Bonfire of the Absurdities

NATO: Satellite photos show Russia mobilizing on Ukraine border. Is Putin showing more weakness or is he just trying to protect the Ukraine desert tortoises?

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One-Trick Pony. “All 134 times Harry Reid has mentioned the Koch Brothers on the Senate Floor.” Not a pony, just the rear half of one.

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Rep. Frank Wolf to withhold funds from lawless Eric Holder. “When our FY 2015 bill is marked up this spring, I intend to withhold $1 million for every overdue report from the FY 2013 and FY 2014 bills.” Expect the Dept of “Justice” to hold an assault weapon fire sale (excuse our double entendre) in Mexico soon.

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UK Minister: Fight Climate Change by reducing “smelly emissions” from baked beans. Pardon us, old chap, but most of those “smelly emissions” emanate from politicians and other fools with a preponderance of feces in their crania.

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The Red Line and the Rat Line. “Bombshells expose Obama’s fraud in Syria and Benghazi.” Why isn’t this a major story plastered over front pages and being read phonetically by TV talking heads all over the sh*t-stream media? Simple, a Republican isn’t president.

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Emails show Democrat on Oversight Committee was working with Lois Lerner to target True the Vote. “That [Rep. Elijah] Cummings (D-MD) and the IRS sought nearly identical information raises the strong probability of collusion between the government agency and the Democrats on the House Government Oversight and Reform Committee.” Not a smidgen of corruption so finding evidence of any is raaaaaacist.

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Hank Aaron compares Republicans that oppose Obama to KKK. Yeah, and if Obama was a baseball player, it’d be racist to strike him out. So there.

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Eric Holder plays race card. “You look at the way the Attorney General of the United States was treated yesterday by a House Committee. … What Attorney General has ever had to deal with that kind of treatment?” Let’s turn that question around: what other AG has peed on Congress as much as you?

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IRS under fire: Vote for Obama stickers, campaign cheerleading commonplace. “…it was ‘commonplace’ in a Dallas IRS office for employees to have pro-Obama screensavers on their computers, and to have campaign-style buttons and stickers at their office.” Not a smidgen of corruption… Hey, a glob the size of Jupiter ain’t no smidgen.

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North Korean official reportedly executed by flamethrower. Progressive!

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Holder to Louie Gohmert over contempt charge: “You don’t want to go there, buddy!” Holder holds you guys in contempt, no reason you shouldn’t return the favor.

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The spread of “debate is over” syndrome. “On climate and other issues, many in academia, media, government insist their viewpoint is unassailable and won’t tolerate dissent.” Nobody expects the American inquisition… our chief weapons are “SHUT UP”, “YOU’RE FIRED” and “RAAAAAACISM”…

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Time: Hank Aaron would’ve faced more racism today because Twitter. “Aaron got off easy four decades ago, long before social media dominated every facet of our lives.” Time makes one long for the insightfulness and intellectual integrity of Newsweek. Er, make that Mad Magazine.

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Nancy Pelosi suggests Robert Gibbs is being paid to criticize Obamacare. Nancy Pelosi, poster-girl for National Psychological Projection month decade.

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The market for common sense. “…two years before his death, Hugo Chavez tried to repeal the law of supply and demand … Chavez despised the law because he believed it robbed the poor and unjustly profited producers.” The fact that nitwits like Chavez and Obama can be elected and re-elected is proof the market for common sense has nearly vanished.

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“FaithVoters4Hillary” verified Twitter Account has thousands of fake followers. Maybe she’s running for mayor of Potemkin village.

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Eich: if you were waiting for the moment when the Cold Civil War actually begins, this might be it. “…any instrument of social coercion big enough to give you everything you want is an instrument big enough to take away everything that you have.” Including your life. Progressivism’s endgame has arrived.

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40% of Minnesota likely voters think Al Franken deserves reelection. Well, they’ll just have to recount these numbers a few hundred more times until they get the correct answer.

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‘Global warming’ is rubbish says top professor. “…water is a much more powerful greenhouse gas [than CO2] and there is is 20 time more of it in our atmosphere…” “…‘climate change’ is a meaningless term used as a sop by big business to create money.” And scheming politicians, to expand their power. It’s a massive fraud that makes Bernie Madoff look like a 3-card monte dealer.

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Noonan: A catastrophe like no other. “What the bill declared it would do—insure tens of millions of uninsured Americans—it has not done. There are still tens of millions uninsured Americans. On the other hand, it has terrorized millions who did have insurance and lost it, or who still have insurance and may lose it.” Gee, maybe it was a bad idea to vote a stinkburger of a politician into the presidency based on his pants crease.

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It’s a loss in Md: 73K lose insurance; 60K enroll on Exchange. President Stinkburger’s signature “achievement” insures (some of) the uninsured who were insured before he and the Congressclods stuck their dumb statist noses in. Fore!

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Lawmakers deserve per diem, says retiring Dem. “There are too many members living and sleeping in their offices and it’s wrong. They can’t afford to live here and it’s wrong.” Yeah, they’re soooo underpaid, wonder how so many end their careers wealthy

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Venezuela decrees “All properties leased for 20 years will be sold to tenants in 60 days at government-set prices”. As long as they’re following the script of Bananas, how ’bout requiring everyone change their underwear every half hour and declaring all children under 16 years old now to be 16 years old?

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Al Gore is thinking about making a sequel to “An Inconvenient Truth”. They should rename the original “An Inconvenient Truth I – The Phantom Menace” and the sequel can be “An Inconvenient Truth II – Attack of the Clowns.”

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Venezuela tackles food shortage with ID card system. “Government says system will stop people overbuying groceries for resale – but critics say it’s the first step towards rationing.” Well, that’s what happens when a benevolent socialist country doesn’t have any Koch Brothers.

idiot trying to stick his finger up his ass

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