master of diplomatic insults

On Wednesday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a speech in which she made some very harsh comments about the North Korean government. On Thursday, the North Korean Foreign Ministry responded by issuing a statement about Clinton. It demonstrated a wisdom rarely seen in diplomatic circles.

“We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community. Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”

We are now reassessing our previous harsh criticism of the Pyongyang government.

Source: WashingtonPost.com

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Obama-nine-dollar-bill

Based on last Wednesday night’s press conference, it’s clear President Obama has absolutely no concept of how capitalism works.

“Having a public plan out there that also shows that maybe if you take some of the profit motive out, maybe if you are reducing some of the administrative costs, that you can get an even better deal, that’s going to incentivize the private sector to do even better.”

The private sector will be incentivized if you take some of the profit motive out?

2012 cannot arrive soon enough.

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Poor Don Lemon. The CNN talking head was terribly disappointed a few weeks ago when he learned (on the air) that Obama’s warm greeting in Africa was no warmer than the one received by President Bush.

Now he must be equally disappointed to learn that black cops in Cambridge support white cop James Crowley instead of America’s First Black President.

Imagine that. They’re judging Crowley by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.

Source: VerumSerum

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1500 articles and counting

by editor on July 28, 2009

Barack Obama congratulates IHateTheMedia.com. Come on Mr. President, where\'s that other thumb?

Barack Obama congratulates IHateTheMedia.com. Come on Mr. President, where's that other thumb?

Allow us to bask in a self-congratulatory moment of bliss and exhaustion. As we were publishing articles this morning, we realized that Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate discovered at Honolulu garage sale was post number 1500. Whew. We can’t believe it. Hell, if we would have known we’d be writing this much we may never had begun this crazy site seven months ago.

But we’re glad we did. And we’ve been lucky to have seen so such success so quickly. Without boring you with all the technical achievements the site has enjoyed, we do wish to express our heartfelt thanks for your patronage. Many thousands to tens of thousands of readers are now stopping by each day, and our Twitter influence (@ihatethemedia) has grown to where we are now the 79th Most Interesting (of 7361) in the Top Conservatives on Twitter (TCOT).

Embarking now on the second half of our first year, we’d like to open up the pages to more of you who would like to write. You can read this page for more information. You already know the mission: quick, funny observations on the day’s news. We want commentaries and analysis that make the mundane interesting, that make the boring amusing, and that look at the world of liberal media bias through a conservative lens.

We’d also like to expand into more “caught on tape” videos and audio. If you’ve got a mobile device with a videocamera or audio recorder, and some guts, well, go get ‘em. Infiltrate Obamanut meetings, corner a politician on the street and ask him a pointed question, interview leftist protesters and allow them to show off their brilliance. Have some fun and adventure with it. If you’ve got something good, we’ll put it on the IHateTheMedia Youtube channel, and play it here on the site as well. You’ll be a famous citizen reporter in no time.

So if you’d like to help, see our Write for Us page; send us a note about anything through our contact form, and give us your feedback in the comments of this article. And if you are a seething humorless liberal reading this, please go to our Hate Mail page; we made it just for you.

Again, thanks for your support and friendship. We look forward to the next 1500 articles. Hopefully some of them will be yours.

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ugly democrat women

The party that traditionally clings to power based on the votes of unattractive women is risking it all by proposing a tax on plastic surgery. Now that they’ve taxed everything else, they want to tax ugliness.

The Senate Finance Committee wants to tack a 10% excise tax on ”unnecessary” cosmetic surgery. Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus said it was one of the “interesting,” “creative,” and “kind of fun” ideas that had been discussed.

(Please continue with this story after pausing briefly to consider the fact that Democrats think taxes are “kind of fun.”)

The tax would target itemized deductions for medical expenses not covered by health insurance. According to current law, cosmetic surgery defined as “any procedure which is directed at improving the patient’s appearance and does not meaningfully promote the proper function of the body or prevent or treat illness or disease.”

Deductions for procedures such as lasik eye surgery or reconstructive surgery would still be legit. But elective procedures like nose jobs, liposuction, teeth-whitening and Botox injections would be slapped with the new tax.

Let’s call this proposal what it is: the Ugly American Revenue Enhancement Act of 2009.

Source: NationalJournal.com

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obama victory January 22, 2009
Obama to GOP, “I won.”
Source: Wall Street Journal

July 23, 2009
Obama: ‘Victory’ Not Necessarily Goal in Afghanistan
Source: FoxNews.com

What a difference six months make. Call us crazy, but we’d prefer to have our president go Vince Lombardi on our enemies rather than on other Americans.

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It is now official: Barack Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, United States.

His original birth certificate recently was recently discovered and purchased for 25¢ at a garage sale held in the front yard of the apartment building across the street from Honolulu’s Punahou School where Obama lived with his grandparents. It’s like when you watch Antique Roadshow and hear one of those stories about someone finding a Picasso in his aunt’s attic.

The current residents of the apartment found the official birth certificate behind the refrigerator, where it has obviously been been sitting lost all those years since Obama’s family lived in the apartment.

We sincerely hope this puts an end to those crazy, groundless birther conspiracy theories.

obama-birth-certificate

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CFLs are an environmental blessing. Except for that nasty mercury poisoning thing.

CFLs are an environmental blessing. Except for that nasty mercury poisoning thing.

Beginning in 2012, the government will take away another one of your choices. You’ll be compelled to buy energy-efficient light bulbs in order to reduce your personal carbon footprint in order to help environmental wackos sleep better at night.

Unfortunately, the mania for environmentally-safe lighting is killing people in China.

Hundreds of Chinese factory workers who manufacture CFLs for export have been poisoned and hospitalized because of mercury exposure. For example, at the Nanhai Feiyang lighting factory in Foshan city, 68 out of 72 workers required hospitalization. Tests found that 121 out of 123 workers at a Jinzhou factory had excessive mercury levels. American and European demand for the bulbs has also necessitated the reopening of dangerous mecury mines, heightening the risk for mine workers.

Here’s how the Times UK tells the story:

Doctors, regulators, lawyers and courts in China – which supplies two thirds of the compact fluorescent bulbs sold in Britain – are increasingly alert to the potential impacts on public health of an industry that promotes itself as a friend of the earth but depends on highly toxic mercury.

Making the bulbs requires workers to handle mercury in either solid or liquid form because a small amount of the metal is put into each bulb to start the chemical reaction that creates light.

Mercury is recognised as a health hazard by authorities worldwide because its accumulation in the body can damage the nervous system, lungs and kidneys, posing a particular threat to babies in the womb and young children.

Turn out the lights and say good night to a Chinese miner.

SIDE NOTE: This is the 600th official environmental calamity caused by global warming.

Source: Times UK

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"I swear the economy's getting better. Much better. Really better. Super better."

"I swear the economy's getting better. Much better. Really better. Super better."

Hope like hell Joe Biden doesn’t come to your town to tell you how effective the “stimulus” has been.

On July 9, Joe Biden traveled to Ohio to tell the yokels how effective the “stimulus” had been. “Roads plus teachers plus cops plus jobs equals a community,” he said, “and that equals paychecks and prosperity.” Eight days later, it was announced that the state’s unemployment rate had increased from 10.8% to 11.1%.

On July 16, Biden visited Richmond, Virginia to deliver the same message of hope and change. The next day, the Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed that Virginia shed 22,800 in June and that the state’s unemployment rate had jumped to 7.2%.

In the words of Aussie blogger Andrew Bolt, “It’s like the Gore Effect, only for unemployment.”

Source: National Review via Andrew Bolt

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Dana Carvey has never been funnier than he was on a couple Wednesday night’s ago’s Tonight Show.

You can’t help but laugh as he does rapid-fire, dead-on, hysterically-funny impressions of everyone and their brother. Johnny Carson. Jay Leno. Sonia Sotomayor. Conan O’Brien. Dos Equis. Arnold Schwarzenegger. al Qaeda. Obama. The economy. George Bush. Bruno. Al Franken. Al Gore.

Conan O’Brien gets out of the way and let’s Carvey go.

Enjoy.

Source: HuffingtonPost.com

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Cold cash cures global warming. Cool.

by editor on July 27, 2009

global warming spending world is cooling

Every time we hear some huckster bemoan the big bucks Exxon-Mobil pays to fund studies that debunk global warming, we wonder how much the government is spending to “bunk” the theory.

Finally, thanks to Aussie blogger Joanne Nova, all the numbers have been compiled in one handy, dandy report. It clearly demonstrates that Exxon’s dollars pale in comparison to what’s being spent by the American government’s global warming research machine.

Be prepared to be pissed off.

  • The US government has provided over $79 billion since 1989 on policies related to climate change, including science and technology research, foreign aid, and tax breaks.
  • Despite the billions: “audits” of the science are left to unpaid volunteers…
  • Carbon trading worldwide reached $126 billion in 2008. Banks are calling for more carbon-trading. And experts are predicting the carbon market will reach $2 – $10 trillion making carbon the largest single commodity traded.
  • Meanwhile in a distracting sideshow, Exxon-Mobil Corp is repeatedly attacked for paying a grand total of $23 million to skeptics—less than a thousandth of what the US government has put in, and less than one five-thousandth of the value of carbon trading in just the single year of 2008.

These charts clearly demonstrate an inverse relationship between money spent on global warming research and temperature. The more we spend, the lower temperatures go.

Liberals, of course, will undoubtedly consider this validation that their philosophy works.

Source: JoanneNova.com.au via Andrew Bolt

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So what if President Obama has so many racist, socialist, communist and marxist friends. Just grab a beer. Be happy. It’s cool bro.

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CNN wonders if Obama is overexposed

by editor on July 27, 2009

Is the Pope Catholic? Does Reverend Wright hate America? Is Joe Biden a dope? Does a bear do what a bear generally does in the woods?

Panic is setting in as CNN’s poster boy plummets in the polls. So they ask one of those questions that has an obvious answer: Is Obama over-exposed?

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hurricane-seasosn-2

Same ol’, same ol’. No tropical depressions, no tropical storms, no hurricanes.

In the record-setting year of 2005, we had already had seven storms by this date. In the remarkably quiet year of 2006, we’d had two. In the average year of 2007, we’d had two. And in the average year of 2008, we’d had four.

The more bored you get with this repetitive report, the more panic stricken Al Gore gets.

Yawn. Wake us up when there’s a hurricane in 2009.

Source: National Hurricane Center

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Brian Williams remembering Walter Cronkite's sweet, warm breath

Brian Williams remembering Walter Cronkite's sweet, warm breath

If you think South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s love letters to his Argentine mistress were over the top, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet.

NBC News anchor Brian Williams apparently had a longtime unrequited man crush on former CBS News anchor Walter Cronkite.

Williams begins this tale of the forbidden love between anchors for two competing networks by taking us back to his childhood home in upstate New York, where Mom Williams refused to serve up a hearty meal of Tater Tots and Tang until Cronkite had uttered the words, “And that’s the way it is….”

“And I announced my intention to my family, apparently, at the age of 8, that he was the man I wanted to be. And this was the profession I wanted,” Williams recalled wistfully. “And I have lived such a charmed life that I got the chance to explain that to Walter and tell him that and make it clear. And just was able to breathe the air he exhaled and know him a little bit, as friends.”

Excuse us for interrupting this touching moment, but we can’t help but picture the strange scene that would have played out between young Brian and the venerable Cronkite:

Walter:   Hello, kid.
Brian:     You had me when you said hello, Mr. Cronkite.
Walter:   Can somebody get this kid out of the studio?
Brian:     But I love you, Mr. Cronkite.
Walter:   Anybody know who this kid is?
Brian:     I’m you. And you’re everything I ever want to be.
Walter:   Seriously. Get this little freak out of the studio.
Brian:     I want to breath the air you exhale.
Walter:   So that’s the way it is.
Brian:     No, Mr. Cronkite. That’s the way it was. Today, July 22, 1967.

H/T: NewsBusters.org

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America's most trusted newscaster isn't a newscaster

America's most trusted newscaster isn't a newscaster

Time Magazine conducted a poll. “Now that Walter Cronkite has passed away,” they asked, “who is America’s most trusted newscaster?” The results will undoubtedly depress the broadcast networks’ anchors:

  7%   Katie Couric
19%   Charlie Gibson
29%   Brian Williams
44%   Jon Stewart

For god’s sake, man, even Jon Stewart wouldn’t call himself a “newscaster.” He’s a comedian, damn it. Based on that, the poll is flawed for not including Carrot Top and Andy Dick.

Katie Couric must have been suicidal after learning that 6 times as many Americans trust a comedian with the news than trust her.

Time provides a dandy little map across which you can scroll your cursor to see state-by-state results of the poll.

Hang in there, Katie. You got 65% of the vote in Iowa.

Source: Time Magazine

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charlie-rangel-huge-black-blob-caribbean

Scientists say the huge black blob lying off the coast of Alaska has now been identified as common algae. Political scientists say the huge black blob lying in the Caribbean is an even lower form of life, Democrat Congressman Charles Rangel.

Source: Anchorage Daily News

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Odd, isn't it, that the sorriest president in a generation can't bring himself to say, "I'm sorry"

Odd, isn't it, that the sorriest president in a generation can't bring himself to say, "I'm sorry"

President Barack Obama, peacemaker and grand uniter for those he chooses to unite, seems to have trouble with saying, “I’m sorry.”

Oh, sure, he’ll say he’s sorry to France and Germany and Egypt and Iran for everything from trying to wage an overseas contingency to coup attempts in the 1950s. But, when it comes to saying sorry to a white American cop, well, the once eloquent tongue of the One gets all tied up and vague.

But that’s OK, because liberal media outlets like MSNBC won’t hold him to it. They think he has nothing for which to apologize and the President obviously agrees, because he managed to come up with ten says to say “I’m sorry” without actually employing the words “I’m sorry.”

  1. I could’ve recalibrated those words differently.
  2. Let’s have a beer.
  3. I used unfortunate words.
  4. I helped contribute to the ratcheting up.
  5. Let’s not pump up the volume.
  6. I want to make clear that in my choice of words, I think I unfortunately gave an impression that I was maligning the Cambridge Police Department and Sgt. Crowley specifically.
  7. This is a teachable moment.
  8. I made a poor choice of words.
  9. Let’s concentrate on the business at hand.
  10. And, of course, if the president can’t say he’s sorry, he can always have his press secretary recalibrate for him: “If the president doesn’t want to characterize it in a conversation that he hates having with you all, I’m not going to get ahead of him.”

With each passing day, more Americans want to recalibrate their votes for Obama.

Source: MSNBC.com

Written by Sven Waring of DotPenn.com

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Ahhhh, the love affair is over. The love that once burned with such red hot passion has cooled and the poll numbers are now plunging down, down, down. Johnny Cash explains the results of the latest Rasmussen poll:

Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring,
Bound by wild desire,
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire,
The ring of fire

And now here’s how Rasmussen explains what has happened to The Greatest President In History in more traditional terms:

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Sunday shows that only 29% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Forty percent (40%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -11. That’s the first time his ratings have reached double digits in negative territory
.
These updates are based upon nightly telephone interviews and reported on a three-day rolling average basis. Today is the first update based entirely upon interviews conducted after the President’s prime time televised press conference. The number who Strongly Approve of the President has remained unchanged since the press conference but the number who Strongly Disapprove has gone up by five percentage points (from 35% on Wednesday morning to 40% today).

The Presidential Approval Index is calculated by subtracting the number who Strongly Disapprove from the number who Strongly Approve.

He’s going down, down, down and the flames go higher.

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During Watergate, the question was, “What did the President know and when did he know it” During GatesGate, the question is, “What didn’t the President know and when didn’t he know it?”

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We pause now to pay our respects to the dearly departed favorite theory of global warming guru Al Gore.

Historic winter storm in South America

New York Times – we could be entering an “extended chilly period”

Record low temperatures in 26 states

India ‘rejects key scientific findings on global warming’ — vows not to cut emissions

NYC on track for 2nd coolest July on record

 

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presidential-approval-index

The evil right wing Rasmussen poll continues to lie by saying that disenchantment with The Greatest President In History is growing. What’s that? Rasmussen was the most accurate poll in the last presidential election? More lies from lying, scum-sucking conservatives.

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Saturday shows that 30% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Thirty-nine percent (39%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -9.

The number who Strongly Disapprove of the President has increased slightly following the prime time press conference on Wednesday night. That figure—39%–is now at the highest level yet recorded. As a result, the overall Approval Index has fallen to the lowest level yet recorded for this President.

This guy is going down faster than Perez Hilton in a bath house.

Source: RasmussenReports.com

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The chip on Professor Henry Louis Gates' shoulder was booked separately

The chip on Professor Henry Louis Gates' shoulder was booked separately

Charges for resisting arrest against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates have been dropped, but he still may need to have a giant, malignant chip on his shoulder removed.

When Gates was asked for identification during an investigation of a possible break-in, he responded, “Why? Because I’m a black man in America?”

Which, of course, is the typical reaction from anyone who has had an encounter with the police. (For example, if stopped for a malfunctioning headlight on your car, simply respond to the officer’s request for your drivers license by saying, “Why? Because I’m a black man in America?” It’s guaranteed to work like a charm.)

Barack Obama, who received enough support from whites to be elected President of the United States, did take time to pronounce–without knowing the facts–that the Cambridge police, “acted stupidly.” You know, kind of like acting without first knowing the facts.

According to Obama, the only time police don’t act stupidly are when they are shot in the line of duty. In that case, police are brave and serve as a reminder why guns must be banned.

Obama added that the massive chip on Gates’ shoulder was a pre-existing condition. Under the terms of his government-subsidized health plan, an operation to remove the chip would be covered.

However, the wait for the operation would make the 350 years of oppression seem short.

Written by Sven Waring of DotPenn.com

Note: Henry Gates Cambridge police report

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It appears that the Democrats are planning ahead for the day when every man, woman and child in the United States is on welfare and they’re forced to broaden the safety net to include other critters.

They’ve introduced a bill called the “Restore Our American Mustangs Act” (H.R.1018) that would create a brand spankin’ new $700 million entitlement program for wild horses.

If passed, the ROAM Act will “invest” your 700 million taxpayer dollars by:

• Conducting a wild horse census every two years (ACORN will immediately form a new subsidiary called OATS to oversee the count)

• Providing “enhanced contraception” and birth control for the wild mustangs (We didn’t know that wild horses practiced contraception in the first place so we’re a bit baffled as to what “enhanced” contraception might be. Perhaps we’ll be supplying the mares with morning after pills and guaranteeing their right to choose)

• Supplying $5 million to repair the damage the horses inflict upon the land (If you were a landlord and the horses were tenants, you’d evict them)

• Designating an additional 19 million acres of public and private land as wild horse habitat (If we understand this correctly, they damage the land so we’re going to supply them with 19 million more acres to damage)

• Mandating that government bureaucrats conduct home inspections before Americans can adopt the wild mustangs (At long last Madonna and Angelina will be able to stop adopting African horses)

The Mr. Ed theme song says, “A horse is a horse, of course, of course.”

The corollary is that “A horse’s ass is a horse’s ass, and we hope this will never pass.”

Source: HotAir.com

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