Michael Jackson announces ten new concerts and one new nose

March 5, 2009, 7:36 pm · 5 comments

Nutty former “King of Pop” and one-time black man Michael Jackson announced today that he will perform ten concerts London this summer.

“These will be my final shows performing in London. ‘This is it’ really means this is it,” Jackson stammered. “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear. I’ll see you in July and I love you so much.”

In an effort to be taken seriously, Jackson made his announcement while sporting oversized sunglasses and a sparkly, embroidered military-ish jacket. He also appeared to be sporting a new, even pointier and more upturned nose.

As a sad note to the proceedings, it was revealed that Jackson’s former nose is now penniless and living on welfare somewhere in South Central Los Angeles.

Tagged as: final curtain call, London, Michael Jackson, tour

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