President Fears Chinese Might Beat America to the Sun

BREAKING NEWS: President Fears Chinese Might Beat America to the Sun. With a dire prediction for the future of American business and industry the President warned -on 04/01/14- that we had better act now or risk losing the sun to the Chinese. “The Chinese have already cornered 60 percent of the solar market. That leaved less than 25 percent of the sun remaining for Americans to use. We’d better kick it up a notch before there is nothing left.” The president continued with one of his famous teachable moments “For those of you that didn’t pay attention in science class the sun is very important. It is a giant ball of burning fire hundreds of miles away. When it revolves around the earth it creates what we know as day and night. The sun is very useful for lots of stuff on earth. For example a process known as photosyphilis makes it possible for plants and animals to grow. That is why we must beat the Chinese to the sun. We must land a man on the sun and return him safely before the decade is out … the fate of the American farmer depends on it.” The President’s comments have been met with some skepticism since their introduction, but only from the usual assortment of racists, haters and flat earther types.

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