J.P. Travis

Ben Affleck’s ancestors owned slaves and he doesn’t want you to know. So that infamous beer-summit pipsqueak, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., host of PBS’s Finding Your Roots, censored the awkward discovery about Ben’s family out of his show. They should rename the show Finding Your Roots And Covering Them Up.

- by J.P. Travis | 4 comments | Share Link

The photographs Hitler banned. It’s hard to look manly in lederhosen, especially when you’re short, pudgy, and have crazy-eyes.

- by J.P. Travis | 15 comments | Share Link

Who would you want to share a lifeboat with? If “Anybody but a Muslim!” is your answer, you are wise indeed, Grasshopper. During a trip across the Mediterranean this week, Muslims in a group of 105 North African migrants threw 12 Christians overboard.

- by J.P. Travis | 13 comments | Share Link

ESPN sports chick gets suspended for filthy rant at tow-lot. Looks like the cable broadcasting company that spawned Keith Olbermann has produced another classy performer.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Voting machines get “F-minus” for security says computer scientist. The touchscreen voting machines made by Advanced Voting Solutions and used in various states in numerous elections—including the last three presidential elections—were so easy to hack, a high school kid in the parking lot with a laptop could change every vote. The administrative password was “admin” and the wireless password was “ABCDE”.

- by J.P. Travis | 9 comments | Share Link

Liberal whack-a-doodle lands gyrocopter on U.S. Capitol lawn. Doug Hughes was using his right of free expression to advance the cause of ending Americans’ right to free expression. Fortunately for him, in Washington, D.C., extreme abuse of logic is not only acceptable, it’s encouraged.

- by J.P. Travis | 7 comments | Share Link

Al Sharpton threatens hunger strike if Loretta Lynch not confirmed AG. I.e., one more reason for not confirming Loretta Lynch.

- by J.P. Travis | 11 comments | Share Link

Angry judge throws the book at cheating teachers. 20 years for cheating on tests to improve performance bonuses. 7 of the 20 have to be spent in prison. Ouch.

- by J.P. Travis | 23 comments | Share Link

One year later, how’s that Twitter campaign working, Michelle? What’s that you say? Boko Haram wasn’t frightened by tweets? Gee, there’s a surprise.

- by J.P. Travis | 21 comments | Share Link

Okay, NOW we REALLY have it deciphered. Hillary Simpson for president?

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Mixed reaction to Hillary campaign’s new logo. In liberal areas like San Francisco, where one imagines there will be lots of Hillary yard signs, all the ambulances will be driving in circles.

- by J.P. Travis | 19 comments | Share Link

IHTM called it! We said two years ago that CBS would probably promote the guy who told Obama to “go for the throat,” “pulverize,” “declare war on,” and “destroy” the GOP. As of yesterday he’s the new host of Face the Nation.

- by J.P. Travis | 3 comments | Share Link

Embarrassing Freudian slip typo in Hillary’s presidential announcement:

“…she’s fought children and families all her career.”

- by J.P. Travis | 12 comments | Share Link

Game changer in South Carolina shooting. Look at the photo. See the Taser wire? Turns out Walter Scott had wrestled Officer Slager’s Taser away from him, had shot the officer in the chest with it, and when he turned to run away the officer—Taser dart implanted in his chest—had to assume he could be incapacitated at any moment… all of which agrees with Officer Slager’s recorded statement.

- by J.P. Travis | 17 comments | Share Link

Garry Trudeau blames Charlie Hebdo cartoonists for their own death… while accepting lifetime achievement award as cartoonist. We have a new frontrunner for the title of Biggest Liberal Asshole on Planet Earth.

- by J.P. Travis | 12 comments | Share Link

Kim Jong-un was a child prodigy. Teachers in North Korea have been issued a new manual that says the dictator was driving at age 3 and winning yacht races at age 9. Fine, but could he stop the seas from rising and shoot rainbows out of his hand?

- by J.P. Travis | 5 comments | Share Link

Photo the White House propaganda department tweeted yesterday. Go ahead, you can barf now, we understand.

- by J.P. Travis | 21 comments | Share Link

Science journalism: as bad as regular journalism. The Lancet just published a study saying obese people are 30% less likely to develop dementia—the journal Neurology just published a study saying obese people are four times more likely to develop dementia. Sounds like the scientists have dementia.

- by J.P. Travis | 18 comments | Share Link

White House admits lying about the deal with Iran. Just as we all suspected, even crazy duplicitous Iranians are more trustworthy than Obama.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Don’t worry, Al Sharpton has a solution for police shootings. And coincidentally it’s the same thing Obama advocates: federalizing the nation’s police forces. What are the odds?

- by J.P. Travis | 24 comments | Share Link

White House now has a gender neutral restroom. We think it’s fabulous that President Obama finally has a bathroom where he feels comfortable.

- by J.P. Travis | 33 comments | Share Link

Some animals are more equal than others. A University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee TA is offering his students extra credit if they’re bisexual.

- by J.P. Travis | 13 comments | Share Link

Rolling Stone reporter’s OTHER fake rape story. So add this fake rape story to her UVA fake rape story… oh, and her fake story about a prostitute mother. Apparently Sabrina Erdely is more fiction writer than news reporter.

- by J.P. Travis | 18 comments | Share Link

Good news for rest of us. Turkey’s Directorate of Religious Affairs issued a fatwa allowing Muslims to use toilet paper. You do not want to know what they’ve been doing prior to this (i.e., rule number 9).

- by J.P. Travis | 12 comments | Share Link

Lesbian CNN commentator wants her daughter to be gay. Because it’s all about validating Sally Kohn and her lifestyle choice, you see, not her daughter’s happiness.

- by J.P. Travis | 39 comments | Share Link