God bless the Joffrey Ballet. Today I flew from Los Angeles to Chicago for a business meeting. The Joffrey Ballet company was on the same flight. Thank you, God, for ballerinas. I have never seen such a remarkable collection of great asses in my life. Yes, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with hating the media, but it has everything to do with loving incredibly tight, shapely derrieres the Arts. And now back to your regular programming.

{ 70 comments… read them below or add one }

JPTravis February 4, 2013 at 8:30 pm

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Wait ’til Mrs. Editor reads this.

editor February 4, 2013 at 8:49 pm

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Mrs. Editor is the best. First thing I did when I landed in Chicago was call her and tell her it was the greatest flight ever. We live in a college town and if we see a hot college girl walking down the street, Mrs Editor turns to me and says, “If you can nail that one I’ll pay for the hotel room.” Of course, she may just say that because she knows those days are long gone.

The Administrator’s daughter graduated from college last June. Mrs Editor and I were over at the Admin’s house one night and his daughter gave me a big hug and hurt me like I’ve never been hurt before. As she was hugging me she said, “You know what? You smell just like my grandfather.”

My life is over.

poppajoe49 February 4, 2013 at 9:07 pm

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Don’t give up just yet, the smell like my grandfather comment isn’t calling you old, it’s telling you that you remind her of someone dear to her.
What Mrs Editor doesn’t realize is that in today’s society, there is a better than even chance that one of those hot co-eds that she offers to pay for the hotel room for you to nail her, has daddy issues, and would do you in a hot minute.

Joe February 5, 2013 at 12:38 am

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Please stay away from the hot co-eds with daddy issues, that’s my turf. It’s my bread and butter. You guys are killing me.

flashingscotsman February 6, 2013 at 5:24 pm

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Mmmmm, co-eds with Daddy issues.

poppajoe49 February 4, 2013 at 9:33 pm

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Hey Mr Editor, one question.
Where did you get this picture from? It sure as hell wasn’t on the Joffrey Ballet website.

Not so silent February 4, 2013 at 10:32 pm

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I hate that artsy stuff, but My lovely bride says I should keep an open mind….that changed somewhat after showing her this picture….

ThatOtherGuy February 4, 2013 at 11:44 pm

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I can’t even get google to find that when I search for ‘Joffery Ballet Daisy Duke Shorts”

Jokes on her, those back pockets won’t hold anything.

poppajoe49 February 5, 2013 at 4:50 am

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Yes they will, my hands will stay there with no problem!

MGAP February 5, 2013 at 6:22 am

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Wrong. The curve of her *** is like a shelf. You could stand a tall boy on that puppy. I imagine a handfull of change in her back pocket would be as secure as a vault.

flashingscotsman February 6, 2013 at 5:27 pm

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Her pockets are holding my eyes quite well.

JPTravis February 5, 2013 at 6:51 am

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I have an even worse story from this past Friday… but it’s so bad I won’t tell it. Plus it’s my birthday this week so I’m sensitive about my age right now.

poppajoe49 February 5, 2013 at 6:58 am

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How old are you?

Joe February 5, 2013 at 2:08 pm

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You get a whole week for your birthday? I only get a lousy day.

CO2Insanity February 5, 2013 at 8:13 pm

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Chicago? Hope you took a bulletproof vest.

editor February 6, 2013 at 3:11 am

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Never left the airport, so I didn’t even take a sweater. I wore a Hawaiian shirt in Chicago in February. There’s a tunnel under the airport that leads directly to the Hilton. I arrived Monday night, walked underground to the Hilton, had my meeting Tuesday morning, walked back underground to the airport and flew to Austin. Oddly enough, the Administrator is also in Austin for a completely unrelated reason. Just like the President and Vice President, the IHTM Editor and Administrator never fly on the same airplane.

sa_rose February 6, 2013 at 12:51 pm

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Good thing. Especially in Austin, the Democratic stronghold of Texas.

JustAl February 4, 2013 at 8:54 pm

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Before the holy rollers and feminists get wound tight, I’ll just say that I agree. If you can’t admire something like that in this world without catching crap there’s something seriously wrong with the world.

PsychoDad February 4, 2013 at 9:07 pm

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Ah yes, nothing like art. Do yourself some real good, and expose yourself to art.

poppajoe49 February 4, 2013 at 9:08 pm

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Or, enjoy art exposing itself to you!

Fenster314 February 4, 2013 at 10:58 pm

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One thing this blog could definitely use is more art. On a daily basis.

Progressive Hemrrhoid February 5, 2013 at 2:55 am

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Why is it when I go on flights I never see anything like that, but usually end up getting an isle seat next to the very fat Mexican national with the 50lb bag of fried chicken?

MGAP February 5, 2013 at 6:23 am

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I think you got your ethnic stereotypes mixed up there Hemi! ;)

Progressive Hemrrhoid February 5, 2013 at 8:36 am

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Nope, afraid not. It was an connecting flight and we waited on the tarmac for 1/2 an hour for the Air Mexico flight to arrive. Every person who borded the plane from the Air Mexico flight was carrying large clear plastic bags full of boxes of fried chicken.
I guess you don’t see much fried chicken in Mexico.

deepthinker February 5, 2013 at 4:08 am

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Here, here. The beauty of a lady does brighten ones day:)

pink Floyd February 5, 2013 at 4:47 am

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I think I’ve seen that picture before…oh, yeah, I remember, it was in Websters dictionary beside the word “PERFECTION”

Mrs. Floyd had one of those and is still damn close a few decades later.

matthew s harrison February 5, 2013 at 6:17 am

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Last time I flew, I got stuck next to Carrie Fisher. Talk about the opposite of your great fortune.. And she not only smelled like my grandmother-she looked like her too. Damn, some guys have all the luck!

MGAP February 5, 2013 at 6:27 am

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Gad! That’s almost worse than getting stuck beside Rachel Madcow…

JPTravis February 5, 2013 at 6:54 am

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I have terrible luck on planes. Once I sat there watching beautiful woman after beautiful woman walk by, rooting for every sngle one of them to be my seatmate, then suddenly in walked Bertha Butt, so wide she could barely navigate the aisle, and I just knew it was fate. When she sat next to me she spilled over the arm rests forcing me to practically crawl out the window.

poppajoe49 February 5, 2013 at 7:03 am

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Most of the time when I fly, I am with my wife. This makes the chance of having a cute young thing like this sit next to me, impossible.
I am tall, have long legs, and need the aisle seat so that I can stretch my legs during the flight. She is shorter and takes the middle seat. Anyone else we sit with gets the window.
We mostly fly Southwest, so not even the flight attendants are attractive, at least in my experience. As the one pilot once said, gays, grannys, and grandes.

editor February 5, 2013 at 7:04 am

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Since we’re trading flying stories here, I have two more that fall on opposite sides of the scale.

Many years ago (long before Mrs Editor) I attended a cousin’s wedding in Kalispell, Montana. Turns out there was a Playboy magazine shoot going on in town and I spent a week prowling the town with my cousin’s buddies in search of the bunnies. Never found them. When I flew home I got seated next to one of the bunnies. Let’s just say we became close. I still have photos of her sitting on my lap in the Salt Lake City airport during a stopover.

ON the other hand, I was on a jam-packed flight to Fiji once and got seated next to a woman whose girth vastly exceeded the width of her seat (in other words, she overlapped into my seat). The only time her baby stopped crying was when she breastfed it. “This must be what hell is like,” I thought to myself. A stewardess felt sorry for me about halfway across the Pacific and moved me to a seat in first class.

poppajoe49 February 5, 2013 at 7:11 am

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DAMN! Even when you get the shit deal, you come out smelling like a rose!
I hate you!! ;-)

JPTravis February 5, 2013 at 7:19 am

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Just how sorry for you did that stewardess feel?

Jim Stewart February 5, 2013 at 7:30 am

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Oh oh, you said stewardess.

JPTravis February 5, 2013 at 7:26 am

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By the way, when I was still a teenager I drove to Florida (from Michigan) with my friend who wanted to meet the father who abandoned him when he was a baby. His father took us to the Playboy Club in Miami where my hormones and devastatingly good looks managed to snag me a DATE with a bunny, a Puerto Rican beauty whose assets defied gravity by somehow staying confined in her garmetry while she served us drinks. I was so proud I could barely stop bragging all night. My friend hated me out of pure jealousy. The next day when the bunny found out our “sailing” date meant I was going to rent a Sunfish, not yachting on a fifty-foot cruiser with shrimp cocktails and martinis, she cancelled the date. Then I had to listen to my friend rub it in all the way back to Michigan.

Not so silent February 5, 2013 at 10:13 am

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Okay I flew to Rochester New York once, the flight out of Chitcago was fine until the pilot decided to turn the plane so people could view Niagara falls, the stewardess happened to be getting me a soda at the time and ended up in my lap..she was a very nice stewardess, however she was seriously pissed at the pilot and I believed used the phrase boy wonder to describe him, after we landed in New York, the pilot and co-pilot stood by the front exit to thanks us for flying united, the pilots uniform didn’t fit well and he looked about 12 years old, the co-pilot was about 80 years old, I see what she meant about “boy wonder”….and the best part even though she fell in my lap, not a drop of the coke she was holding for me spilled…….

JPTravis February 5, 2013 at 7:20 pm

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Speaking of Coke, I was so jammed into my window seat because the fat bastard sitting next to me was spilling into my personal space that my elbow hit the plane when I reached for my brand new Coke and I spilled it into my lap, where the Coke and ice puddled under my ass. The flight just took off, the drink cart was still in the aisle, I couldn’t get out, I couldn’t stand up, I sat in my Coke puddle all the way from D.C. to Reno, Nevada… wondering the whole time if that much exposure to Coke would pickle my manhood for life.

CO2Insanity February 5, 2013 at 7:30 pm

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My wife’s father is very ill. She’s flown to Kansas twice this month. Every time she’s had Fat Bastard next to her. On the last flight back she upgraded so she didn’t get squished.

Karmaa February 8, 2013 at 8:57 am

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Oh Em Gee!! When I saw “Bertha Butt”, it triggered a memory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LQJYgs1sxc I just fell out of my chair!!

Bertha, Betty, Bella, and Bathsheba Butt!!

flashingscotsman February 8, 2013 at 9:33 pm

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They were the Butt sisters.

sa_rose February 6, 2013 at 12:54 pm

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Getting stuck beside Carrie Fischer was a learning moment. Remember how she looked in the gold bikini thing at Jabba’s crib? Take a good look at her now. That is what happens to maybe 75% of women once they are full grown (not lanky teens) and have lived a life, had a few kids, a few drinks and way too much comfort food to deal with their lives.

editor February 6, 2013 at 2:30 pm

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In Fisher’s case, there was a lot more than drinks and comfort food involved. She talks about the drug issues in her autobiography. I have two degrees of separation from her (I won’t get into how because I don’t want to piss off the person who occasionally tells me stories about her). Fisher is now providing a home for Michael Jackson’s bankrupt former dermatologist (with whom I had dinner one night). I don’t really know any of these people nor hang around in their circles, but I have a friend who does.

DefHarryMelon February 6, 2013 at 2:52 pm

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Yeah, she was only 20 when the first one came out, probably 26 or 27 when Return of the Jedi was released. Jabba knew how he liked his slave girls to dress! Jabba, he was a he, right? She was awful cute though! She was brought up to be a jaded and spoiled brat. She became a successful boozer and pill popper. At least she hasn’t croaked it on a pile of coke or heroin… yet.

sa_rose February 7, 2013 at 10:26 am

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Try 18. She was the same age as her Mother was when she debuted in Singing in the Rain.

DefHarryMelon February 7, 2013 at 5:28 pm

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Well, that’s different math than they taught me in 1963. She was born in October 1956 according to our favorite place, wikipedia –
Carrie Frances Fisher (born October 21, 1956) is an American actress, novelist, screenwriter, and performance artist. She is best known for her portrayal of Princess Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_Fisher
And –
The first film in the series was originally released on May 25, 1977, under the title Star Wars, by 20th Century Fox, and became a worldwide pop culture phenomenon, followed by two sequels, released at three-year intervals. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars

You can find this -
At the age of 19, Fisher was offered the role of Princess Leia, even though at 5-foot-1 and 105 pounds she was told she was too fat for the part. She took the role, but, she told Lauer, had she known how big the movie would be, “I would never have done it. All I did when I was really famous was wait for it to end.” –
here – http://www.nbcnews.com/id/28158582/site/todayshow/ns/today-entertainment/t/carrie-fisher-i-wish-id-turned-down-star-wars/#.URRT9PI1N_g

So, not 18.

Alien February 7, 2013 at 8:57 pm

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Too fat? She was adorable in the first movie.. Of course I didn’t appreciate her until junior high, when Slave Leia came on the scene. But I know she was curvy under that princess garb

DefHarryMelon February 7, 2013 at 9:23 pm

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A funny minute of footage worth the time. Did you know that Kari Byron of Mythbusters fame was one of the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi? https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=3WIQigWP-U4

Alien February 7, 2013 at 9:42 pm

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LOL I had no idea.. She is awesome too

DefHarryMelon February 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm

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I find Ms. Byron to have buckets of hotness to spare. Can’t seem to locate any citation on the googly places of her Ewok work, but recall her talking to the guys on Mythbusters about her doing that. She woulda been 5 or 6 years old. One of hundreds of little furballs in the movie. Doubt any of em got a credit.

Alien February 8, 2013 at 8:34 am

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I remember when they scanned her derriere.. years ago it seems now.. was sitting there watching with wifey and all I could do was give her a strained look and say “ITS SCIENCE!”

poppajoe49 February 8, 2013 at 6:37 pm

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Kari is totally hot! She likes to play with guns and explosives too!

flashingscotsman February 8, 2013 at 9:40 pm

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That’s why she’s my heart throb. Cute as hell, and fun too.

sa_rose February 8, 2013 at 12:42 pm

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Wellcome to Hollyweird. The Carrie you saw had lost the “extra” weight. Hollyweird is the birthplace of anorexia, bulemia, laxative use and diet pills. They did the same thing to Judy Garland and she ended up a dope popping fiend. Oh, wait. So did Carrie. No one looks normal in Hollywood, any more than models do. And another reason why most actresses after say, mid 20′s have difficulty getting parts. As teens they are bone thin, but as they get older, they acquire more womanly bodies and are considered too fat. So they get plastic surgery, a personal trainer, a personal chef to try and stave off the inevitable. Aging.

Alien February 8, 2013 at 1:24 pm

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Agreed.. i’ve had a theory about the runway models.. the fashion designer community is overly represented by gay men, who prefer the boyish loss of curves. I know, i know.. the clothes are supposed to hang better and all that.. HOGWASH, i like my theory

As for Hollywood, its clear that the curvier actresses get a lot more buzz and drool out of the boys.. think Scarlett Johansson, Olivia Wilde, or Christina Hendricks.. Cuz they look like girls.. err, real womenz

So perhaps they make the girls jealous, and audience share is lost. So we end up with Julia Roberts, who really does nothing for any guy I know

flashingscotsman February 8, 2013 at 9:47 pm

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I can go to WalMart right now and find a better looking woman than Julia Roberts.

And WalMart is closed for the night.

Not that I don’t LOVE slim women, I just see JR as not so hot looking.

poppajoe49 February 9, 2013 at 10:32 am

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She looks too much like her brother.

sa_rose February 9, 2013 at 10:54 am

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The idea behind modeling is to be a human hangar for the clothes. The idea of a beautiful model is fairly recent. They used to be simply a way to display the clothes. Since all women are built a little differently, the extreme thinness wards off issues with fit from model to model. One of my sisters used to model, and her build is very boyish; flat breasted, narrow hipped, long legs. Her clothes look fabulous on her, with no lumps bumps or pulling area. Now with the desire for more breasts on these women, the style for blouses has become a stretched, one size to small look. Its ugly, but it reduces the competition for the gay designers.

DefHarryMelon February 7, 2013 at 8:41 pm

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And quite actually, she was 20 when the first one came out, turning 21 5 months later.

sa_rose February 8, 2013 at 12:43 pm

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I stand corrected. In one of her interviews they made the connection between her age at debut, and her mom’s. Guess they fudged a bit. Liars.

Navyvet2 February 5, 2013 at 2:32 pm

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Awright, my flying story. I have flown many many business miles. My experience is exactly like JP’s. Beauty after beauty goes by and then here comes Tons-o-Fun waddling down the aisle to sit next to me. BUT, once I got on a flight, cursing my luck because I had an middle seat. But lo and behold, as I approached my row, up ahead were two lovely’s. One in the aisle and one in the window seat. YES!! It was my row.
However, almost immediately upon takeoff they both started puking and puked all the way to our destination.

sa_rose February 6, 2013 at 12:56 pm

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Lovely. I keep tellingguys, looks are one thing, but they won’t hang around forever, and sometimes not even 24/7. Look for the beautiful woman within as well pr in place of the hot outside.

Navyvet2 February 6, 2013 at 2:48 pm

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True, but the loveliness will last the length of the flight, unless of course the Lovely starts puking.

Neo-7 February 6, 2013 at 3:25 pm

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To quote the Moody Blues

Breath deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another days useless energy spent

Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and suckles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young

Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the color from our sights
Red is gray and yellow white
But we decide which is right and which is an illusion .

Alien February 6, 2013 at 3:37 pm

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Days of Future Past

Great album

Alien February 8, 2013 at 4:03 pm

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can’t believe i typed “past” and not “passed”. shame..

sa_rose February 7, 2013 at 10:28 am

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Meeeeeemmmm riessssssssss. I love that song!

http://youtu.be/9muzyOd4Lh8

Alien February 8, 2013 at 4:04 pm

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when i was young, dumb kid, i used to hear it as Knights in White Satin.. and i imagined a doomed, but valiant charge.. like crusaders in the desert

sa_rose February 9, 2013 at 10:55 am

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Actually that sounds kind of nice. And actually makes more sense that Nights in White Satin!

drb February 9, 2013 at 10:59 am

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nights in white satin…quit talkin’ about my pajamas!

poppajoe49 February 9, 2013 at 1:04 pm

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MUWAH! :-D