Tony Bennett would like assault weapons eliminated. Yeah, we’ll we’d like bad toupees eliminated. We have a little difficulty taking seriously a man who wears a dead raccoon on his head. Sing, Tony. Otherwise shut the hell up.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Bonfire of the Absurdities February 9, 2013 at 9:34 am

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Another member of the “Let’s do something even if it’s stupid because being for it makes me feel good” coalition heard from.

How about doing something about the effing economy and JOBS which people who aren’t flatulent old multi-millionaire celebrities that wear hairpieces care more about than “demanding a stupid MF PLAN to advance your pet cause”?

sa_rose February 12, 2013 at 1:51 am

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And I suppose the Mafia wold be the first to turn theirs in, no questions adked. Right?

PsychoDad February 9, 2013 at 9:57 am

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How ’bout a plan to eliminate has-been, never-more-than-second-fiddle-third-runner-up-to-Sinatra, night club singers?

sa_rose February 12, 2013 at 1:52 am

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I like Tony. He IS a great singer, or at least was. He just needs to remmember that being asinger doesn’t make him an authority on practivally anything except his own music.

CO2Insanity February 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

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I left my brain……in San Francisco….

ooddballz February 9, 2013 at 11:49 am

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Another washed up has been trying to be relevant.

Ruben February 9, 2013 at 12:28 pm

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Another old man who has lost testosterone, lost his courage and lost his way.

J.P. Travis February 9, 2013 at 12:36 pm

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Probably wants his mob connections to be the only people with guns.

deepthinker February 9, 2013 at 5:17 pm

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My thinking exactly.

MDLION February 9, 2013 at 3:29 pm

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When an older man has a toupee, it should be thin and light-colored. Bennett has the color right but it’s too thick. It looks so stupid when an older man has a toupee that looks like the hair of a twenty-year-old boy. I believe there was a Senator from up east a few years back whose toupee looked like a dead raccoon had fallen out of a tree and landed on his head. The Ohio congressman who went to jail also had a stupid looking toupee.

editor February 9, 2013 at 4:51 pm

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Just saw William Shatner doing his one-man show a couple weeks ago. After sporting a really horrible rug for so many years, he finally has one that looks natural. But the guy is 80 years old and I don’t think he’d lose any fans if he showed up without the rug.

Alien February 9, 2013 at 5:55 pm

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Is that worth seeing? I forgot he was doing a show. One of my favorite entertainers ever. I still lull myself off to sleep, some nights, with old Star Trek reruns via Netflix

editor February 9, 2013 at 6:09 pm

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The tickets were $90 bucks each, it was sold out, and I would imagine that most people went away a bit disappointed. All six in our group were. We expected him to tell lots of inside stories about Star Trek and TJ Hooker and Boston Legal. He barely touched on them, talking instead about how he became an actor, his early life, his love of horses, etc. I’m not saying it was bad, just that it wasn’t what any of us expected. There were lots of laughs and he was over the top in the way that only Bill Shatner can be, but we didn’t get what we went for. That may be our problem, not his.

Sidekick February 9, 2013 at 5:06 pm

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You guys sure that’s a piece? :D

editor February 9, 2013 at 6:11 pm

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Google some old photos of Tony. If that’s not a toupee, he’s the only man in history who’s gained hair as he aged.

Sidekick February 9, 2013 at 6:23 pm

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Yeah, I know. It was sarcasm.

editor February 9, 2013 at 6:55 pm

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I assumed it was. You’re too bright to think that’s real hair.

CO2Insanity February 9, 2013 at 7:01 pm

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Look at the way he sweats all the time. My cousins husband used to wear one. He was a hot sweaty mess. Plus he used some kind of glue that would run down his face when it was hot. We used to ask him what kind of roadkill it was.

He finally wised up, shaved his head. So now we call him Kojak. (Yes we’re merciless bastards)

poppajoe49 February 10, 2013 at 5:25 am

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Hey Tony, how about you retire gracefully, lose the rug, go to the nursing home, have someone change your Depends, and STFU.

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