The winners have been announced in the article Top 10 Obama Administration limericks.
1,361 days to go. In the immortal words of Edgar Allen Poe, "Nevermore."
We read the Huffington Post every day just looking for classic stuff like this: a website called, “Starting Today: Poems for the First 100 Days.”
The website says, “The day before the inauguration we sent out a call to poets we admire to write poems that respond, however loosely, to the presidency, the nation, the government or the current political climate. More than one hundred American poets responded immediately. The first 100 poets were each assigned one of President Obama’s first hundred days in office, and each will write a poem reflecting on the state of the nation and the world on that day. A new poem is posted every day.”
Here’s the opening of the poem for Day #96:
“Stalked by a Prisoner of Texas”
You want to secede? From what? Yourself?
A pre-arranged harmonizing occurred
for eight long years: gun shots, obfuscations,
bleats of empowered utterance,
bombing, and presumptuous census work.
Immigrants screwed
for life—predatory lending thrust on everyone, including poets.
Faulty few in charge of rhetoric, and now they think
all is wrong with the world.A kind of speculative critical thought
inside a flayed fish, a lone canoe.No utensils everyone said.
The soul-self inside the big fat white whale.
You get the idea. Lots of lunatic libs submitting wacko poems that are deep. So deep that mere conservatives couldn’t possibly comprehend their…uh…depth.
We have been inspired by this poetry. Inspired to announce our own
conservative poetry contest not about Obama’s first 100 days, but about what
will hopefully be his next (and last) 1,361 days. And rather than ending the
poetry on a day when Obama cancels primetime programming to celebrate
himself, we choose to end our contest on Armed Forces Day, May 16, a day
when we can celebrate those who really matter – our military. (Contest has been extended to May 31.)
Here’s one we wrote just to get things going:
“Ode To Obama”
There once was a guy named Barack
Who loved to hear himself talk
He bought all the banks
Then wanted our thanks
Though he put all our children in hock
The Prizes: The Top 10 entries (as determined by IHateTheMedia.com’s editorial staff) will all receive the T-shirt or coffee mug of their choice from the IHateTheMedia.com store or the HyperboleGear.com store (up there in the right hand corner).
The Rules: All poems must be in the form of five-line limericks. You know, that kind of low brow poetry that appeals to conservatives. Enter as often as want, but only one prize per person. All entries must be submitted as comments added to this story and become the property of IHateTheMedia.com. IHateTheMedia.com reserves the right to delete any entries we find objectionable. Entries must contain correct email addresses so winners can be contacted. Better yet, create your own account and log in. Deadline for entries is midnight PST, May 31, 2009.
Let your creative juices begin to flow. Start writing. Start entering. And more importantly, start winning.
THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS ARTICLE IS RESERVED EXCLUSIVELY FOR LIMERICK ENTRIES.
Make all comments and ask any questions here >
And enter your limericks below in the comments.
Subscribe, tweet, share, tell a friend!
Browse before and after this article
OLDER: Intimidation, domination, annihilation: Fox News beats CNN and MSNBC combinedNEWER: Tim Geithner is one of People Magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People. Seriously.
Related Posts
- Top 10 Obama administration limericks
- Weekend Caption Contest #2
- School days, school days, good old-fashioned school days in The People’s Republic of Berkeley
- It’s our first weekend caption contest
- Announcing the winner of the ObamaCare art contest. Seriously.
{ 183 comments }
← Previous Comments
There was a guy named Barry
Who’d be funny if he weren’t so scary
Take him off the world stage
To go earn a Hollywood wage
And he’ll get laughs just like Curly, Moe and Larry
Pelosi lectured in China to an environmental session
But “inventorying our lives” was a startling confession
It couldn’t be bleaker
When a U.S. House Speaker
Can give Chinese tyrants some tips on oppression
MY POEM WHY I HATE THE MEDIA:
I TURN OFF MY TV WITHIN SECONDS
BECAUSE THE MEDIA MAKES THE WORLD SO HECTIC
WE HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO CAN DO NO WRONG
ESPECIALLY WHEN READING OFF THE TELEPROMPTER SINGING THE SAME OLD SONG
THE MEDIA HANGS ON TO OBAMAS EVERY WORD
I SEE THE MEDIA AND GIVE THEM THE BIRD
THE MEDIA AND OBAMA ARE PREACHING FALSE LIES
THE MEDIA IS EVIL JUST LOOK AT THEIR EYES
HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY THE MEDIA WILL CHANGE THEIR WAYS
THEN MAYBE, JUST MAYBE WE ALL CAN HAVE A NICE DAY!
—STEVE MATTHEWS
There once was a man named Barack
Whose policies sure pleased his flock
But as his popularity grew
His detractors began stirring the stew
And now all his fans fit in one sock.
Democrats accuse without proof that “Bush lied”
Even though he forced al Qaeda to run and hide
He kept us safe
Oh how the Left does chafe
It seems they’d be happier if more of us died
“Transparency” and “ethical” are Obama’s song
But he appointed the hack Holder to head a politicized DOJ throng
Then Holder let the New Black Panthers go
While going after Bybee, Yoo and Sheriff Joe
Cuz for Dems “non-partisan” means only conservatives can do wrong
Dick Cheney is the man
On him Obama didn’t plan
Popularity he lacks
Just sticks to the facts
And kicks Obama right smack in the can
Witness the new Commander-in-Chief
Who elicits the question, “Where’s the beef?”
He promised in his audition
To end trials by military commission
Then went back on his word ’cause he stands by no belief
I’d like to hear from Barak
What he’d do in case of attack
No pandering words
For placating herds
I just want to know he’d fight back
He has a strong presence on stage
Face plastered upon the front page
But listen closely
His speech is empty
He’s charismatic, not sage
A Dem in the Oval Office
Owning both sides of Congress
Then they’ll take the Court
Our will they would thwart
Will we have any chance for redress
For oil you won’t let us drill
Free debate you’d like to chill
Tell us how to live
Define what we give
You’d like to subvert our free will
I’d like to say “Screw you, Barack!”
And, no it ain’t cuz you’re black
On every issue
You’ve a liberal view
Real accomplishments are what you lack
He went on a tour abroad
Thinking skeptics would applaud
He traveled by script
Tough questions were skipped
His image a well-crafted fraud
Bad news is all that we hear
Headlines say, “The end is near!”
“The solution to that
is to vote Democrat.”
That should be our greatest fear!
The economy, a sorry state
His plan to stimulate
So you didn’t pay in?
Still, collect with a grin.
For the “low income” a tax “rebate”.
Obama will push amnesty
Despite complaints from you and me
Give a border pass
Next, “Protected Class”
My protest is called bigotry
Isn’t it obvious to you
They’ll regulate all that we do
Freedom Dems proclaim
But control is their game
Seems an oxymoronic view
Note to Obama:
You criticize Bush and his tactics
Claim he treats truth and law like elastics
Do you not comprehend
Islam wishes our end?
Wish your parents had used prophylactics
Jihadists want nuclear gear
When asked “Can’t we talk?” they just sneer
They want us all dead
With the ground stained blood red
Yet you say we’ve nothing to fear
GM and Chrysler took some shots of bailout gin
Now Obama can claim that they sin
Secured bondholders confess
Or he’ll unleash the press
Take Han Solo’s advice and “Let the Wookie win”
Come ‘n listen to my story ’bout a man named Joe
He does more harm to a friend than to a foe
Then one day he was huntin’ for some wit
Opened up his mouth and turned into a twit
Gaffes, that is. Big windbag. Delaware dumbass…
Okay, not exactly a limerick. I’ve run out. But it is five lines.
Well the first thing you know ol’ Barack’s a trillionaire
The Chicago pols say, “Pay us back from there”
They said Washington is the place you ought to be
So they packed up all their stuff and they moved down to D.C.
K-street, that is. Cocktail parties. Congressmen.
Well now it’s time to say about O and all his kin
He would like to thank you for the taxes you throw in
You’re all invited back to pay from year to year
To have a heapin’ helpin’ of the guv’mint up your rear.
Chicago style, that is. Payola. Have an arugula salad.
(Banjos) “The Economic Killbillies” (More banjos)
Remember, anything past 12 am PST will be past the deadline.
Obama, I think it unwise
That to Muslims you apologize
Chopping heads, bomb attacks
Stuff their women in sacks
It’s your world view that you must revise
Obama, he has a ball
Finding faults in us all
But say what he lacks
He will give you ten smacks
And say your country will fall
His life has become fairy tale
Can’t comment cuz my skin is pale
His plan to remake
The nation forsake
Our country is destined to fail
He got in because He is “cool”
Promising “change” for his rule
Now panders to all
Doesn’t see His own gall
In the end we’ll be eating gruel!
Obama on the White House lawn
His speech is scripted, a pawn
Real power hidden
Our freedoms bidden
Realize our nation is gone
← Previous Comments
Comments on this entry are closed.