Top 15 Little-Known Facts About Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Female Bodyguards

by editor on March 1, 2011

It’s no secret that Muammar Gaddafi is nuttier than the proverbial fruitcake. The way he dresses and the things he says just aren’t what anyone would call normal. And while lots of world leaders find themselves surrounded by beautiful women, Gaddafi puts his in uniform and calls them his Virgin Bodyguard Squad.

IHateTheMedia.com’s team of crack reporters ferreted out these fifteen little known and undoubtedly untrue facts about the Virgin Bodyguards:

gaddafis-virgin-bodyguards

Muammar Gaddafi's vaunted Virgin Bodyguard Squad

15. The captain of the squad is solely responsible for the grooming and trimming of Muammar’s ’70s-era porn actor ‘stache.

14. Turn-over is rapid in the Virgin Bodyguard Squad, especially after those late-night drinking binges at Muammar’s palace.

13. Last year, a group of Virgin Assassins attempted to kill Gaddafi, but the Virgin Bodyguard Squad gave each assassin an atomic wedgie, defusing the hostile situation.

12. One of the oldest members of the Virgin Bodyguards was tossed out of the squad recently when it was discovered that she was a virgin because she was just really ugly.

11. All Virgin Bodyguard Squad members must complete rigorous training in Jiu-Jitsu, Tang Soo Do, Judo and lap dancing.

10. When the squad’s religious leader is selected each year, she must personally prove to Gaddafi that she’s ready to assume the missionary position.

gaddafi virgin bodyguards

Is Muammar Gaddafi crazy? Hmmmm. We're not so sure.

9. Particularly good virgin bodyguards are kept on the team even after being labeled “virgin-ish.”

8. The phrase “Look at the bazookas on that one” has multiple meanings in Gaddafi’s inner circle.

7. The prize for winning Guard of the Month is two nights with Muammar (the losers get three nights).

6. Transsexuals DO have a place in Islam!

5. The mandatory midnight pillow fights frequently end up in the E.R.

4. Rule #28 of the Guard Code requires that each virgin must have the ability to touch her nose with her tongue.

3. Those aren’t DD breasts, it’s body armor :-(

2. During a recent Scrabble game, the Virgins discovered a previously-unknown 15th way to spell “Gaddafi.”

And the number one little known fact about Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Bodyguard Squad:

1. They are ALL liars.

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

nuke March 1, 2011 at 3:58 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 14 Thumb down 3

It’s good to be the king, er… dictator.

Big Al March 1, 2011 at 5:35 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 17 Thumb down 2

It sounds like Bunga Bunga with Colonel Whacko Jacko at NeverReality Ranch.

Dave March 1, 2011 at 12:08 pm

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….still laughing

KimmyQueen March 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm

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That was hilarious!

Ray March 1, 2011 at 6:06 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

With an old reprobate like Gaddafi around, how long do you think they remained virgins?

Co2 Insanity March 1, 2011 at 6:50 am

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Libya’s version of Hugh Hefner. Maybe Hugh will let him move into the Playboy Manson for while. They can share the Viagra.

JustAl March 1, 2011 at 8:07 am

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Can you imagine the party he and Kim could have had if he’d taken a state visit to N. Korea???

Wes March 1, 2011 at 8:14 am

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I gotta be honest… if I was the leader of a country, I’d probably have a Virgin Bodyguard Squad too.

perlcat March 1, 2011 at 8:31 am

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Yeah, but the missus will never go for it.

hisham March 1, 2011 at 9:30 am

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“Yeah, but the missus will never go for it.”

Say something really vile and stupid, invite a presidential fly-over, that’ll take care of the missus…problem solved. Take it away Wes!

whiskeyriver March 2, 2011 at 7:14 pm

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I gotta agree with Wes. The bonus is I ain’t got a missus to worry about!

DeanH March 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

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Yup. I concur. I thought the exact same thing while getting my magnifying glass to check a little closer on that virgin in the middle of the last pic. Then I noticed rule 6 right there next to the pic and sort of startled for a second… Nah. Couldn’t be, well, maybe. Damn it!

Teri Davis Newman March 2, 2011 at 4:59 am

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

I can’t fault Wes for wanting a Virgin Bodyguard squad–what man wouldn’t–and I salute him for admitting it. LOL

KimmyQueen March 2, 2011 at 10:35 am

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I hear you. I would have no problems with virginal good looking buff young men to protect me, however seeing how the world operates I would say it will be impossible for that to be a reality even if I was rich and/or important enough to want a virgin good looking man squad.

I sincerely doubt that if they are virgins when they get there, they stay virgins for very long.

perlcat March 2, 2011 at 7:26 pm

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Actually, no thanks. Me, I prefer people that I can relate to.

There’s too much of a premium on inexperience, and not enough of a premium on character.

Grammar Fuhrer March 1, 2011 at 11:09 am

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This guy makes Kim Jong Il look sane.

ihatecnn March 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm

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I don’t know if I’d go THAT far.

LOL March 1, 2011 at 11:38 am

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“Q”; guess how many guy’s are thinking – ” just how ‘crazy’ would i have to be? – would i still be ‘sane’ enough to enjoy it? – would i live long enough to enjoy it? – ”would i have to be as ‘cruel/nasty’ too, or – could i be really ‘nice’ and keep the job? [ about being able to 'exchange' places with Gaddafi - so as, to have the 'virgin female bodyguards' at their beck and call ]

RoadWarrior March 21, 2011 at 8:16 am

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Did I see Michelle in there? Couldn’t be. She was the ugly one. Jeremiah Wright brought her back to Chicago after his visit.

Ishmael March 31, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 0 Thumb down 4

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Sidekick March 31, 2012 at 12:11 pm

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Boy, I’d really like to address that threat directly. Too bad.

FormerlyDeanH March 31, 2012 at 12:42 pm

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It will be short devils then?

KimmyQueen March 31, 2012 at 12:43 pm

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LOL

KimmyQueen March 31, 2012 at 12:42 pm

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Right back at ya boyo…

PsychoDad March 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

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HAHAHAHAHA!!

لا إله إلا الله, وأن المسيحيين هو النبي محمد بين الشيطان

Mohammed, Piss Be Upon him.

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