You’ve got to hand it to Rachel Maddow. No one else can plunge into the crevices of a person’s past and deliver a tongue lashing like this two-fisted MSNBC host.
This time she’s decided to finger Christine O’Donell for being, of all things, masturbation intolerant.
Here’s the rub. Far be it from us to condemn people for getting in touch with themselves. A little introspection can be a good thing. And if by the end of all that waxing philosophic you come to the conclusion that you want to exercise a little more self control, well, that can be a good thing, too. But be warned, beating masturbation might not be as easy as you think.
Our suggestion for getting your hands around the problem and pounding it into submission? Try watching MSNBC on any weeknight between the hours of 9 and 10 pm Eastern. We guarantee that all sexual desire will vanish. It’s far more effective than a cold shower.
Thank you, Rachel, for helping us overcome the greedy urge for self-satisfaction. Thank you.
- Written by The Vitamin Press
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
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Rachel, Don’t worry. It will probably be a few years before Christine introduces an anti-masturbation bill. If this is the worst thing you can find on her, then just shut up. Or, buy some D batteries for your favorite nightstand toy and put a smile on your face, instead of that giggly smirk on your face whenever you say a “grown up” word like masturbation…you look similar to a little kid saying doody.
DOODY….hehehehehehe
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The press is obsessed that Delaware Republican Senate nominee, Christine O’Donnell said that as a high-school student she hung out with kids who styled themselves witches.
For this we’re now to conclude that she’s unfit to serve in the Congress of the United States A body composed of individuals of the most admirable rectitude. Apparently none of them ever did anything silly in high school.
Furthermore, we do know that O’Donnell similarly falls short of standards set by Democratic law makers and chief executives because she never
* drove drunk off a bridge.
* left a woman to drown to death because she was unsure of how it would affect her career.
* took a bribe.
* used her office to protect a bank her husband owned shares in.
* had sex with an intern
* cheated on her taxes
* did cocaine and then wrote about how hilarious that was.
* pardoned felons in exchange for campaign contributions
* destroyed evidence of a crime
* perjured herself before a grand jury
* belonged to the Ku Klux Klan
It’s as clear as can be that his woman just doesn’t belong in Washington
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Yeah, she’s absolutely horrible. How dare she stand for purity??!?!?
She must be a racist.
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11 
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Mr and Mrs Maddow must be so proud of their little dyke.
Controversial. What do you think?
11 
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If only those Catholic priest child molesters had followed Christine’s ideals of purity.
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
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Christine O’Donnell looks about seventeen years old in that video. Maybe next Rachel can unearth some home movies of when Christine was four and calling some Democratic icon a poopy-head.
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Sounds like to me Madcow is jealous. Go back to BOB, your Battery Operated Boyfriend Madcow and shut the hell up.
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Who is the Maddow guy? Man, his voice is so much lower than olberman or matthews – good to see Ms.NBC hiring some *real* men!
mv
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Wow, nothing like dredging up 15 year old video to make a point …. that college kids spend a lot of time looking for themselves. Yawn, Maddow. Seriously, this is the worse you can dig up?
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remember when you were 9 and you liked a girl, so you would pull her hair and run to the other side of the playground? Well, that is what maddow is doing. She just wants to do o’donnell, so she is attacking her-some people never grow up.
doody!
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She said that right around the time Obama was snorting cocaine and smoking pot.
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Plus she’s (O’Donnell) a witch…BURN HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Good One!
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She’s pretty hot. I had to rub one out while watching the video.
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Christine’s a cutie, but I think her Marketing Director was not qualified to be part of a group against masturbation. I’m sure she caused quite a bit of it on her own. Maddow? She could stop masturbation in it’s tracks, if they could just get more people to watch her show.
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I was bored. Telling people that perhaps masturbation is not a good thing for their sexual health is not against the law nor against morals nor against anything good and normal about the world. It is a point of view, it is a decision that she and others make for themselves. Sharing that point of view is not a crime. I am sure that she didn’t put a gun to people’s temples telling them to stop masturbating or else. I am also quite sure that even if she would continue to tell people what she believes in at this point in her life, she will not resort to beheadings or any other act of violence to get her point accross. So chill Madcow… chill.
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Well, masturbation is a large part of Maddow’s life- I mean the Joan of Arc hair, the cutting jaw of a prison matron, the little squirrel eyes looking to squeeze a nut; the high light of Rachel’s sex life is putting on her “special”ring to pleasure herself while watching excepts of the fox anchors
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I think Madcow’s problem about this masterbation story is that NOBODY is masterbating over her. She knows that nobody has an open browser with open trousers doing the old “whack n’ jack” to a google image search of our hero Madcow. Sucks to be her, LOL.
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I think you nailed that one on the head….. I mean…… well, you know I mean! Its Bushes fault (literally and figuratively!)
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…so what you’re saying is that nobody is capable of ‘singlehandedly surfing the net’ after watching Maddow’s show?
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You can’t have “Point of Views” anymore. If you disagree with someone, you are wrong…period. Then you must be reeducated to believe the way everyone else thinks.
A personal point of view? PLEEAAASE…that is so 2007!
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Gee, does this mean that when our beloved(?) Half-Cracker™ President is out playing golf he’s going to have to be careful about taking too many strokes?
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Mining back that far is an obvious sign of Democrat desperation. Ms. O’Donnell appears to have given reasonable ( and provable) answers regarding the “irregularities” in her past, all of which will of course be ignored by the MSM. So, the Party of Desperation has to find some sort of mud to sling to demonstrate that Tea Party wing-nut racist upstarts are not “our kind of people”.
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Not living in the USA I’d never seen / heard of this Maddow person before; golly she’s er…. manly!
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Yup. Great big hairy hands. Hair on the back, hair on the front. Hair on the chest, hair on the back. I bet she even has hair on her balls. It probably makes it hard for her/it, dating wise. I can see her ad in craigslist*. Butch dyke seeking butch dyke with poor vision/sense of touch/smell/hearing, object — lesbian marriage**.
* — where else would libs try to meet each other?
** — in an unrelated note — the term for lesbian marriage performed in haste is the same as for lesbian divorce — ‘lickety split’.
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bat doo-doo-I am very envious of your inability to watch madcow on the tube! I try to avoid MSNBC all together-but sometimes my wife or one of my sons will click using the up/down button on the remote-and since MSLSD is just a few channels away from fox news, they will often click through MSLSD-and they think it is funny to make me listen to olbermann, schultz, matthews, or maddow-and I lose it every time-I writhe on the floor, hands on my ears, like James T Kirk in an old episode of star trek, screaming “make it stop”…..they laugh-I end up hearing what one of the robots say, and start yelling at the tv-
I can’t wait to live somewhere where mslsd is not an option to turn on!
Rated Awesome! What do you think?
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Wow, MSLSD. The drug of choice of the kool-aid set. What a trip! …….??
Guaranteed to blow your mind! Picture your vote as it goes down the river….
See the Wicked Witch of the Left™ pound her gavel! See Nero Obama fiddle while the US burns! See RINO’s and Lib-bots dance the Lock-step Polka to Obama’s tune! See the sheeple mesmerised by the empty rhetoric and vague promises! Just drink this, vote row D and you won’t have any worries ever again!
Thorazine, please. Make it a double. Too much stream-of-consciousness envisioning ala Firesign Theater.
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There is relief. You can buy auto-off clickers that turn any tv off. Keep it in your pocket, wacky hijinks ensue. Remember that scene from Grumpy Old Men, where Walter Matthau was screwing with his neighbors’ TV during the lotto numbers?
If that doesn’t work, go buy TWO of their annoy-a-trons, set them to a cricket chirp and hide them so that your wife thinks the house is infested with crickets. When your wife complains, ask her if she remembers that old saying about payback. Take my advice with a grain of salt, though. I kinda like sleeping on the couch — it’s a lot like camping out, only without chiggers.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/755e/
IHTM should private label them.
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Who but a homosexual liberal would even consider masturbation so important as to politicize it.
The reality is, Maddow is just pissed she was born without a penis, it destroyed her dream of becoming a male porn star.
But I’m sure she stands while urinating, if just for the effect.
How does that new Geiko commercial go…A “Bird” in the hand is worth two In the Bush…
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“The reality is, Maddow is just pissed she was born without a penis,”
Whaa?
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BINGO!
only a progressive liberal lesbian or homosexual would be SO upset about this issue to the point of bringing it out in the forefront as a negative. I guess masturbation IS her sexual life (how sad) and doesn’t want to hear someone telling her that perhaps there are better ways to enjoy sexuality.
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Really Rachel should not even be worrying about Christine’s stance on the subject of masturbation as anyone can see who has seen Rachel Maddow she is such an aesthetically challenged individual that I’m sure even she doesn’t want to sleep with herself. I know I typed masturbation. (giggle giggle)
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That’s right. Unleash your inner 3rd grader. I did, and just look at me!
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Hmmm….maybe a little less with the puppy eyes, and you might shave your forehead a little more often. Woof!
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Here in Michigan, we call those typos
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Masturbation for Maddow is sex with the only person she loves.
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OR sex with the only one , that loves her . MAD COW is a firm advocate for masturbation , as NO one would touch her with a ten foot pole .
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Wretched Madcow is a sick, twisted, little man.
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