Crack addict? Jailers find cell phone, MP3 player, headphones, cash and pot up inmate’s butt

by editor on March 26, 2011

Crack addict. Get it? Ass crack. C’mon, that’s a pretty funny headline considering that it was written at 3:30 a.m. Show the Editor a little love here.

But enough begging. Here’s the crazy story from the Smoking Gun:

earl lee vogt butt

Earl Lee Vogt must not be a liberal. Otherwise he would have had his head up his ass, too.

Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt, pictured in the post-surrender mug shot at right, was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

The inmate in the next cell reportedly hollered, “Turn off that shitty music.”

Rim shot.

Source: The Smoking Gun

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Big Al March 26, 2011 at 3:12 am

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During lock up his ass turned out to be a Playstation.

RIM March 26, 2011 at 5:13 am

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Holy Sphincter, Batman, that’s one bad ass reefer you smokin’ there.

sifi March 26, 2011 at 7:11 am

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Only Christopher Walken could pull this off successfully.

StrinaM March 26, 2011 at 8:20 am

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Wow! That is one big A-hole!!! The guy, too…

jukin March 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

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Is that cell phone in your ass or are you just happy to see me?

Mike Tyson goes to jail and gets a big old red neck as a cell mate. The big red neck asks “DO you want to be the husband or the wife?” Mike says that he would like to be the husband. The red neck replies “Great!. Now get over here and suck your wife’s dick.”

rimshot

Paden March 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm

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If he had any brains he would’ve shoved a cordless sawzall up his rectum.

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

RockingHorseGuy March 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm

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He does look rather uncomfortable in the mug shot. I bet he farts a lot quieter now, though.

Paden March 26, 2011 at 8:18 pm

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He probably rattles when he “breaks wind”.
His cell mate keeps thinking he hears wind chimes..??

hisham March 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm

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You guys and gals would be suprised what someone can hide up their butts. Working in a prison as I do, I’ve seen some strange (shit) fall out of the fart factory!

editor March 27, 2011 at 3:21 am

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I have a close family member who works as a corrections officer (aka prison guard) and he has told me stories that make my few remaining hairs stand on end.

hisham March 27, 2011 at 10:58 pm

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A lot of times, to get a mug shot like the one you have above, the prison staff will get the inmate ready for a court hearing at like Oh-dark-thirty in the morning. By this time the little darling(ette) has had about three hours of sleep, (if they’re lucky) on a hard cement or steel bed with about a two and a half inch thick lumpy mattress on it. They wake them up and march them to inprocessing, take their mug shot, which almost always looks something like the one above, (I think that’s some kind of protocol) and prepare them for a drive to court. I think the ones who manage to smile for their pictures aren’t hitting on all cylinders…sad, really.

deepthinker March 27, 2011 at 5:47 am

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Guess he was truly a big ass hole.

David Duff March 27, 2011 at 6:22 am

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Oh dear, I worry for you all ‘over there’ lest that rather odd looking woman with the short back and sides (er, I mean, her hair cut) who runs your Homeland Security should get to hear of this. It will make your airport terminals even more fascinating if somewhat smelly!

editor March 27, 2011 at 6:26 am

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We appreciate the concern of our UK brothers.

redabogado March 27, 2011 at 7:12 pm

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TSA, Total Sh*t Anal-lysers.