J.P. Travis

Why did the salmon cross the road? We don’t know, maybe they wanted to spawn on the other side, but what a surprise to learn they are smart enough to wait for a pickup truck to pass before crossing.

- by J.P. Travis | 6 comments | Share Link

United Nations says Israel is worst violator of human rights. Not North Korea where people are starving in what amounts to a giant prison camp, not Iran where elections are a sham, not Saudi Arabia where women are chattel and bloggers get whipped, not Thailand where people go to prison for criticizing the king, and not Zimbabwe where white people are slaughtered so Mugabe can confiscate their property—nope, not those countries. Israel is the problem.

- by J.P. Travis | 17 comments | Share Link

FBI admits having all registered motorcycle owners on classified gang list. Since there are approximately twelve million registered motorcycles in the U.S., wouldn’t that list be so broad it’s useless? This was a fake website, sorry. When I figure out how to blame this on CO2, I’ll let you know.

- by J.P. Travis | 28 comments | Share Link

The Daily Beast tries to tie Bergdahl to Bush:

“Politically, the administration celebrated negotiating his release after years of failed bids by both the current and former administration…”

Say what? Since Bergdahl didn’t desert until June of 2009, how could the Bush administration have a “failed bid” for his release?

- by J.P. Travis | 23 comments | Share Link

Solar-rational: Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey plans to cut down 18,000 trees so they can build a “green energy” solar farm to power the amusement park.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Middle East according to Obama’s former ambassador to Iraq:

“We’re in a goddamn free fall here!”

Chillax, Ambassador, the president has things well in hand, just ask him.

- by J.P. Travis | 7 comments | Share Link

Obama does sit-down interview with founder of Vice.com. Yep, you betcha, the President of the U.S. of A., who shuns Fox News like it’s a colony of lepers, sat down for a convivial chat about climate change with a guy who filmed himself having sex with a Japanese doll.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link

MSNBC apologizes for insulting country music. This was a wasted apology—we’re pretty sure the number of people who listen to both country music and MSNBC is less than one.

- by J.P. Travis | 22 comments | Share Link

Associated Press not sure Israel is a democracy. We, on the other hand, are not sure the numbnuts at AP are journalists.

- by J.P. Travis | 17 comments | Share Link

New York Times worried about Bergdahl getting a job:

“Another question is whether the Army will give Sergeant Bergdahl an honorable discharge if he is found guilty of desertion. For members of the military, an honorable discharge is no small matter, and not getting one can hinder not only a veteran’s job prospects, but the entirety of how a service member looks back on his or her career.”

- by J.P. Travis | 28 comments | Share Link

Cambodia’s prime minister not impressed by Michelle. Welcome to the club, dude. Just keep her away from your lunches and consider yourself lucky.

- by J.P. Travis | 25 comments | Share Link

Nebraska state senator compares American police to ISIS, threatens to shoot a cop. Something tells me there will be a slow response the next time he calls 911.

“Yeah, Car 54, we got a burglary in process about a block from your location but go ahead and finish that cup of coffee. Might as well drink it while it’s hot, right? And have a doughnut while you’re at it.”

- by J.P. Travis | 27 comments | Share Link

Physicists predict “imminent collapse” of universe. That’s the bad news. The good news is, “imminent” for physicists means “a few tens of billions of years” from now—so far in the future IHTM can’t even predict which Clinton will be running against which Bush.

- by J.P. Travis | 31 comments | Share Link

Bowe Bergdahl charged with desertion. Hey, nice trade, Mr. President. Good negotiating. Five top Taliban commanders for a traitor we’ll either execute by firing squad or keep in prison for the rest of his life. No wonder we don’t trust you with the Iran negotiations.

- by J.P. Travis | 30 comments | Share Link

Speaking of poop… The U.S. Park Service is thinking of hiring dogs to drive off the nasty hordes of defecating Canada geese that foul the National Mall. This is either about hygiene and aesthetics, or about politicians in D.C. resenting the competition.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Hillary Clinton receives standing ovation from journalists. After taking no questions—and joking about email scandal—at “Excellence in Journalism” event.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link

NPR editor shocked—shocked!—that evangelical Christians support Israel. Where do NPR people live, in caves? cut off from all contact with regular Americans?

- by J.P. Travis | 15 comments | Share Link

Self-portraits under the influence of LSD. Clockwise from upper left, 45 minutes after taking LSD, when effects were just starting—to bottom left, nine and a half hours after taking LSD, when the effects were ending.

- by J.P. Travis | 12 comments | Share Link

Austin “EXCLUSIVELY FOR WHITE PEOPLE” stickers placed by Hispanic lawyer. Apparently he was trying to make a political statement about too many white people moving into his neighborhood. So all that commotion from Democrat politicians about racist white people and all those threats to prosecute? Never mind.

- by J.P. Travis | 25 comments | Share Link

Thai government warns women to stop posting “underboob selfies.” Apparently it’s the newest craze in Thailand and the military junta running the country is not amused… although give them credit for keeping abreast of Internet trends and nipping this tasteless habit in the bud.

- by J.P. Travis | 21 comments | Share Link

Mark Steyn: “Everybody in the Middle East despises this president.” With all due respect to Mr. Steyn, we’re pretty sure Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah love President Obama… love him like he’s their BFF.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link

Rapper Pharrell Williams addresses UN General Assembly on climate change. Because that is the state of Global Warming science, folks. ‘Nuff said.

- by J.P. Travis | 17 comments | Share Link

How dysfunctional is California? Attorney General Kamala Harris is currently drafting the title and 100-word summary of a ballot measure proposal that authorizes the killing of gays by “bullets to the head” or “any other convenient method.”

- by J.P. Travis | 17 comments | Share Link

New hero in the fight against Obama climate activism. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Super Manatee! Turns out the slow-moving sea cows, an endangered species, in order to make it through the winter, need the warm water discharge from one of those nasty coal plants Obama is trying to close.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Winning NCAA Tournament coach trash talks President Obama. Seems the prez, during his annual ESPN appearance to make bracket picks, made a particular point of mentioning that Georgia State wouldn’t win. Here’s Coach Ron Hunter in the locker room after winning:

Hey, Obama, I hope you make better decisions in that presidency than you did about Georgia State!

Fat chance, Coach—that ship has sailed.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link