Help Wanted: Professional Fart-Smeller. The good news is that it pays up to $50K a year. The bad news is the jobs are in China. Ok, the bad news is really that you earn the money by smelling farts. But there is a training program, so all you grads out there with degrees in gender studies, here’s a chance to pay off those student loans.
Contributing Authors
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Recent Conversations
- Amid scandals, White House announces star-studded concert in East Room (12)
- deepthinker: Fiddling why Rome is burning. These two current occupants feel as if they should be able to do what ever, when ever.
- hisham: Remember these dates: 16–27 December 1989 Remember this place: Romania Remember these cities: Arad, Braşov, Bucharest, Târgovişte and Timişoara among others Remember this result: Collapse...
- Progressive Hemrrhoid: What a lazy scumbag. Go ahead Quagmire, have another bash, and invite all your communist friends. Then off to another multimillion dollar vacation I’m sure.
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- JPTravis: I’ve gotten plenty but they usually replace the “John” with “asshole.̶ 1; As in, “Dear asshole, your clothes are in the driveway. I ironed them for you....
- GhostntheMachine: Dear John, I missed the gist of it, but off the top of my head I’m guessing they’d say people who sell more than x# of items a year are a business and will be treated...
- JPTravis: Haven’t heard but at this point it wouldn’t surprise me. The IRS is staffed by thugs and twerps and arrogant SOBs… and my name is Crowley by the way, not JP....
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- stinkfoot: But of course.
- CO2Insanity: That’s already landed in Washington, DC.
- C_Strasburger: anecdotally speaking, of course….
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- stinkfoot: The press should not be given the rank of “constituency& #8221;. It is an interested player in the game with far more power to influence the political direction than a mere...
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- Note praising Allah
didn’t float PC boat (12)
- hisham: To get rid of the problem, you’re going to have to be willing to get rid of the pests…all of the pests. They all carry Lyme disease: allas islamicus.
- hisham: No, we’ll just do that for them.
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- perlcat: That worming stuff is horribly bitter.
- perlcat: They’re just like us — getting a raw deal all over. I remember using beer to get hogs to take their worming medicine. If you gave them one beer, and then 11 doses of wormer,...
- Exposing the Safelink Wireless government cell phone for the poor scam (4906)
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- CO2Insanity: 911 calls are free anyway. https://www.safelink wireless.com/safelin k/terms_conditions
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- Karmaa: Pig foam!
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- JPTravis: Which is what the gay community does. Surveys show they have an astronomical number of sex partners.
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- sa_rose: Shasta waaaaa to
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- perlcat: “…to avoid making his president look stupid” That cow done left the barn.
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- Progressive Hemrrhoid: They didn’t chose not to, they were told not to.
- Amid scandals, White House announces star-studded concert in East Room (12)
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
1
It’s HERE! A job that Charles Johnson and John Kerry are both qualified for! This is an occupation that Chuckles would shine in, while Mr. Ketchup would add a touch of class with his hero medals.
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6 
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He threw away his shiny hero medals. Probably the smartest thing he’s ever done, for likely he deserved none of them.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
10 
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Ah ha. Newsweak is going tits up right? All their bullshit artists, er ah writers, have had their noses up King Bawreck’s ass for so long, who could be more qualified? And they just happen to be suddenly out of a job.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
1
“extremely stinky farts indicate bacterial infection in the patient’s bowels or intestines” Oooo No! I think I might have bacterial infection!
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
1
Yeah, no kidding…. but it begs the question, do non-extremely stinky farts exist? Begs another question… anybody ever notice how you don’t really mind smelling your own RG but let somebody else release in your presence and OMG?
Like or Dislike:
6 
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Trust me they aren’t kidding. If you had a bacterial infection you would absolutely know the difference!
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
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Would never work here I’m afraid, somebody would try to start a Union.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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What are they going to strike for? Better working conditions?
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
11 
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Finally! The perfect job for Crowley.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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He may be overqualified. All these years of sitting in the basement, I’m sure he has been smelling farts quite often, either that, or his nose is destroyed from smelling himself.
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4 
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Well Greyhound has an opening for Creepy Crowley if he is over qualified for the Chinese job…Sucking farts out of bus seats…7.50 an hour.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
10 
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Professional Fart-Smeller, a.k.a. Reader of the Leftwing Mind.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
13 
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Confucious say: Man whe smell fart for a living think work is a real gas.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
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Personally, I think the job would stink.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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Now I know who would drink the elephant poo coffee!
Like or Dislike:
6 
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Or cat poo coffee (yep they have that too)
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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You righties have it all wrong on this one . The untapped potential of the energy in all those billions of “farts “( flatulence for real people ) is only limited by your unwillingness to invest billions and billions and billions in ground breaking research .
That article awhile back about mocking those of us that DEMANDED MASSIVE research on mining the unlimited energy from the ever shining moon , just shows how STUPID you all were from birth .—– Oblvious and her kind
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
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Neo-7.
Please edit your post, we use the term “She who shall not be named”.
Actually using that name might cause the return of She who shall not be named.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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Welch’s grape juice, jam and jelly commercials used to show a device they called the Welch’s flavor saver. This device could be retrofitted to concentrated the emissions of every carbon based flatulator on the planet, or at least in the D.C. area, providing a ‘green’ energy source that would be more abundant and useful than anything our trillions of tax dollars have been invested in these past four years.
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6 
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Unless they could find a way to harness all that hot air and use it to heat public buildings, or generate electricity.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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I’ve been told that I’m a pretty Smart Feller. Is that close enough?
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
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“Finally, the presence of garlic or chives in our farts is thought to be an indicator that we’re consuming too much of the foods in question…”
No shit.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
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No, just gas.
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4 
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No such thing as too much garlic.
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4 
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5 thumbs up to you Flash!
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3 
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Or bacon.
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3 
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or friends
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
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You would need a dog to test pelosi, because her skin been pulled so tight when she farts only a dog would hear it.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
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ROFLMAO!!!
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