The winners have been announced in the article Top 10 Obama Administration limericks.
1,361 days to go. In the immortal words of Edgar Allen Poe, "Nevermore."
We read the Huffington Post every day just looking for classic stuff like this: a website called, “Starting Today: Poems for the First 100 Days.”
The website says, “The day before the inauguration we sent out a call to poets we admire to write poems that respond, however loosely, to the presidency, the nation, the government or the current political climate. More than one hundred American poets responded immediately. The first 100 poets were each assigned one of President Obama’s first hundred days in office, and each will write a poem reflecting on the state of the nation and the world on that day. A new poem is posted every day.”
Here’s the opening of the poem for Day #96:
“Stalked by a Prisoner of Texas”
You want to secede? From what? Yourself?
A pre-arranged harmonizing occurred
for eight long years: gun shots, obfuscations,
bleats of empowered utterance,
bombing, and presumptuous census work.
Immigrants screwed
for life—predatory lending thrust on everyone, including poets.
Faulty few in charge of rhetoric, and now they think
all is wrong with the world.A kind of speculative critical thought
inside a flayed fish, a lone canoe.No utensils everyone said.
The soul-self inside the big fat white whale.
You get the idea. Lots of lunatic libs submitting wacko poems that are deep. So deep that mere conservatives couldn’t possibly comprehend their…uh…depth.
We have been inspired by this poetry. Inspired to announce our own
conservative poetry contest not about Obama’s first 100 days, but about what
will hopefully be his next (and last) 1,361 days. And rather than ending the
poetry on a day when Obama cancels primetime programming to celebrate
himself, we choose to end our contest on Armed Forces Day, May 16, a day
when we can celebrate those who really matter – our military. (Contest has been extended to May 31.)
Here’s one we wrote just to get things going:
“Ode To Obama”
There once was a guy named Barack
Who loved to hear himself talk
He bought all the banks
Then wanted our thanks
Though he put all our children in hock
The Prizes: The Top 10 entries (as determined by IHateTheMedia.com’s editorial staff) will all receive the T-shirt or coffee mug of their choice from the IHateTheMedia.com store or the HyperboleGear.com store (up there in the right hand corner).
The Rules: All poems must be in the form of five-line limericks. You know, that kind of low brow poetry that appeals to conservatives. Enter as often as want, but only one prize per person. All entries must be submitted as comments added to this story and become the property of IHateTheMedia.com. IHateTheMedia.com reserves the right to delete any entries we find objectionable. Entries must contain correct email addresses so winners can be contacted. Better yet, create your own account and log in. Deadline for entries is midnight PST, May 31, 2009.
Let your creative juices begin to flow. Start writing. Start entering. And more importantly, start winning.
THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS ARTICLE IS RESERVED EXCLUSIVELY FOR LIMERICK ENTRIES.
Make all comments and ask any questions here >
And enter your limericks below in the comments.
Possibly Related Posts
No related posts.
{ 183 comments }
← Previous Comments
Next Comments →
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Obama, Biden and Pelosi
An “A: Team? I’m no judge, I’ll let you be
I fear History will prove
they never found their groove
But the Media recorded it all as Rosey
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
He’s admitted that he had used drugs
At his background the media shrugs
For running our nation
His qualification’s
Organizing community thugs
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We suspect that Barack’s Kenyan born
But suggest it and you will be scorned
We will not long endure
He’ll destroy us for sure
For our nation I’ve already mourned
…The Bard from Upland
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The “One” submitted a name
To the high court to gain more fame
She’s latina and wise
The law she’ll revise
No American culture to remain.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The Feds will soon own it all
From GM to Carnegie Hall
Not a private thing owned
Our freedom dethroned
Society will be in free fall.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a famous House Leader
Who was known as a bottom feeder
Her name was “Pelosi”
But she looked like Lugosi
With a voice that was like a weed eater.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We live in the state of CA
Where our earnings are given away
Our taxes are squandered
Reduced spending’s not pondered
Because victims need someone to pay.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Our national leaders are fine
Even though they have no spine
Let Iran get their nukes
Israelis are pukes
And soon their land will have a green shine.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
He inherited it all from the Bush Team
Over and Over he repeated this vague theme
The Press sang his praise
Never once did they raise
A valid question or insight for our gain
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Where in the world to go
When all is like San Francisco
Where nothing is bad
And no one is sad
Cause they give out all meds with a bow.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There was chaos, confusion and Hope
Was Obama brilliant, a puppet or a Dope
The question seemed fair
But the Press wouldn’t Dare
Now bring on 2013 let’s Vote
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
His actions are taxpayer draining
On Barry there’s been no restraining
In way over his head
By a fool we’re led
He’s failing his on the job training
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Information is hard to amass
When the press always gives him a pass
They don’t dig too deep
And won’t make a peep
Lest they’re cast into the morass
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We’ve falling so very far
That the government now makes a car
It only turns left
Runs on taxpayer theft
And starts only for the car czar.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The ultimate victim now leads
He rose from a very small seed
A group called ACORN
Started blowing his horn
Creating his voters with great speed.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Our country is now like the rest
Like others we are failing the test
Once proud and unique
Now leaders do sneak
To find ways to feather their nest.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a boy named Barry
Whose birth they did try to bury
No proof was produced
His fame not reduced
And now we’re all very wary.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
From out of the bowels of a city
Came a man who formed a committee
He became our new prez
And everything he says
Is from the prompter, oh dear, what a pity.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
From Detroit the Union came to holler
We want some of that Obama dollar
Since a payoff was due
He said “Hey, Thank you!”
Now the taxpayer is just left to squalor
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
From a Catholic to my friends, the Jews
You screwed up when it came time to choose
It’s too late for rebukes
Iran soon will have nukes
And so whom do you think’s gonna lose?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
For abortionists he is their guy
A huge number of black babies die
He is loved by the cows
From the group we call NOW
For those ripped from the womb he won’t cry
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
His disdain for this nation is clear
For our very survival I fear
Hope and change were the words
That now seem so absurd
The Manchurian Candidate’s here
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Of our country, she has never been prouder
Now her voice has become even louder
She’s cocky and sure
But her motives impure
And her words are as clear as clam chowder.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
He promised us change and we got it
Though not quite the way that we thought it
To his left he owes debt
To his right, deep regret
And our kids will be broke cause we bought it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We must abide to new rules
They’ve taken away all our tools
They don’t apply to the elite
They have very fast feet
To them, we’re known to be fools
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a Prez named Obama
Who put the country into a trauma
With trillions he spent
The money was lent
With no end to his psycho drama
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a Pres. Named Barack,
Who during the election fed us a crock,
After dropping the stock,
And putting our future in hock,
Put Soto Mayor on the block
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Mr. Obana is our President, yes
I didn’t vote for him I must confess
And his wife they compare
To Jackie O, au contraire
Someone needs to teach Michelle how to dress
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There was a president named Barack
Whose predecessor’s war policies he did constantly mock
But reality intrudes
Prompting changed attitudes
That show Barack’s Bush-blaming to be a big crock
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Obama’s admired by Buckley, Brooks and Parker
But can’t they see their differences couldn’t be starker?
He never had a job
Except helping the ACORN mob
And overselling his promises like a sideshow tent barker
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Obama was dissed by Ahmadinejad
“So what?,” said Obama. “He’s a geek, and look at my bod!”
But that guy’s protected
No worries about getting re-elected
And in 2012 he might make it hard for you to get the nod
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hickory dickory dock
Gitmo’s on the clock
The Senate votes down
Obama’s a clown
The Left is in a shock
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a guy from Chicago
Who studied at the side of Blago
Under the bus went Wright
Without much fight
Leaving Ayers to say, “Where do I go?”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There was a girl named Michelle
For whom Princeton and Harvard were a racist hell
But then her husband took power
And within the hour
The American Dream suddenly became just swell
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Sotomayor said white men can’t judge
Yet still from her nomination Obama won’t budge
And if you dare point her racism out
YOU are the one branded a racist lout
As the Media churns out its bile and sludge
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh the agony of Hillary
Not one limerick for her will there be?
From the pre-end zone gloat
To a mere footnote
Not long ago such a thought would have been sillary
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What to do with Press Secretary Gibbs?
He needs so much help from the libs
Seems a nice enough guy
Giving it the ol’ college try
But it’s too easy to tell when he’s handing out the fibs
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The “regular guy” bio needed accenture
So Barry and Joe went on a Bill and Ted burger adventure
But no one would fawn
If they heard Barry order the Dijon
So in stepped the MSNBC message management censor
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a man named Obama
Who climbed out the vagine of his Mama
Hawaii or Kenya?
We’ll n’er know cuz Whenya
Ask all about it, there’s drama!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a chick named Pelosi
Who had surgery on her nosey
She was always so quick
To shake her broomstick
And make socialism look cozy
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a fairy named Frank
They called him queen of the banks
With spooge in his butt
He was a male slut
And when he farted, it stank!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a fella named Biden
Whose plugs made his follicles widen
When he opened his mouth
Opinion went south
And Obama wished he were hidin’
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a dickhead named Reid
Who spouted the liberal creed
You could say to his face
Please don’t screw up this place
But on the Constitution he peed
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Nancy lied and Harry Cried
Can you smell those tourists Outside?
I am ashamed
To even be named
As someone with American Pride.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a Sotomayor
She favored hispanics galore
She said wise latina
Then said “didn’t mean it”
& then the Constitution was torn
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Barack and his Lefties will See
Socialism does not equal Free
When thier out of Power
Interrogate for Hours
Using Waterboard and Gitmo Detainee
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a man from Mombasa,
who fed voters a load of keibasa,
Satora’s his name,
But goes by Barack just the same,
And feeds us more lies from su casa.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Barack told us all what he inherited
over and over again it was parroted
It was Bush Forty Three
So please, don’t blame me!
More hard questions and you’ll all be Garrotted
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There once was a man named Obama
the kids they teased “pajama”
Now he’s the Prez
and the Secret Service says
You better not call Barack “Yo Mamma”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The U.S.A. now has a dictator
Who is munching away our freedom like a hungry alligator
Our fight for this great country we must not shelve
So we can rid this liberal bunch in 2012
And make Barry Hussein a mere spectator
← Previous Comments
Next Comments →
Comments on this entry are closed.