ABC rudely asks Phil Robertson, “Would you consider yourself a homophobe?” His answer: “I’m as much of a homophobe as Jesus was.”
What the United Nations doesn’t want you to know. The organization was designed and started by a communist, the person in charge of UN armed forces is always a communist, every single undersecretary-general of political and security council affairs since the UN’s founding has been a communist, and every single secretary-general plus every single assistant secretary-general has been a socialist/communist.
Beige Obama says Don’t Worry Be Happy, the world is a much better place. The president says Americans, confused and discombobulated by social media, simply don’t understand what a great job he’s done. Someone please tell him the stuff he’s smoking now is more powerful than the “ganja” he smoked as a teenager.
California passes creepy new “Dear Leader” education law. AB1912, passed earlier this month by the California Assembly 76-1, is “an opportunity for Obama to take his rightful place in California textbooks,” and will “make sure that future generations understand that the election of our nation’s first African American president was a historic step.”
Has Russia invaded Ukraine or not? It is a sign of the Obama administration’s foreign policy confusion, impotence, and dysfunction that we can’t get a straight answer to such a simple question. 1,000 troops accompanied by tanks is not an invasion, says the president, but merely a “continuation.” Continuation of what?
Here we go: federal judge strikes down ban on polygamy. Remember when people said legalizing gay marriage was a slippery slope? And the Gay Mafia ridiculed the notion? Well, turns out it was a slippery slope with a Slip ‘N Slide deployed on it that leads to the edge of a cliff over the Grand Canyon. Next up: legal marriage between a man and his pet cockatoo – you read it here first.
Ron Paul caught in more skullduggery. This time it’s Iowa Republican Kent Sorenson admitting to the Justice Department he was paid $73,000 under the table by Paul’s 2012 presidential campaign for his endorsement. At the time, it puzzled everyone that Michele Bachmann’s Iowa campaign manager was suddenly endorsing Ron Paul. Now we know why.
Good news! (for real this time) There are now more Christians in China than Communist Party members:
“The number [of Christians] is undoubtedly in excess of a hundred million, far more than the 85 million members of the Communist Party.”
History repeats itself – something similar happened to the Roman Empire.
Obama’s rousing speech brings military vets to their feet. Just kidding. Actually, American Legion listeners sat on their hands, ignoring applause lines, and generally acting like someone was farting in the elevator.
Another classroom “Bless you” dictator. Assistant professor of chemistry Leon Gardner at the College of Coastal Georgia will reduce the final grade of any student who says “Bless you” after someone sneezes… up to 15% if they commit multiple infractions of his prohibition.
Good news! The federal government is creating a database of political posts on Twitter to monitor “false and misleading ideas.” The government monitoring will supposedly “assist in the preservation of open debate,” according to the leftwing Indiana professor setting up the database. Isn’t that comforting?
The Washington Post pledges activist campaign against Global Warming. Because that’s the proper job of a newspaper, right? Choosing one side of a debate and issuing propaganda bulletins to support it?
Another reason food prices are high. Millions of bushels of grain is rotting on the ground in North Dakota because of a shortage of rail cars to ship it to market… and there is a shortage of rail cars because Warren Buffet’s Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway is busy shipping oil… and the railroad is busy shipping oil because Obama refused to approve the Keystone Pipeline.
Now they say there ARE backup copies of Lois Lerner’s emails. WTF? Someone finally remembered they have backup tapes? Meanwhile, Eric Holder’s Justice Department says the backup tape is too hard to search so they won’t be retrieving those missing emails. WTF again!
Egyptian feminist strips naked and drops a turd on ISIS flag. It sure seems like feminists in other countries are more fun than the ones here in the U.S. (First of all, they like to get naked which we find an endearing habit.) And, it sure seems like turds are in the news a lot suddenly.
Unidentified EPA employee pooping in hallways and smearing menstrual blood on walls. It’s been happening for months. So far, geniuses in upper management have had no luck catching the perpetrator but they have managed to deduce it’s a woman.
Vermont bacon ad taken down to placate hyper-sensitive Muslim. She said the sign was “insensitive” to people who don’t consume pork and that, as a Muslim, she was personally offended. Our three-word response: James Foley, bitch.
Antarctic sea ice above average for 1,000 straight days. Liberal mainstream media explaining how this is caused by Global Warming in 3… 2… 1…
Top psychiatrist says transgenderism is a mental disorder and sex change is biologically impossible. Oooo boy, is this guy in trouble! The Political Correctness Enforcement Unit from the Borg Hive will be knocking on his door shortly.
Let me give you a little secret here: the reason that raid into Syria failed to get Foley and those guys was because the president drug his feet. He waited too long, the intel got stale, and by the time we actually gave the “go” word it failed because we just didn’t react quick enough.
14,646 duplicate voters in Virginia county will NOT be purged from rolls. Instead, these Fairfax County voters, who were found to be registered in both Maryland and Virginia, are being flagged as “inactive voters” which will leave them eligible to vote in Virginia until 2019.