Hmmm. Al Gore’s new global warming poem sounds suspiciously like the worst song ever written

December 11, 2009 · 8 comments

Of course, we realize that “worst song ever written” is subjective. But almost every “worst song” list ever compiled contains America’s “A Horse With No Name” because of its insipid, meaningless lyrics.

And that brings us to Al Gore’s brilliant new poem, Our Choice, which bears a striking resemblence to “A Horse.” Same themes, same images, same style. Which, of course, is completely understandable since Al Gore bears a striking resemblance to the rear end of a horse.

Nevertheless, Gore’s acolytes at Vanity Fair raved about the poem:

“The result is a surprisingly accomplished, nuanced piece of writing. The images Gore conjures in his (untitled) poem turn a neat trick: they are visually specific and emotionally arresting even as they are scientifically accurate.”

Decide for yourself. Listen to “A Horse With No Name” while you read the poem. Six of one, half dozen of another.

“Our Choice”


One thin September soon 

A floating continent disappears 

In midnight sun

Vapors rise as 

Fever settles on an acid sea

Neptune’s bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain 

Ice fathers floods for a season 

A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched 

Kindling is placed in the forest 

For the lightning’s celebration

Unknown creatures 

Take their leave, unmourned 

Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends

The bell of the city 

On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries 

The hour of choosing has arrived 

Here are your tools

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

OK, we lifted the la-la part at the end from “A Horse With No Name.” But only because it seemed to fit.

Source: Vanity Fair



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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Boal December 11, 2009 at 1:21 am

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You guys are going to have to help me out here. I’m not grasping this one. I tried over and over again and I can’t see the relationship between the song and the poem. Maybe it’s just me…

Trust me, I want this to work. I’d love for Al Gore to tag “plagiarist” or “thief” to his long list of other titles (fraud, hypocrite, etc).

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2 danybhoy December 11, 2009 at 5:21 am

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I’ll make this easy for everybody. Al Gore is a total fraud, I would’nt trust anything he says. Here’s an example, if he said that he was once the Vice President, I would look it up to make sure. This man is maybe 1 of the biggest effing liars in modern history. Gore sickens me, & when he flames out, I will party very hard.

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3 Johnboy December 11, 2009 at 10:28 am

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Personally, I really like the song, having seen it the first time as performed on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. I think comparing that song to OwlGore’s poem is an insult to America (the group.)

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4 Dave December 16, 2009 at 4:19 am

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The Bloviating Shepherd Of Lies

On the thin edge of insanity
All logic disappears
As forked mouth starts to spew

A verbal stench arises
From air-conditioned palatial Tennessee mansion
Where he and Neptune soak in hottubs

Bullshit stacked like mountains
Hopeless naiveté floods the seasons
Hard facts dissolve quickly

Then science is politicized
Payoffs placed in bank accounts
For Elitist’s future celebrations

Stark reality
Takes it’s leave
Enforcers ready their whips and chains
Nonsense seeks useful idiots as friends

The hell of audacious empowerment
From a steaming hill of dung has begun
The shepherd of all chicken little cries
The hour to hide the data, trick, or treat, has arrived,

Because …
There is no controlling legal authority.

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5 Editor December 16, 2009 at 5:20 am

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We are proud to be the first to nominate Dave for a Nobel Prize for Literature.

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6 Thallus December 16, 2009 at 9:55 am

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I second the motion

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7 Flu-Bird February 3, 2010 at 11:49 pm

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AL AND BILL WENT UP THE HILL,AND FETCHED A PAIL OF MONEY,THE HILL ALL BROWN CAME CRASHING DOWN,AND IT WAS NO LONGER FUNNY

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8 Skybird March 2, 2010 at 2:35 pm

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ALBERT GORE ALL HOT AIR AND LIES,KISSED MISS LIBERTY AND MADE HER SHY,WHEN THE TRUTH CAME OUT TO PLAY,ALBERT GORE HE RUNS AWAY

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