How would they do against virgin bodyguards, that's the question
Iranian female ninjas sue Reuters. IHTM readers used to be fascinated by Muammar Gaddafi’s virgin bodyguards. Gaddafi is history, of course, but now we have Iranian female ninjas! And they’re hot! Maybe we can round up some unemployed bodyguards and stage a Virgins vs. Ninjas fight night in Vegas.

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

CO2Insanity March 29, 2012 at 3:50 pm

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They should use Ahmadinejad for a practice dummy.

J.P. Travis March 29, 2012 at 3:58 pm

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Does he really need practice at this point?

Oh, you mean practice for them…

LA Sunset March 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm

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I guess we can count on Live Nation for tickets?

Notsosilent March 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm

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Well there employer is dead, so what’s a female mooselimb ninja to do? Unless Obama invites them here to live among us, and probably offer them jobs protecting the administration appointees instead of the secret service, then the ninjas can get all the free shit the occupoopers want…

KimmyQueen March 29, 2012 at 4:28 pm

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Their employer is dead?!? Did I miss something?

J.P. Travis March 29, 2012 at 4:33 pm

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I think he got confused, in his excitement, about who was in Libya and who was in Iran. That’s what ninjas do – you’re never really sure where they are.

KimmyQueen March 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm

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For a moment there I was thinking about celebrating. Imanutjob the Dictator’s death should be universal news. I usually don’t like celebrating people’s deaths, however sometimes there are some people that are so crazy the world would be better without them.

Notsosilent March 29, 2012 at 10:23 pm

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Sorry I was thinking of Libya’s nutjob who employs the ugly ninja stepsisters…Crap!

Geoff B March 30, 2012 at 12:18 am

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Dammit, I went and bought a bottle of Dom! Oh well, It’ll keep.

Notsosilent April 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

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Sorry..:(

KimmyQueen April 2, 2012 at 6:28 pm

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Save it for November…

PsychoDad March 29, 2012 at 4:30 pm

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AWWRIGHHHHHHT!!!! Send ‘em on a boat ride to East Africa — EPIC Ninjas vs Pirates action!!!!

Joe March 29, 2012 at 4:39 pm

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Reuters, don’t F with ninjas yo.

BTW, I mean regular females walking down the street w/o their face covered, meh…. female smokin hot ninjas walking down the street, that causes movement (if ya know what I mean guys).

Seriously, how screwed up is your society when women are “oppressed” but you let them be smokin hot ninjas?

Iran now supports everything I ever wanted in a woman. I no longer know if my love of ninjas trumps my love of America. I’m so confused.

What would I say to Iran? Please keep up the smokin hot ninjas, but please don’t try and destroy Israel, I’m very fond of them too. Also, don’t try to destroy American either, one half of our two party system is trying to do that already, and we don’t have smokin hot ninjas to save us, we only have Mitt Romney :-(

PsychoDad March 29, 2012 at 4:52 pm

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How much would YOU pay to see hot Iranian vs Israeli ninja chick action?

IN THE ARENA!!! SUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

Joe March 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

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As it turns out, not matter what happens I’m 99.9% sure I won’t win. Ultimately, someone has to keep the balance of the Iranian/Israeli hottie ninjas who fight to the death. I’m fairly sure I will some how suffer at the end of their battle.

I guess it’s a gift and a curse.

J.P. Travis March 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

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If we’re gonna talk about who wins, I’m pretty sure the Libyans will beat the Iranians… because they’re better rested… because they can lie down on a BEDouin anytime they want.

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.

perlcat April 2, 2012 at 9:31 pm

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I can foresee how you would suffer. You would have suggested a “small” addition to keep the fight interesting, and wound up being injured by a flying glob of strawberry Jello in the melee.

What a way to go.

Alien March 30, 2012 at 12:40 am

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i’d pay great heed

the least they could do is compete on that ninja gameshow on G4

GhostntheMachine March 30, 2012 at 7:58 am

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Complete with the world’s best MC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWlE1V_lnAQ

KimmyQueen March 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

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I am willing to bet that if these women have husbands they are the best husbands in the country.

Alien March 30, 2012 at 12:36 am

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lol indeed.. this kind of martial arts should be spread throughout the islamic world. They seem nothing less than badass, and I hope they can teach a few men a lesson

Progressive Hemrrhoid March 29, 2012 at 6:56 pm

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This article made my brain itch. Iranian Ninjas, is that anything like Military Intelligence?

MGAP March 29, 2012 at 11:01 pm

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Wait, they’re upset over Reuters calling them, self proclaimed ninjas, assassins? Do they understand what the pointy end of those swords are for? It’s not all about doing splits and airing out the yammybox. Ninjas train to kill shit…. in a stealthy manner. It’s not, “Ooh look how high I can kick Fatima!” It’s, ” Fatima, look at the pile of infidels I killed with a crust of pita bread.”

GhostntheMachine March 30, 2012 at 8:08 am

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My first thought too, Ninja silent assassin calling cards, so I had to look. Right there in the second sentence at Wiki. Poor ninjas got their feelings hurt, and they were wrong about history. That’s ok honey, don’t pay any attention to them, just try and remember not to put the whites in with all those darks again.

GhostntheMachine April 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

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This is just too good to pass up;

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV?id={D01EC34D-6173-4DF3-AA33-8976FF47B28F}&title=Iran-Takes-Away-Reuters-Press-Credentials

perlcat April 4, 2012 at 6:30 pm

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You mean Reuters was a press organization? Who knew?

GhostntheMachine April 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm

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touche

hamidreza June 6, 2012 at 2:40 am

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ok