The Obama Family Update
One’s in the hospital, one’s in court, one’s still in a slum

It’s no wonder President Obama became a Democrat. The way Barack Obama, Sr. reproduced, junior may have thought he was a Kennedy. He had so many kids in so many cities that he may posthumously nominated for the NBA Hall of Fame.

That being said, we can understand why the media pays so little attention to the President’s extended family. Where to start? Where to start? Where to start?

But as highly-trained journalists we feel a heavy responsibility to keep you updated on the latest happenings in Family Obama. Especially since the rest of the media doesn’t. Or won’t.

So here, without further delay, is the Obama Family Update:

Older half-brother Malik Obama: Kenyan health officials report that the president’s older half-brother has been hospitalized with abdominal pains. He’s being tested for cholera.

“Local disease surveillance officer James Sande says that Malik Obama, a 51-year-old businessman, was taken to Siaya District Hospital in western Kenya on Tuesday evening,” the Associated Press reports. “Sande says Obama’s condition is improving enough for him to be discharged Thursday or Friday. Results of his cholera test have not come back.”

Source: AP via Google

Illegal alien Auntie Zeituni Onyango: President Obama’s Auntie Zeituni, an illegal alien, is back in her government-subsidized Boston housing project preparing for an April 1 deportation hearing. Of course, that hearing will not be open to the public.

“Zeituni Onyango, a tall, frail-looking woman in her late 50s who walks with a cane, had fled Boston to stay with relatives in Cleveland last fall after media attention erupted over her case,” Boston.com reports. “She was spotted at Obama’s inaugural festivities in January and, according to neighbors, returned to Boston a few weeks ago for her third attempt to fight removal from the United States. She had been living in the country illegally since she was ordered deported in 2004.”

Source: Boston.com

Half-brother George Obama: It’s status quo in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. When last seen, George Obama was living in a wretched 65-square foot shack decorated with a newspaper photo of his wealthy, powerful half-brother. However, reports have recently surfaced that half-brother Barack has moved into a luxurious home located in the Washington, DC area. This has not been confirmed.

Barack Obama has five Kenyan half-brothers and a half-sister, another half-brother in China, and who knows how many others. So watch for other updates.

Tagged as: aunt, Barack Obama, brother, cholera, family, father, George Obam, illegal alien, Kenya, Malik Obama, mother, slum, Zeituni Onyango

Subscribe, tweet, share, tell a friend!

• RSS
• Email

Browse before and after this article

OLDER: Newsweek announces plan to prolong its long, slow, agonizing death
NEWER: Andy Richter takes a shot at smug Prius owners

Related Posts

1. Another Obama brother discovered, accused of sexual assault in the U.K.
2. Obama’s Auntie Zeituni is deeply disappointed in her nephew. Just like most legal Americans.
3. Obama’s illegal alient aunt moves to Cleveland
4. Associated Press calls Obama’s illegal alien aunt “symbol in immigration debate”
5. The Audacity of Dope. Obama’s brother busted for pot.