ElephantPoopCoffeeBeans.jpg
New elephant poop coffee hits high-end cafés. The beans come from a herd of 20 elephants in Thailand which eat coffee beans, then poop them out a day later for human dung beetles to collect. Called Black Ivory Coffee, it costs $500 per pound or $50 per serving. What is it P.T. Barnum said about suckers?

{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }

Big Al December 8, 2012 at 9:54 am

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And they say that the Republican brand has no appeal.

Karmaa December 8, 2012 at 10:13 am

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That’s just disgusting.

I love to cook and I go to the “gourmet” sites – they east the NASTIEST things. It’s like gross = enlightened. Like lamb testicles or food wrapped in cow stomach lining. Then there is the cruelty stuff, like force-feeding geese to make their livers fat for fois gras. I don’t get it – I just can’t imagine that those things taste SOOOOOO great that they are worth the disgusting-ness. *Barf*

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 10:15 am

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What do you suppose the long-term effect of feeding elephants a high-caffeine diet will be?

wingater December 8, 2012 at 10:28 am

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I wouldn’t want to sleep with an elephant that tossed and turned all night.

PsychoDad December 8, 2012 at 11:13 am

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Eating coffee beans does NOT make an elephant restless and difficult to sleep with!

Well? Have you ever slept with a restless elephant?

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 11:16 am

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“Have you ever slept with a restless elephant?”

Just once. They settle down nicely after you stroke their trunk for a while.

PsychoDad December 8, 2012 at 11:29 am

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Eh eh eh!

Sidekick December 8, 2012 at 11:18 am

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Once in college. I was really drunk and she looked good at first.

CO2Insanity December 8, 2012 at 11:34 am

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How do you know an elephant is in bed with you? You can smell the peanuts breath.

Sidekick December 8, 2012 at 11:37 am

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What’s the difference between a Wellesley girl and an elephant?

About three pounds.

How do you even out the difference?

Force feed the elephant.

sifi December 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

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Pink elephant?

Karmaa December 8, 2012 at 3:40 pm

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Is that like coffee-goggles?

Bonfire of the Absurdities December 8, 2012 at 11:11 am

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Bloomberg will ban any cups of $500 coffee more than 16ozs – it causes EBT cards to explode.

Not so silent December 8, 2012 at 10:57 am

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Just not the same in the morning, sitting here looking at IHTM with a hot cup of steaming poo…….

sifi December 8, 2012 at 11:08 am

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This seems like a take off of the Kopi luwak or civet coffee made from the beans of coffee berries once they have been eaten and excreted by the Asian Civet (cat like animal). Just looked at some pictures. Their poop resembles a Payday candy bar.

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 11:12 am

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Oh great, now I can never eat a Payday again.

As for the take-off, I think you’re right. The Canadian entrepreneur said to himself, “How can I make bigger batches of that civet coffee so I can make a shitload of money off suckers? Hey, what if I use elephants instead of civets!?”

poppajoe49 December 8, 2012 at 6:16 pm

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DAMN! I used to love Paydays!

sifi December 9, 2012 at 4:44 am

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I’ll eat a Payday before I drink any of that crappy coffee.

PsychoDad December 8, 2012 at 11:14 am

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Er, yeah, thanks, I’ll stick with my Sumatra Mandheling.

Progressive Hemrrhoid December 8, 2012 at 11:20 am

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Don’t let the commiecrats at Starbucks find out someone is selling coffee for $500 a serving.

Dan December 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

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You stole my comment, Progressive Hemrrhoid! :-)

Progressive Hemrrhoid December 8, 2012 at 3:06 pm

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Sorry about that, but then Starbucks is good at fleecing the public with 8 dollar cups of burned tasting coffee, maybe I shouldn’t give them any more ideas.

Karmaa December 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm

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Yeah. How the heck did Starbucks ever get popular? Their coffee is horrendous. For GOOD chain coffee, you need to head to Canada and Tim Hortons. The Timmies in the US are not the same. I swear, whatever they put in it up there is amazing!

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

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A few years ago the big chains decided to grab a little of Starbucks business by improving their coffee. Everybody got better, including Dunkin Donuts, but I swear to God the coffee at Burger King is the best. At about a quarter the price of Starbucks.

Sidekick December 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

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McDonalds coffee isn’t bad. I admit I like the medium roast Starbucks coffee, Pike Peak.

GhostntheMachine December 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm

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Just don’t keep it in your lap while driving, stuff comes HOT.

Trickie December 8, 2012 at 2:59 pm

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I wonder if they sell the same brand popcorn

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 3:02 pm

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What kind of pop are you looking for?

Trickie December 8, 2012 at 6:41 pm

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recycled corn is green food i like algore to eat

flashingscotsman December 8, 2012 at 3:13 pm

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I knew there was a reason I don’t go to high end cafes.

poppajoe49 December 8, 2012 at 6:18 pm

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Makes me glad I don’t drink coffee!

MKR148 December 8, 2012 at 3:28 pm

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Austin Powers: Cor! This coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin Powers: Oh, good, then it’s not just me. It’s a bit nutty.

RedRightBlonde December 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm

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Clearly a product that will have mass appeal to Libs, as is their obsession with SHIT.

CO2Insanity December 8, 2012 at 5:32 pm

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Should be great for all those anal liberals.

Navyvet2 December 8, 2012 at 6:43 pm

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Man, I wouldn’t drink that shit. Badda boom.

JPTravis December 8, 2012 at 7:01 pm

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That was a crappy pun.

Dan December 9, 2012 at 3:22 am

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I shit ye not!! ;-)

RobertW December 9, 2012 at 5:46 am

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that would scarab ull OUT of a china shop.

JPTravis December 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

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Are you wasted?

drb December 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

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Our tax dollars are…that’s why government bureaucrats enjoy that brand of coffee…it’s free sh!t to them.

JPTravis December 9, 2012 at 11:19 am

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A good name for elephant poop coffee would be Boehner Dark Brew.

drb December 9, 2012 at 11:59 am

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and the cat poop coffee?

drb December 9, 2012 at 12:25 pm

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uh, it appears there is also monkey poop coffee and bird poop coffee. I get the feeling I might have to get off the java juice…just sayin’

Alien December 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

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Yeah I heard about the monkey poop variant years ago. No worries on accidental consumption though.. The processing is heavily labor intensive, and the sh-t is extremely expensive

JPTravis December 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

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Café au Hillary.

RobertW December 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm

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caf and calf camel carmel?

flashingscotsman December 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

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My Maxwell House is looking mighty good right now.

poppajoe49 December 10, 2012 at 8:30 pm

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Wal Mart coffee looks good compared to this.

RobertW December 10, 2012 at 8:33 pm

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pffftttt. Air Force coffee lookin’ good about now.

:D

RobertW December 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm

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if the cat poop coffee marketed right you might get a catastrophy

JPTravis December 11, 2012 at 7:00 am

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That’s nothing but business school dogma.

poppajoe49 December 11, 2012 at 7:31 am

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Or dogpoop?

Alien December 9, 2012 at 7:35 pm

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Scare a bull methinks

Dan December 9, 2012 at 3:25 am

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I think I would like to sample the drink that Thailand Clown was consuming the afternoon he watched an elephant drop a #2 – then thought to himself – wonder what that would taste like if you ran it through some hot water with a coffee filter. Now THAT has to be some KIND OF DRINK! :-)

RobertW December 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

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that kitten is so cute!

flashingscotsman December 11, 2012 at 10:01 am

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I have a question about what’s going on in the photo. If I wanted some elephant poop, and had some elephants to get it from, I think I would pour a nice concrete slab, keep it real clean, and sweep the poop up after the elephant was done. Is there some reason they need to stand at the back of the elephant with a bowl and catch it directly?

JPTravis December 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

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Do you want fresh coffee or not?

flashingscotsman December 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm

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Point taken.