The following is brought to you by global warming alarmists who are waiting for trillions of your dollars to mitigate the effects of…GLOBAL WARMING!!!
Dear people who don’t believe that you will soon face a fiery hot death due to your own selfish, gluttonous, non-eco friendly, non-socialist behavior,
It’s over! We’re all doomed! Oh, Sweet Merciful Gaia!
Oh, great merciful Gaia, we pray that you save us from the scourge of global warming (and global warming alarmists!!!)
All weather conditions are caused by global warming! So are lower circumcision rates in Africa!!!
Heat Waves are caused by Global Warming!!!
Snow is caused by Global Warming!!!
Rain is caused by GLOBAL WARMING!!!!
Tornadoes caused by GLOBAL WARMING!!!!
Bad tomato crop? You betcha SWEET HOT ASS IT”S GLOBAL WARMING!!!
Lower African circumcision rate caused by… GLOBAL WARMING!!!!
As if that weren’t bad enough, it appears that over-use of exclamation marks is caused by global warming!!!
ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Thank you. Have a nice day.
- Written by Sven Waring, global warming alarmist
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
16 
0
Global warming is responsible for Al Gore’s weight problem… if it didn’t make him so rich, he couldn’t afford to eat so much.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
F**K Gaia! and do it with Jupiter’s C**K
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
12 
1
AGW may turn out to be a bigger scam than itself!
Every time I turn around, it gets bigger. Every time someone disproves it, they use that to make it even bigger!
Soon, it will be bigger than all wars, hurricanes, tornadoes, and rat infestations combined!!! The amount of money needed to battle it will be larger than the entire planets GDP!
All because these “climate scientists” haven’t figured out that sun spot activity and climate cycles are not able to be controlled by mere humans.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
15 
0
But aren’t scientists supposed to be like smart and stuff? Like they took science classes and stuff. Like science is really hard and we should like listen to them n stuff. Like really, we should just let them think for us and stuff.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Hey MGAP!!
Looks like Olivia hacked your account!
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
0
Yes, like, you know? Because they know everything and like you know they theorize and all that business and like read those like very hard like books that are thick with big long words. noamean? LOL
I dont even understand this supposed unwavering and consistent confidence that we should have of these so called scientists just becuase they may hold a PHD.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Those books are really super heavy too. You forgot that part, like really?
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Like, I really remember the Professor from Gilligan’s Island, and how he could figure out almost, like, anything! I never understood why none of their hairbrained schemes got them off the island though. Or why anyone marooned on an island with Mary Ann would want to leave.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
“Those books are really super heavy too. ”
Dude, of COURSE they are heavy! They are physics books – like, the LAW of gravity, you know?
The most important thing I learned in science class was that gravity might not be pretty, but it’s THE LAW.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Gravity is NOT my friend. Gravity does not like defiant people.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
0
I dont even understand this supposed unwavering and consistent confidence that we should have of these so called scientists just becuase they may hold a PHD.
Do you watch Big Brother?
If you do, remember one thing. Rachel (big boobs, red hair, no brain) is a scientist with a PHD.
Nuff said?
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Big boobs pull blood and oxygen from the brain. It’s not her fault she’s stoopid. It’s the tatas. They take that into consideration at undergrad schools and thus grade on a curve.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
0
LOL I take offense sir
. I have big “female pouches” as I call them and I can confidently state that I am fairly smart. 
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Nothing wrong with distracting curves. It is when a person uses them as a substitute for brains that they get in trouble.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
0
That would be really bad for me. My “distracting curves” are a bit lower down so if I tried to substitute them for brains, that would make me an a$$ rather than a boob. Just sayin’
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
0
In that case you would be graded on the Callypigian Curve…
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
You say that like that’s somehow bootier, er uhm I mean better.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
Nothing wrong with bootier.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
Mmmmm. Booty. I could follow my sweet lady all day long for that reason…
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
LOL!
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Agreed.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
Hehe, touche’ KimmieQ.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
Piled High and Deep.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
I think you are speaking of the show right? No I don’t watch that. A lot of people get their PhD’s and they are so stupid about the real world.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
8 
0
What I learned in college was that having a PhD meant you knew more and more about less and less. It did not give the PhD holder an advantage.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
A lot of these fools just go for it, just so they can be called Doctors. It is an ego trip. It is rather pathetic. I think that medical and psychological doctors need Phd’s I dont feel right calling a mathematician doctor… seriously? DOCTOR because you do math? Okay okay really complex math that will have NOTHING to do with my life… but still you want to be called a Doctor? Please.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
Actually I would rather call a mathematician “Doctor” than a philosopher or a shrink. That “really complex math that will have NOTHING to do with my life” has much more affect on your life than you can imagine. Without it we would not be having this conversation, unless we were all in the same room at the same time. You would still be cranking your telephone and driving a car that has power assist, drum brakes. We would not have cable television or high def cameras or cameras at all, as we know them. You would not be eating the wide range of vegetables that we have become accustomed to finding at the grocery. Name ANYTHING in modern life that you think that you cannot do without and I can almost guarantee that it would not exist in it’s current form without that really complex math you speak of.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Kind of like oil ,eh?
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
Can we cut out the part of the math degree that helps produce politicians?
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
Hasn’t the current debt situation and it’s causes proven that math and politics are permanently and irreconcilably separated .
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
It is true all sciences and math has been useful to our world, however, in my own personal opinion, the word Doctor is overused. To me a Doctor is someone that directly helps on improving the health (physical and mental even perhaps spiritual) of a human being and the health of animals in the case of veterinarians. I just think that a lot of these Doctors are just Doctors because of the pedigree. However some who do something for society I guess deserve it, but that is just my own personal opinion: that the term is being overused and in these sciences of environmental causes they expect people to respect them just because they have Phd and can be called Doctors. I dont think so.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Its the same thing as actors. Just because a person is good at one thing does not mean they are good at anything else. My uncle has a doctorate — he is a brilliant geologist — sweetest man I know. But I would never go to him for financial advice — he’s spent 72 years of buying high and selling low.
The problem is in liberal think, they cannot make that fine distinction. Therefore, we get educated idiots trying to run the country.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
Therefore, we get educated idiots trying to run the country.
And the left turns them into useful idiots!
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
Right.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
“What I learned in college was that having a PhD meant you knew more and more about less and less.”
Very true. I was married to one. Rat Bastard was brilliant in his field, but dumb dumb dumb in everything else. Dumb.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
A lot of people in fields where they really don’t have to interact that much with ALL kinds of people on a daily basis can be very intelligent when books are concerned but definetly fools on a lot of issues.
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
I know how tho solve it! Build a huge ass big space ship, one big enough to put all of the world’s marxist, gaia loving, AGW proponents in it. When you have them all rounded up and in the ship, all their families and luggage in tow (of course, the politicians and zillionaires that help them and fund them too); tell them they’re the only ones worth saving and they’re being sent to Alpha Centauri. Then close the hatches and launch them into the center of the biggest Sun spot and see shat happens. If it’s really good or bad, we’ll all know in about eight minutes…when they finally arrive in about 60 years.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
0
They’re narcissistic enough to go for it.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
Can we get a faster spaceship, though? I don’t want to wait that long. Besides, they’ll probably all kill each other fighting over what to tax first when they get there.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
10 
0
This article is faulty as well. It’s global climate change not global warming. And you f***ers all contributed to it by wasting electricity running your computers to read it.
I can’t wait until I run out of regular light bulbs and go all LED. My house will have that ‘hip Miami night club’ blue glow goin on up inside it, yo. (that was more sarcasm Olivia dearest)
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
0
I cannot also wait to wear a hazmat suit when one of them breaks.
Like or Dislike:
3 
1
HazMat suits suck, Kimmy. I’ve been in Level One a number of times, and I can’t wait to get out of the damn thing.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Goodie… Do they come in pink? LOL
Yeah I figure those things are heck to put on. I just don’t understand with their desire to control our health that liberals are okay with what is basically a bio-hazard in our homes. It is insanity.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
I haven’t seen a pink one yet. I always get either the green or yellow ones. They’re hell to put on, but even worse to try to work in. You can’t see a damn thing, the sound of your own breathing is deafening, all your senses are restricted severely, and it gets WAY too hot and humid in there. And gee, I get an extra dollar an hour for it. I quit admitting to being certified after a while.
Now, if you want to learn about hazardous waste forcing it’s way into your home, do a little research on Flouridated water.
http://charleshamel.com/2008/03/14/is-fluoride-dangerous/
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
My computer blocked the website. Dr. Strangelove (uhm another Dr.) that movie had a crazy general I think that was obsessed with flouride right? I don’t even understand that, people making these choices for us, it is just bizarre… and once again we say and do nothing about it :-/.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Big Al was shooting off his mouth the other day about the debt ceiling “crisis”, but I don’t recall if he said it is being caused by Global Warming or if it’s just a symptom of Global Warming. Wait…he said people who don’t believe raising the debt ceiling immediately without cutting spending are living in a fact-free alternate reality, just like people who don’t buy his Global Warming blarney. Given Al’s track record, I feel much better about the prospect for renewed prosperity if Congress lets August 2nd come and go without caving in on raising the roof.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
0
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha…and that’s all I have to say…idjit AGWs!
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
9 
0
Looks like a few Items caused by global warning were left off the list:
Jock Itch
Lost car keys
Ralphy Madcow
Dandruff
Low test scores
Keith Olbermeister
Identity Theft
Squeaky doors
Ed Shultz
Dropped cell phone calls
Spilled milk
Al Gore
Dental appointments
Lack of common sense
Olivia
Bizzare behavior by Liberals
Gravel
Pirates
Poodles
Harry Reid
Floor wax
Flatulence
Nancy Pelosi
Breathing
Cup O’ noodles
Barbra Boxer
Okay now pick out the real causes of Global warming..Hint They are all names.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
Ok, I got it. it’s Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Harry Ried, Al Gore, Ed Schultz, Keith whatsizname, Olivia, and Rachel Maddow’s flatulence….. And the Pirates……. And the poodles. Have you smelled poodle flatulence? It’s GOTTA cause something really bad.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
You forgot change of life babies!
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
From the Snow is caused by Global Warming!!! link:
“Even though this is quite a cold winter by recent standards it is still perfectly consistent with predictions for global warming,” said Dr Myles Allen, head of the Climate Dynamics group at Department of Physics, University of Oxford.
“If it wasn’t for global warming this cold snap would happen much more regularly. What is interesting is that we are now surprised by this kind of weather. I doubt we would have been in the 1950s because it was much more common. ”
That’s funny!
My parents were married in Leicester, England on December 27, 1948. Their wedding picture shows the ladies wearing suits with light jackets, the gentlemen in regular suits, the bride wearing a lovely gown (no overcoat) and the cutest shoes with peek-a-boo toes (no galoshes or muck luks). No snow anywhere to be seen.
When celebrating their anniversaries in this frozen wasteland north of the 48, we asked what possessed them to be married in the winter. They looked surprised that we didn’t know that England rarely ever saw snow. 63 years ago.
Dr. Allen, you are a DOOFUS, sir. You whore yourself out for the sake of your grants and subsidies. I am shocked – SHOCKED – I tell you.
P.S. I really wish my Mom had kept those shoes. CUTE!
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Wow….
Yeah these people are indeed whoring themselves and expect us to believe them because of the doctor moniker.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Anyone remember Drs, Mengele and Kevorkian?
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
Anyone remember Drs, Mengele and Kevorkian?
Aren’t they the chief surgeon and diagosntician at the hospital Oblivious works at?
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
I thought those were the docs she works with who empty bedpans.
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
I don’t think so, but pretty sure she can’t C. the Diff. between the two.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
Exactly.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
7 
0
Nice wee article, but kind of old news. Here is “The List” of everything caused by Global Warming (TM) as recorded by the British site “Number Watch”:
http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
It’s funny to read the list but it’s not too funny when you open the links. These AGW people are nuts. I mean I already knew that but your link is full of crazy like you won’t find this side of Olivia’s mind.
Like or Dislike:
5 
0
the British site “Number Watch”:
That list is what you get when you give a batshit-crazy leftist a typewriter!
Like or Dislike:
6 
0
Well, the craziest looking one was the African circumcision story, so I opened it. Written by a nutcase of the finest caliber.
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
AAAARRGGGGH I knew it we are all doomed we have lost the battle, we’re all going to die HELP US ALL GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSED BY GLOBAL WARMING OH NOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!
{ 1 trackback }