Why did the salmon cross the road? We don’t know, maybe they wanted to spawn on the other side, but what a surprise to learn they are smart enough to wait for a pickup truck to pass before crossing.
United Nations says Israel is worst violator of human rights. Not North Korea where people are starving in what amounts to a giant prison camp, not Iran where elections are a sham, not Saudi Arabia where women are chattel and bloggers get whipped, not Thailand where people go to prison for criticizing the king, and not Zimbabwe where white people are slaughtered so Mugabe can confiscate their property—nope, not those countries. Israel is the problem.
FBI admits having all registered motorcycle owners on classified gang list. Since there are approximately twelve million registered motorcycles in the U.S., wouldn’t that list be so broad it’s useless? This was a fake website, sorry. When I figure out how to blame this on CO2, I’ll let you know.
“Politically, the administration celebrated negotiating his release after years of failed bids by both the current and former administration…”
Say what? Since Bergdahl didn’t desert until June of 2009, how could the Bush administration have a “failed bid” for his release?
“We’re in a goddamn free fall here!”
Chillax, Ambassador, the president has things well in hand, just ask him.
Obama does sit-down interview with founder of Vice.com. Yep, you betcha, the President of the U.S. of A., who shuns Fox News like it’s a colony of lepers, sat down for a convivial chat about climate change with a guy who filmed himself having sex with a Japanese doll.
“Another question is whether the Army will give Sergeant Bergdahl an honorable discharge if he is found guilty of desertion. For members of the military, an honorable discharge is no small matter, and not getting one can hinder not only a veteran’s job prospects, but the entirety of how a service member looks back on his or her career.”
Cambodia’s prime minister not impressed by Michelle. Welcome to the club, dude. Just keep her away from your lunches and consider yourself lucky.
Nebraska state senator compares American police to ISIS, threatens to shoot a cop. Something tells me there will be a slow response the next time he calls 911.
“Yeah, Car 54, we got a burglary in process about a block from your location but go ahead and finish that cup of coffee. Might as well drink it while it’s hot, right? And have a doughnut while you’re at it.”
Physicists predict “imminent collapse” of universe. That’s the bad news. The good news is, “imminent” for physicists means “a few tens of billions of years” from now—so far in the future IHTM can’t even predict which Clinton will be running against which Bush.
Bowe Bergdahl charged with desertion. Hey, nice trade, Mr. President. Good negotiating. Five top Taliban commanders for a traitor we’ll either execute by firing squad or keep in prison for the rest of his life. No wonder we don’t trust you with the Iran negotiations.
Hillary Clinton receives standing ovation from journalists. After taking no questions—and joking about email scandal—at “Excellence in Journalism” event.
NPR editor shocked—shocked!—that evangelical Christians support Israel. Where do NPR people live, in caves? cut off from all contact with regular Americans?
Austin “EXCLUSIVELY FOR WHITE PEOPLE” stickers placed by Hispanic lawyer. Apparently he was trying to make a political statement about too many white people moving into his neighborhood. So all that commotion from Democrat politicians about racist white people and all those threats to prosecute? Never mind.
Thai government warns women to stop posting “underboob selfies.” Apparently it’s the newest craze in Thailand and the military junta running the country is not amused… although give them credit for keeping abreast of Internet trends and nipping this tasteless habit in the bud.
Mark Steyn: “Everybody in the Middle East despises this president.” With all due respect to Mr. Steyn, we’re pretty sure Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah love President Obama… love him like he’s their BFF.
Rapper Pharrell Williams addresses UN General Assembly on climate change. Because that is the state of Global Warming science, folks. ‘Nuff said.
New hero in the fight against Obama climate activism. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Super Manatee! Turns out the slow-moving sea cows, an endangered species, in order to make it through the winter, need the warm water discharge from one of those nasty coal plants Obama is trying to close.
Winning NCAA Tournament coach trash talks President Obama. Seems the prez, during his annual ESPN appearance to make bracket picks, made a particular point of mentioning that Georgia State wouldn’t win. Here’s Coach Ron Hunter in the locker room after winning:
Hey, Obama, I hope you make better decisions in that presidency than you did about Georgia State!
Fat chance, Coach—that ship has sailed.