Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows

Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows. Next week Michelle Obama will have her husband create a law with his pen and phone called the Federal Approved Campground Food Law creating a list of approved foods to eat at campgrounds and severe penalties for eating roasted marshmallows or smores. This law will create a new bureaucracy within the Forest Service headed by the Marshmallow Czar. All Smokey the Bear ads will now be directed at keeping children safe from roasted marshmallows with ads titled:

Smokey Eats Arugula
Smokey Says Carrots Can Be Fun
Smokey Loved Roasted Squash
If You See A Marshmallow Roaster Say Something

We at IHTM urge you to read this blog post by the USDA and save your children from the evils of marshmallows and remember “Think fruit.”

Madelyn Morrissey (left) and Katie Roth roast marshmallows near the George Washington/Jefferson National Forest. (Courtesy Adrian Roth)
These children are Number 1 on the government’s most wanted marshmallow roasters list.

Author: CO2Insanity

Tired of the CO2 BS and all the other BS in the US and the world.

13 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
I HATE THE MEDIA ™
Verified by MonsterInsights