Exclusive: Shocking excerpts from Osama Bin Laden’s diaries

Thanks to our high level contacts in the CIA, IHateTheMedia.com is proud to be the first media outlet to offer excerpts from the Bin Laden diaries.

osama-bin-laden-2

The Washington Post reveals that, “U.S. officials say that Osama bin Laden kept a hand-written journal filled with planning ideas and details of operations. The journal was seized in the dramatic US raid.”

Thanks to our high level contacts in the CIA, IHateTheMedia.com is proud to be the first media outlet to offer excerpts from the Bin Laden diaries:

osama-bin-laden-2
Dear Diary, Hold on. Sounds like someone's at the door. I'll be...

Dear Diary,
So sad today. Martyrdom can be very lonely thing. Hiding out in a massive complex with just the bare minimal number of satellite channels and only a few wives while all your friends are getting blown up by American bombs is some times too much to bear. Sorry. Got to go. Abduhl just found repeats of Everyone Loves the Raymond!

Dear Diary,
Each day I realize that Islam is the religion of peace. If I could only kill all the people who don’t share this opinion. Here’s hoping.

Dear Diary,
Al-Zawarhi is on Fox. He’s so dreamy. That thick beard and those little glasses. He looks so intellectual. I think I have a little man-crush going on! lol.

Dear Diary,
It seems like everywhere Islam goes there is conflict. Israel. Kashmir. Iran. Indonesia. And Africa? Forget about Africa! Everyone is hating on us there. Why is it? Why do all cultures seem to fight against us? If I wasn’t so theologically correct in the teachings of Mohammed, praise him, I would speculate that we’re the aggressors. I just made myself laugh so hard I spit espresso on my journal.

Dear Diary,
Good news! I am receiving help from my friends in the… Pakistan… I mean Kapistani… government and intelligence agencies. Time to get my jihad on.

Dear Diary,
Found new website today – IHateTheMedia.com. Started posting as Jameela. Still waiting for free Obama phone 🙁

Dear Diary,
Met with wife number five and boy is she pissed. Seems she now has nasty camel rash. My bad.

Dear Diary,
Started using new beard dye. Local farmers not happy about stains on their goats. To them I say, build taller fence!

Dear Diary,
Really enjoyed the Royal Wedding. So romantic. That Pippa is something, isn’t she? She’s, like 27, though. A little too long in the tooth for me. Also, she is not a goat.

Dear Diary,
Q: Why were my last three posts about bestiality? A: Have you seen wives 2 through 5?

Dear Diary,
Hah! Joe Biden has not yet figured out he is chatting with me in the Hair Club for Men forum.

Dear Diary,
The damn air conditioning unit is on the fritz. Again! It is clicking and knocking. It’s noisier than a bunch of American Special Forces helicopters. Hey, wait a minute…

Contributors: Sven Warning, JJJRO

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