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U.S. Olympian leads secret life as $600-an-hour Vegas call girl. Little known fact: when a 1500-meter runner gives you a lap dance, it lasts about a minute and ten seconds.

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Neo-7 December 21, 2012 at 6:54 pm

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I guess on multiple levels , she knows how to go the distance .

JPTravis December 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

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Give her credit – it can’t be easy for a middle-distance runner to switch to pole vault.

poppajoe49 December 22, 2012 at 5:19 am

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(GROAN)

JPTravis December 22, 2012 at 9:41 am

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On a positive note, pole vaulters are way more fun. They’re always running into the bar.

Alien December 21, 2012 at 7:14 pm

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I wonder how many have managed to score with an Olympian, in history. I can appreciate there’d be a market for it.

Sidekick December 21, 2012 at 8:14 pm

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$600.00

JPTravis December 21, 2012 at 9:10 pm

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Quite a few actually, but most of them scored with Greg Louganis.

RobertW December 21, 2012 at 7:59 pm

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ho ho ho

danybhoy December 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm

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44 years old & to have that body…yay!

flashingscotsman December 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

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Yeah, she’s got a GREAT body. But $600? I didn’t want to buy it, just rent it.

deepthinker December 22, 2012 at 7:25 am

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The song by Nickleback comes to mine. The honey with the million dollar body. Its over budget but you will pay her just to touch it.

She threw away that lucrative Disney deal too. What is ironic, Disney has same sex benefits and host gay pride day, so why are they canceling her deal? She is providing a service, an expensive one but still a service and she could boost their attendance.

DefHarryMelon December 23, 2012 at 6:20 am

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Well, Disney’s gay related support doesn’t extend to things like gay orgy day or gay sex parades, at least, I don’t think they do. She’s a hooker. They must have some theme park for her somewhere. Perhaps she should sue them for not having one, some adults only lube lagoon or some such.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 6:35 am

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They must have some theme park for her somewhere.

Moonlight Bunny Ranch?

deepthinker December 23, 2012 at 8:08 am

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We are a demented bunch are we not :)

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 8:17 am
flashingscotsman December 23, 2012 at 10:26 am

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I’m a demented bunch all by myself.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 11:05 am

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Then you and me together ought to be quite a problem for the left!

flashingscotsman December 24, 2012 at 10:09 am

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I give it my best.

poppajoe49 December 22, 2012 at 5:28 am

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Sounds to me like someone that was hungry for attention. She often told “clients” who she really was, and said she thought they wouldn’t tell anyone. I think she really wanted someone to break the story, either to get headlines, or as a way out of the life.

ooddballz December 22, 2012 at 5:34 am

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Well, at least she ain’t a CHEAP whore.

flashingscotsman December 22, 2012 at 9:31 am

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^

Progressive Hemrrhoid December 22, 2012 at 6:33 am

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Interesting, notice how she started her escort career after she started taking Zoloft. I’ve heard that stuff is some evil crap.

YankeeBubba December 22, 2012 at 7:31 am

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Guess what happens in Vegas *doesn’t* always stay in Vegas.

As a U.W. graduate/Madistan resident, I saw her inducted to the U.W. Athletic Hall of Fame at Camp Randall. She was wearing a little red dress that looked like it was packed by the hands of God himself!

YOWZA!!!

Trickie December 22, 2012 at 8:08 am

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That’s kinda high for someone who prefers to finish first

poppajoe49 December 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

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Apparantly, she never did. She never got an Olympic Medal.

JPTravis December 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm

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That’s why she’s not getting $1000/hr.

Trickie December 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm

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She would have to do the broad jump for that kind of money

JPTravis December 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm

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You do realize she doesn’t have a javelin, right?

flashingscotsman December 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

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In her profession, I’m sure she’s jumped a few broads, too.

CO2Insanity December 23, 2012 at 11:07 am

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Don’t forget the pole vault.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 11:15 am

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You know women like to wag their tongue.

flashingscotsman December 24, 2012 at 10:16 am

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I need video, or it didn’t happen.

editor December 23, 2012 at 6:14 am

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Oh, my god, Mrs Editor and I are sitting here laughing out loud at the comments on this story. You guys are hilarious. Juvenile, but hilarious (which, come to think of it, is pretty much the mission statement for IHTM.)

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 6:34 am

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Thank you, we try.
If we make you happy, that is just wonderful!

JPTravis December 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

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Probably not an appropriate thread for saying you want to make the editor happy.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 10:18 am

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LOL JP.

Trickie December 23, 2012 at 9:24 am

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If it keeps you from crying

flashingscotsman December 23, 2012 at 10:28 am

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Hey, we can’t spend ALL our time pointing out liberal hypocrisy, can we?

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 11:16 am

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There’s enough of it to keep an army busy for their lifetime!

flashingscotsman December 24, 2012 at 10:17 am

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Extend arm, point finger. Move arm up and down slowly, as you rotate 360 degrees, repeat.

danybhoy December 23, 2012 at 6:34 am

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“What Do You Do For Money”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnwi9Swe_IU

You’re working in bars
Riding in cars
Never gonna give it for free
Your apartment with a view
On the finest avenue
Looking at your beat on the street
You’re always pushing, shoving
Satisfied with nothing
You bitch, you must be getting old
So stop your love on the road
All your digging for gold
You make me wonder
Yes I wonder, I wonder
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Where you get your kicks?
You’re loving on the take
And you’re always on the make
Squeezing all the blood out of men
They’re all standing in a queue
Just to spend the night with you
It’s business as usual again
You’re always grabbin’, stabbin’
Trying to get it back in
But girl you must be getting slow
So stop your love on the road
All your digging for gold
You make me wonder
Yes I wonder, yes I wonder
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Yeah, whaddya do for money honey, how you get your kicks?
Whaddya do for money honey, how you get your licks?
Go
Yeow
Honey, whaddya do for money?
I said, Honey, whaddya do for money?
oh ho honey
Oh honey
Whaddya do for money?
What you gonna do
Honey
Oh yeah honey
Whaddya do for money?
What you gonna do?
Aww, what are you gonna do?

sa_rose December 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

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Well I suppose she had to pay for her Olympic training somehow. Besides, until they start publicaly naming and prosecuting Johns, pimps, “boyfriends” etc., I don’t want to hear bitching about women being prostitutes. Generally, its not like the men are there under duress, forced at gunpoint to pay for sex.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 12:43 pm

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She probably needed a gun to keep them away!

JPTravis December 23, 2012 at 2:57 pm

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Maybe this was her Olympic training.

poppajoe49 December 23, 2012 at 7:03 pm

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A MAN IN A FLORIDA SUPERMARKET TRIES TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.

THE VERY YOUNG PRODUCE ASSISTANT TELLS HIM THAT THEY SELL ONLY WHOLE HEADS OF LETTUCE.

THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER.

THE BOY SAYS HE’LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT.

WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER,
‘SOME ASSHOLE WANTS TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.’

AS HE FINISHED HIS SENTENCE, HE TURNED TO FIND THE MAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HIM, SO HE ADDED, ‘AND THIS GENTLEMAN HAS KINDLY OFFERED TO BUY THE OTHER HALF.’

THE MANAGER APPROVED THE DEAL, AND THE MAN WENT ON HIS WAY.
LATER THE MANAGER SAID TO THE BOY, ‘I WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU GOT YOURSELF OUT OF THAT SITUATION EARLIER.
WE LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK ON THEIR FEET HERE. WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SON?’

‘ GREEN BAY , WISCONSIN , SIR,’ THE BOY REPLIED.

‘WELL, WHY DID YOU LEAVE GREEN BAY?’ THE MANAGER ASKED.

THE BOY SAID, ‘SIR, THERE’S NOTHING BUT WHORES AND FOOTBALL PLAYERS UP THERE.’

‘REALLY?’ SAID THE MANAGER. ‘MY WIFE IS FROM GREEN BAY .’

‘NO SHIT?’ REPLIED THE BOY. ‘WHAT POSITION DID SHE PLAY ?’

I’m guessing she was a wide receiver.