WTF? Man’s penis saved after getting stuck in dumbbell

The deficit is the only thing Nancy Pelosi has ever made five times its normal size

If you thought this was a story about Nancy Pelosi getting caught in flagrante delicto, you’re wrong. The Speaker of the House was not the dumbbell in this case.

Here’s how the Orange County Register tells this peculiar story:

In a case of do-it-yourself male enhancement gone awry, a local man had to be hospitalized after a metal dumbbell ring became stuck on his penis and caused the organ to swell to five times its normal size, authorities report.

The incident, first reported by the Daily Pilot, began with the man’s ill-conceived attempt to enlarge his penis and ended Tuesday in a Newport Beach hospital room, where rescuers sawed the ring away and spared the man’s member.

Keith Jones, deputy fire chief in Costa Mesa, said the ring had been stuck below the belt for as many as three days, and that the man initially resisted treatment. “This was a patient that was obviously having some other issues,” Jones said.

The man, described as middle-aged, eventually relented and allowed city urban rescue experts to remove the ring in a two-hour, ultra-delicate procedure involving a pneumatic chisel that sent sparks flying around the operating room, Jones said.

The man’s condition isn’t known, but Jones said it appeared he remained fully intact. “I know (rescuers) felt that what they had to do, they did it effectively,” he said.

Five times it’s normal size? Good lord, that’s almost as big as the guys at IHateTheMedia.com.

Source: Orange County Register