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OLDER: The Barack Obama Art Gallery: Celebrating the unprecedented powers of The One
NEWER: Announcing the winner of the ObamaCare art contest. Seriously.
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Weekend Caption Contest #4 - The Obama-rama: More Obama’s popping up everywhere
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
“The average American dong is this big. Why do you Orientals have such small wackers?”
“Yes, Master Hu, your plan was perfect. The destruction of America is almost complete!”
This is how big the United States will be after I trade you land for debt.
I can get the money for you. I just need more time.
Hu: “Yes. I’m listening.”
BO: “Please. I’m begging you. I uhhhh…. ummmm… You’ve got to understand … I can’t find my teleprompter and I don’t know what to say.”
—-
The body language on this shot is simply amazing… that is the epitome of strength vs. weakness. The mighty have truly fallen. God save us. (and I don’t mean BO)
No, I did not call you Chinese fried rice. I said you’re very nice.
“You see, I’ve been getting a lot of guff about it, lately, so this is as low as I can bow down to you…”
2012? Wellllll, maybe a snowballs chance…
Collateral?
I’m not sure Nancy would agree to that.
I wish to sell you flowers at wholesale. Because you own our debt, I will be happy to take payment in any other currency.
Tsk, tsk, tsk – Such a babe in the woods. What must those Americans have been thinking! Does he really think I’m listening, or that I care?
“My time means money, How much did you say this time Hussein?”….
I’ve had a bad week, I think I will join Tiger for Cereal and Cartoons when this is all over.
As part of his continuing effort to repair U.S. foreign relations, President Obama offers a personal shoe shine to every world leader unhappy with decisions made by the previous administration.
Put your bare arms out grasshopper. I shall now put red hot pot on your forearms to test your resolve. Confusious say burn of iron always remind one of interest payment from Treasury! Give me the Doughs or you no get de girs joe!
Honest, I knew konechewa is Japanese, I was joking, really, HONEST, its just that all of you orientals look so similar, I mean Asians, I mean seriously, you guys are like a billion little clones man. It was an honest mistake. Wait, you are from China right? That is where they make all the fireworks? I like the ones that spin around-what are those called? Jumping Jacks?? yeah yeah, those are my favorites-and I love sushi! What? Japan-got you again! Seriously, I know sushi is from Japan.
Seriously though, when you guys invade, leave the mansion in Hyde park alone, and I will sell you Millenium Park now, and Wrigley Field, Soldier Field, and O’Hare-we get to keep Midway, cause it is so close to Hyde Park-I can get out of town quick when they come with the pitchforks. You gotta give me, the wife and kids a 3 day head-start too. none of this sneak attack shit like Atilla The Hun used to do, okay?
“I know you don’t believe a word I say, and I know I don’t understand a thing about your culture (heck, I don’t even understand American culture), but, don’t you agree that I sound great just saying it?”
c’mon you bowed lower than that when you met the easter bunny.
“I’ll have you know, Mr. Hu, these are the skilled hands of a trained proctologist. Just ask Senator Frank, Rahm, or the average American voter.”
“When I first met Michelle her ass was this big, but now…”
Wen- Call me Maoc Daddy! You’re my ho! That’s right you’re gonna pay me back bitch! Come closer! Bend down! Look at my dick!Tell me how big I am! Open that pretty mouth!
Obitchma- Yes my Imperial master. Me love you long time.
“Wanna see me kill that fly with my bare hands?”
unzip it…i swear it is this long.
Hey, buddy! Can you spare a dime?
“So let me get this straight. You can beat the 3900 dollars Pelosi spends on flowers for her office by 10%, with these babies?”
Don’t worry about getting paid, I’m thinking Utah would be a good down payment, the conservative bastards! You know my real problem is Fox News!
“Seen any shoulder pads that are…uh…about…uh…this much bigger than Tom Brady’s?”
“Chairman Hu, explain to me, again, how can I ‘clean up’ 50 Million Enemies of the People?”
and
“what’s the best nation in the world? DOnation, got a nickel?”
or
“why-y-y somebody, since I’ve been a beggar, nickel dime whatever. Thats all I neeee-eeeed. Let me be THE ONE or at least Mao Ze Tung Two-uuuu. Cuz I wanna be a Commie, too-uuu.”
Topical: This is how for we have left to go for healthcare.
Humorous: Two Asians walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it coming.
Dirty: See how politely I look away when I have your hips in my hands like this?
Peeved: I am just trying to see the teleprompter! What idiot put it on the damned floor?
Obvious: Just checking for change down here – we need all the help we can get.
Question: What do you think of us paying you back just this much? No, really, come on, we need a break or my reelection is in trouble.
Climate related: I made a snowball this big. I swear, did you see that storm in DC?
“C’mon, Hu, look at these soft, unblemished hands. You can tell I’ve never done any real work but sure I fooled those idiots back home. Ha ha!”
I don’t understand that weird, five-toned language of yours but I am going to force the Dept. of Education to implement mandarin lessons for the upcoming generation. Because, thanks to me, you have bought and paid for them.
“After I destroy the United States could it be possible to emigrate to Japan?”
Collateral? Yeah, I guess I could let you hold onto this antique document the Americans call “The Constitution”, its not worth much to me, but they seem to value it a lot. Changes? No, I haven’t changed it at all, I just kind of work “around” it.
Hu, seriously, I’ll get the money for you tomorrow. My guys are printing it as fast as they can, and what they can’t print I am collecting from the middle class, but that will take a little while longer. Please, just don’t send your guys out to break my teleprompter!
Well, Hu, its like “Mad Libs” sort of – wherever there should be an adjective I say “unprecedented” and wherever there should be a noun, I say “Crisis”, and the next thing you know, bam! another trillion dollars goes into my account!
For all my smooth talking, Michelle was expecting something more like this the first time we made love. She soon realized the only thing BIG on me was my Government.
or
… and there, in this small village in Kenya, a Bright Star appeared on the Horizon …
Sorry, but it’s hard to bow sitting down.
Just stand up and turn around. I’ll give you a big wet one on your hip pocket.
Have you ever noticed how hard it is to kowtow from a sitting position?
It’s rock, paper, scissors: Mr. President not patty cake. Show me some money, smile and tell me, I am your sugar daddy.. x(!)
I love the flag Mr. Chairman. Does it come in blue with a single star?
Please I just want you to like me…thats all I want is for everyone to like me….don’t you get it?
“I am sorry I didnt bow to you while I did bow to the Japanese Emperor”
“look, even I get boarded sometimes, you think I had a choice? but I got a nice easy charter I’ll pay you back, plus a little extra, I just need a little more time.”
“Help a Brother out! I am new to this whole suppressing Democracy thing… You guys have been going it for quite sometime. So I bias and censor the media, spy on citizens and dissents, have a large and corrupt bureaucracy, but when is it ‘go time’ for the out right jailing and torturing of those who oppose me?”
or
“Look, if I had known that Jackie Chan was based out of Hong Kong and is not on the mainland that much I would have just bypassed this whole tax payer funded autograph seeking trip all together. Since I am here lets make the most of it: How much of what is left of the USA would you like to buy? It won’t be worth much by the time I get done dismantling it, but I will give you a hell of a good price! Pennies on the Dollar and the promise that generations of Americans in debt from my wasteful actions who will work most of their lives to try and pay that debt off can be yours. Its a good buy I tell you…”
or
“Listen, to some people giving you the DVD of Michael Cimino’s Year of the Dragon may be totally tasteless. But its a R1 DVD and won’t even play over here on your DVD player! Don’t be so offended! It was totally Michelle’s idea… Look, to make it up to you I will go back and cripple the USA economy some more so even more Americans lose their jobs and homes. Will that square us?”
BTW Year of the Dragon is a damn fine film. I mention it since many liberals piss on it for its very non political correct look at Asians. Its a gangster film however so its hard to portray crime lords as being warn and fuzzy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_of_the_Dragon_%28film%29
Look Hu, I think it was supposed to be a hip metaphor. The next time a speech writer slips “Everybody Wang Chung tonight” onto my teleprompter I will just ignore it and read on.