Ten ways to tell the difference between Lost and the State of the Union address

It's the final season of Lost. Unfortunately, we have three more seasons of the Barack Obama Show.

Lost’s final season premieres on ABC-TV on February 2 and it was rumored that the President would give his State of the Union address on the same night. The address, of course, would have pre-empted the Lost premiere and caused ABC-TV to reschedule what would have been a ratings bonanza.

The President has since backed off and rescheduled his speech to tomorrow night, but it would be understandable if you have trouble telling the difference between a program called Lost and the Obama administration.

So here’s a handy guide to help you tell which of the two programs you’re watching.

1. On Lost, there’s a black cloud in the jungle. In Barack Obama’s America, there’s a black cloud over the economy.
2. On Lost, the plane crashed because all the systems failed. In Barack Obama’s America, the plane stayed in the air because “all the systems worked.”
3. On Lost, everyone depends on Jack, a medical doctor, for their healthcare. In Barack Obama’s America, doctors won’t get paid jack for healthcare.
4. On Lost, the survivors are taxed to the limits of their physical endurance. In Barack Obama’s America, everyone will soon be taxed to the limits of their fiscal endurance.
5. On Lost, everyone works hard to survive. In Barack Obama’s America, 10% of the people are unemployed.
6. On Lost, Jack became the leader by demonstrating his intelligence and strength of character. In Barack Obama’s America, the President became our leader by demonstrating his ability to smile and use a Teleprompter.
7. On Lost, everyone picks on Hurley, the fat guy. In Barack Obama’s America, transfats and salt are outlawed so no one will ever have to suffer the humiliation and degradation of being overweight, unhealthy and picked on again.
8. On Lost, everyone wants to be rescued, but no one ever is. In Barack Obama’s America, everyone wants to be rescued, but the banks and auto companies are the only ones who actually get rescued.
9. On Lost, the evil villains are called “The Others.” In Barack Obama’s America, they’re called “The Tea-Baggers.”
10. On Lost, there’s a mysterious hidden, underground medical laboratory. In Barack Obama’s America, healthcare negotiations are mysterious and hidden underground.
11. BONUS: On Lost, no one quite understands where they are or how they got there. In Barack Obama’s America, well, ok, no real difference there.

Tagged as: Barack Obama, Lost, State of the Union

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