What’s the skinny: Obama may have intestinal parasites

by editor on January 21, 2011

President Obama is losing weight. No matter how many times he takes his daughters out for ice cream, he just keeps getting skinnier. He now has the wrists of a slender, young girl, which may help explain the way he throws a baseball.


We've gone from a president with intestinal fortitude to a president with an intestinal parasite

The National Enquirer has the full skinny:

The real reason behind PRESIDENT OBAMA’s shocking weight loss – he’s secretly battling stomach parasites, say sources.

The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.

“Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar,” revealed a close source.

“There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them.”

First, consider that two years ago we had the spectacle of the media fawning over the greatest pecs in the history of the presidency when Obama strode mightily out of the Hawaiian surf. Now consider the fact that no beach photos were allowed during his last Hawaiian sojourn. His now frightening physique could explain the difference.

You learn something every day in this life, don’t you? For example, we never knew that parasites could get parasites.

Source: National Enquirer

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Anniee451 January 21, 2011 at 1:03 am

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Wow, his arm does look extremely emaciated. His legs are uber-skinny too. Maybe he’s just not eating enough.

nuke January 21, 2011 at 4:53 am

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Maybe that’s why he keeps bowing to foreigners like Hu and Abdullah; he’s trying to shoot the tapeworms out of his ass.

Big Al January 21, 2011 at 5:08 am

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You don’t gain weight by eating away the American dream.

Kip Hooker January 21, 2011 at 7:33 am

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I’ve often wondered how much wisdom there was in the old adage “you are what you eat”. But now that I’ve learned Obama eats parasites it seems like the old wives were right all along.

DJ January 21, 2011 at 9:01 am

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If this is true he has parasites, I’m guessing that he ate raw fish, but what is taking so long to get rid of it?

I’m also thinking it may not be a parasite, but more likely he’s sneaking a lot of smokes and doubling down on the Nicorette, as a way to deal with all the pressures of destroying the economy and the American Dream at full throttle.

DeanH January 21, 2011 at 10:59 pm

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and crack, don’t forget the crack. ask Larry Sinclair.

matthew s harrison January 21, 2011 at 9:19 am

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Anyone who buys that bullshit is an idiot. That is WH subterfuge. His lifestyle with Rahm and Larry Sinclair has caught up with him. It is called HIV-stomach parasites are easily cleared up with Trimethoprim-sulfametoxazol. Just remember, barry isn’t in his homeland of Kenya anymore. We have this thing here in the united states called “the most advanced medical care system on earth”. They have this stuff called “advanced medicine”. He has the treasury of the united states Gov’t on his side-and he doesn’t have to sit back and wait-they would have had that licked in a week if that is what it was.
For it to go on like this-it is HIV/AIDS or Hep-you pick it-but it is lifestyle based illness. PERIOD>

Aesculapius June 25, 2011 at 11:50 am

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Try real medine. Parasites are not killed or cleared by antibiotics. Trimeth-sulfa is an antibiotic. Leave medicine to those who actually know it. As for his phenotypic appearance, he has Indonesia genetic roots. That is enough explanation for me. The rest is pure gossip for the sole purpose of selling a publication. Personally, he and his administration have promoted national parasitiism. So, there is an exponentially increasing need for far more politically clean colons in order to make a difference for this nation. Now that’s change with a porcelain throne.

Chuck January 21, 2011 at 9:23 am

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Obama may have intestinal parasites? Obama IS an intestinal parasite!

danybhoy January 21, 2011 at 11:07 am

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Many of those who support him are DEFINATELY parasitic.

KimmyQueen January 21, 2011 at 9:48 am

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Ray January 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm

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He’s trying to become Steve Jobs, someone who is more admired than he is.

BuckeyeNut January 21, 2011 at 6:46 pm

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Seems to me the skinnier Obama gets, the fatter Michelle gets. Is she stealing his food off his plate or what? And she’s promoting good eating habits, too, but not setting a good example. So how can she tell parents what to feed their kids when she is getting fatter?

Necron_99 January 21, 2011 at 8:53 pm

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Barack Sprat could eat no fat
Moo-shell could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean

Barack ate all the lean,
Moo-shell ate all the fat.
The bone they picked it clean,
Then gave it to the cat

Barack Sprat was wheeling,
Moo-shell by the ditch.
The barrow turned over,
And in she did pitch.

Says Barack, “Moo-shell be drowned!”
But Moo-shell did reply,
“I don’t think I shall,
For the ditch is quite dry.”.

redabogado January 22, 2011 at 8:51 pm

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Now the assclown is dying his hair (see Drudge). What a self-absorbed nihilist.

Noelegy January 24, 2011 at 10:57 am

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You have to wonder what the REAL story is, that the “intestinal parasites” bone we’re being thrown seems less embarrassing by comparison.

KimmyQueen January 24, 2011 at 11:58 am

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Uhm… interesting…

Bulimia, anorexia or he is just smoking non-stop and living on smokes and coffee…

Glitzhsz2 January 25, 2011 at 10:32 pm

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Seems like when people live on cigs and coffee, they are supplementing them with some type of stimulant.

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