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New “alcohol busting” drug that sobers you up in seconds being developed by MIT scientists. “Researchers have developed a cocktail of alcohol metabolizing enzymes that speedily reduces blood alcohol levels in drunk mice.” The bad news is that is doesn’t work on mice that are drunk on power.

Contributed on February 18, 2013 by Bonfire of the Absurdities, who has submitted 2890 posts.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

CO2Insanity February 18, 2013 at 3:11 pm

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Doesn’t work on liberal mice who are drunk on stupidity either…

flashingscotsman February 19, 2013 at 8:57 am

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You can’t fix stupid.

ooddballz February 19, 2013 at 12:40 pm

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You can’t fix stupid…..But you can bribe it to vote liberal.

Progressive Hemrrhoid February 18, 2013 at 3:35 pm

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No mention of side effects such as a sudden drop in IQ by 40 to 50 points, urges to steal and redistribute, excessive babbling, and a tendency to hang out at bath houses.

poppajoe49 February 18, 2013 at 9:41 pm

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This will be a big seller at Spring Break.

Geoff B February 19, 2013 at 1:00 am

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Spring Break nothing. I could sell a ton of this when the Illinois General Assembly is in session. Say what you will about them (God knows I do). They keep my bar hopping this time of year. Maybe they’d do a better job if I and the other Springfield bartenders weren’t causing so many hangovers.

Missile Command February 19, 2013 at 1:50 am

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Geoff, seeing O’s performances sober, I doubt having his former colleagues sober would yield better performance. Pour ‘em heavy and take their money for a change.

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 1:00 am

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We’ve been able to do this with opioids for years. The only problem is it only works for a little while and if it wears off before the drug is metabolized, the overdose idiot can sill die.

Geoff B February 19, 2013 at 1:19 am

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You raise a good point. A friend of mine is a nurse at a hospital that offers that very treatment. From what I hear, it eases the physical dependency of opiates but doesn’t address the psychological aspect which means the addict will likely go out and use again without a shrink or a 12 step program. It’s a useful tool but it can’t be the only tool. The big question I have with this regarding alcohol as someone in the liquor service industry as well as someone who used to teach Responsible Service of Alcohol classes, does it make someone safe to drive when they were just drunk minutes before? And how foolproof is it?

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 2:22 am

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I know Narcan straightens out dope overdoses pretty rapidly, but with the headaches, vomiting, injuries from whatever trauma they got into to get them to the ER as codiagnoses, I don’t know if they could go back out and drive. I would think not. And again, it may take several doses to keep them breathing until the offending substance is metabolized. And the still have the physical dependancy so we have to watch them to make sure they don’t die from sudden withdrawal. And if we dry them out, get them off the drugs, they will walk out of the hospital and start searching for a bar, a dealer, or both. They have to WANT to stop, and they need professional help to have a chance.

MGAP February 19, 2013 at 10:36 am

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Would love to see this stuff administered to drunk drivers on scene after being involved in a fatal accident. Let the jerk see the bodies being pulled from the carnage so they can remember it for the rest of their lives. Take a blood sample beforehand for prosecution.

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 10:21 pm

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We hav3e a great as in our area that shows a guy being worked on in the ambulance. He drunkenly avows “but I was just a little buzzed.” Everything stops, the atart puttting everything away, and tell him something like” well, if you were just buzzed. . . . ” then it flashes back to the initial ambulance scene and the announcer notes “buzzed is drunk”

whiskeyriver February 19, 2013 at 1:33 pm

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There is a lot of difference between a drug overdose and slamming a few beers at the bar Miss rose. My question would be if the pill metabolizes the alcohol quicker does that mean the hangover starts sooner?

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 10:23 pm

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I am not having issues with knocking back a few beers. Just don’t go out and drive. I don’t know if the hangover would start sooner. Probably. With narcan, we have to monitor them and give support therapies so they don’t cold turkey.

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 10:23 pm

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I am not having issues with knocking back a few beers. Just don’t go out and drive. I don’t know if the hangover would start sooner. Probably. With narcan, we have to monitor them and give support therapies so they don’t cold turkey.

Missile Command February 19, 2013 at 1:43 am

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Mice drunk on power tend to play a lot of golf

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 2:22 am

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With Tiger Woods.

poppajoe49 February 19, 2013 at 4:59 am

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Mice or rats?

flashingscotsman February 19, 2013 at 8:59 am

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Rats with balls the size of mice.

andre53 February 19, 2013 at 4:15 am

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“The bad news is that is doesn’t work on mice that are drunk on power.”

No problem. It doesn’t have to.

That’s what the second amendment is for.

whiskeyriver February 19, 2013 at 1:35 pm

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If this pill works I look for the FDA to ban it. States would lose too much money if DWI arrests dropped to nothing.

sa_rose February 19, 2013 at 10:25 pm

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They have ben budgeting based on projected tax from cigarettes and gasoline for years, even as they move to eliminate most smoking and less use of gasoline. I imagine they would do the same for DUI fees.

flashingscotsman February 20, 2013 at 9:25 am

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They’d make up the difference on taxes paid for more alcohol being consumed.