Woman, 51, ‘smothers lover to death with her breasts during drunken row in caravan.’ Now it’s ‘assault hooters.’ Looks like 38 Specials to us.

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Not so silent January 16, 2013 at 11:20 am

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Are those the actual weapons? AS an L.E.O. I might need a closer examination to look for evidence……just the facts maam……

drb January 16, 2013 at 2:12 pm

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no

Not so silent January 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm

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No they are not the referred to weapons or no I can not investigate?

drb January 16, 2013 at 5:35 pm

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both

flashingscotsman January 16, 2013 at 9:29 pm

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I guess that lets me out.

Not so silent January 17, 2013 at 4:45 pm

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And I was so looking forward to playing detective in silicone valley….

GhostntheMachine January 17, 2013 at 4:47 pm

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Oh man, save that one, perfect. With a straight face would leave them wondering for years… Thanks, and I stole it.

Not so silent January 18, 2013 at 9:33 am

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Your welcome….

sa_rose January 17, 2013 at 7:19 am

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Trust me. Those are NOT the ones that smothered the guy! THOSE hang to her knees.

Bonfire of the Absurdities January 16, 2013 at 11:21 am

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When will Piers begin spittle-flecking about the need for “breast control”?

Joe January 16, 2013 at 11:25 am

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If he starts showing pictures of boobs on his show like he has AR’s he just may get some people to watch.

flashingscotsman January 16, 2013 at 9:32 pm

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Breast control? Here, I’ll hold onto ‘em!

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 7:00 am

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If he starts showing pictures of boobs on his show…..

All he will have is pictures of himself.

Karmaa January 16, 2013 at 11:30 am

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Before you guys get all excited – this model is definitely not the perp. According to the article she is 5’6″ and 14 stone (196 lb.) In other words, her assets are big because she’s fat all over. Not that some people don’t like that, but the silicone babe in the pic is not the killer. Just sayin’

CO2Insanity January 16, 2013 at 11:33 am

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So you’re saying they were 44 magnums….

GhostntheMachine January 16, 2013 at 1:26 pm

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I was gonna say, that pic looked like the Special Collector’s DD edition of the 38s to me.

Joe January 16, 2013 at 6:25 pm

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She also has pearl love handles.

Not so silent January 16, 2013 at 11:33 am

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I had to ask, inquiring minds want to know……

Joe January 16, 2013 at 11:41 am

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The silicone babe in the pic is killing me.

GhostntheMachine January 16, 2013 at 1:27 pm

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Me too, softly… killing me softly.

OK Rose, Darby, Barb et al, pile on. We’re used to it.

drb January 16, 2013 at 2:19 pm

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Wouldn’t do me any good to pile on, I ain’t got enough boobage to do any damage… ‘cept people might laugh themselves to death if I tried…though I might have enough to be able to close off one nostril so watch out…you’ve been warned. KQ on the other hand might be deadly.

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 7:01 am

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AH! I’m in love!

Karmaa January 17, 2013 at 7:32 am

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I’m in your camp, lol. Although if I cross my arms and push them up, I can get what looks like cleavage. Looking down. It works for Glamour Shots, anyway!! :)

sa_rose January 17, 2013 at 7:45 am

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Makeup helps. A little blush wjhere the cleavage SHOULD be creates an illusion. Of course when you turn sideways, its all over, but it works for the photographs!

flashingscotsman January 17, 2013 at 7:59 am

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It’s all about the camera angle and lighting.

Karmaa January 17, 2013 at 8:00 am

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Yeah – my daughter used to watch Ru Paul’s drag race, and some of those guys REALLY did some interesting tricks with makeup! (Don’t hate on me for that – I found the show fascinating!)

flashingscotsman January 17, 2013 at 2:20 pm

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I find illusion fascinating also.

You’d be amazed at what the camera DOESN’T show you in the average photo shoot.

GhostntheMachine January 18, 2013 at 10:54 am

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Yeah, but can it hide my fugly and still take a great portrait of me and the girls?

sa_rose January 17, 2013 at 4:49 pm

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I loved Ru Paul’s drag race. One of the only thing I miss now that I don’t have cable anymore.

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 8:40 pm

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Why do women have to try to change the natural beauty they were born with?
There are many men out here that appreciate you for your natural charms, not the fake enhancements that do nothing for you.

flashingscotsman January 18, 2013 at 8:43 am

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Thank you, Poppa.

drb January 16, 2013 at 2:32 pm

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Yeah, silicone just isn’t very healthy.

flashingscotsman January 16, 2013 at 9:35 pm

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It also doesn’t look good.

GhostntheMachine January 17, 2013 at 11:12 am

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This is going to sound stupid, prolly why I’m not a doctor (though I’ve been know to play one a time or two), but I always wondered why they didn’t use the stuff that was inside Stretch Armstrong. Wouldn’t that have at least been a little more natural? I know, I know>>>>>>
Corner, me, now.

drb January 17, 2013 at 5:17 pm

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actually saline filled ones would be best, more natural look, probably more natural feel though I would not know, as I don’t go around feeling boobs. plus if one ruptures (rare but has happened) the body could absorb it without any harm to the system.

GhostntheMachine January 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm

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Stretch was corn syrup if I remember right, the thing was pliant, resilient, and bounced back… and we’re talking about breast implants, why? LMAO. Sorry Doc, but this just went a little surreal.

perlcat January 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm

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Meh. I never get invited to parties like that anyway.

(not that that’s a bad thing — attending parties like that would prove fatal to me.)

JustAl January 16, 2013 at 11:49 am

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We need a law against assault tatas.

Not so silent January 16, 2013 at 12:12 pm

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In reality we get assaulted by Boobs every day, the idiots in Washington that were voted in by other Boobs who get free silicone and phones and stuff….

Navyvet2 January 16, 2013 at 12:29 pm

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How about we line up the perp with Harry Reid and Ba-wreck. She should be able to quickly smother those two scrawny little assholes.

Jim Stewart January 16, 2013 at 1:52 pm

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New York state is going to have a 15 day waiting period on assault breast implants.

drb January 16, 2013 at 2:34 pm

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and they will require a full psychological evaluation before allowing implant purchases.

flashingscotsman January 16, 2013 at 9:37 pm

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If they did that, nobody would have them.

drb January 17, 2013 at 3:30 am

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‘cept cancer survivors

Karmaa January 17, 2013 at 7:34 am

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Badda-BING!

flashingscotsman January 17, 2013 at 8:01 am

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There IS that. I don’t have a problem with reconstructive surgery, or fixing glaring flaws. But for ordinary women that just want big boobs, I always recommend against it.

Karmaa January 17, 2013 at 8:22 am

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And the WORST thing is how disgusting they look. I always think of giant beige M&M’s sitting on the woman’s chest. You can SEE the shape of the bags of gel inserted under the skin. It’s ridiculous, phoney and (according to my brother, who’s wife has them) they are hard as rocks, and they kill all sensitivity that women have in the area.
Bad bad BAD, Even if I had a mastectomy, I would not get implants. Ever. Ick.

drb January 17, 2013 at 8:32 am

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Even if I had a mastectomy, I would not get implants.

I don’t believe I would either, just don’t see boobs as that important…certainly not anything that would define who I am.

flashingscotsman January 17, 2013 at 2:26 pm

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But at least when a woman has a mastectomy, you can understand the desire to look and feel how she did before.

Personally, the “stripper” models, as I call them, either remind me of basketballs bolted onto a woman, (and I detest basketball), or they remind me of goldfish eyes. The big ones, sticking out to the side. I can’t help it, I laugh when I see them.

Not so silent January 17, 2013 at 4:47 pm

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Goldfish eyes?????? Damn that was funny….

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm

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Like Pam Anderson. She was a sweet, cute, girl, but then she got those damned stripper boobs and became the crew slut of the world.
What a waste.

GhostntheMachine January 17, 2013 at 5:20 pm

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And the scars are hideous, just my two cents ladies, fwiw, yours have the exact # of nerve endings as Dolly Parton’s, so you tell me who gets the benefit of some ‘guy’ worship, and if enhanced?, dead meat. Ok, we got here how?

drb January 17, 2013 at 5:30 pm

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you fellas dragged us here, kickin’ and screamin’

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 9:04 pm

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Not all of us.

flashingscotsman January 18, 2013 at 8:45 am

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Wasn’t me.

PsychoDad January 16, 2013 at 2:48 pm

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If y’all are thinkin it aint a bad way to go, lemme just say I don’t think she looked a whole like THAT.

JPTravis January 16, 2013 at 3:26 pm

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I’m thinking it’s the best way to go I’ve heard of so far… and I’ve been keeping abreast of the various ways.

GhostntheMachine January 16, 2013 at 3:41 pm

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I’m kinda straddling the fence, wondering the best way to be smufficated.

drb January 16, 2013 at 3:51 pm

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smufficated? really? muff? you had to go there, ugh! you’re such a, a, a, er, uhm, well,… man, I guess.

GhostntheMachine January 16, 2013 at 3:54 pm

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Kinda a cross between suffocate and smother. What were you thinking?

drb January 16, 2013 at 4:00 pm

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I plead the fifth…of woodford reserve

GhostntheMachine January 17, 2013 at 3:31 pm

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Ah now I see, got you at straddling, my mistake…

drb January 18, 2013 at 5:24 am

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don’t know whatchu talkin’ ’bout, ghosty.

poppajoe49 January 17, 2013 at 7:03 am

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She was thinking what I was thinking. :-D

Progressive Hemrrhoid January 16, 2013 at 3:41 pm

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I can think of worse ways to go. Better not let the Libtards find out, they might try to tax it.

Kip Hooker January 16, 2013 at 4:08 pm

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Booby traps!

Dan January 16, 2013 at 4:49 pm

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A drop of milk leaves the barrel traveling at over 950 fps…Harness those puppies…let’s hear it for increased assault tatas Regulations!!

flashingscotsman January 16, 2013 at 9:40 pm

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Especially the high capacity ones.

Extirpates January 16, 2013 at 4:56 pm

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There needs to be more experimentation to see if the claimed feat/feet can even be accomplished. With drunkards anything is possible, even if it not reality.

Trickie January 16, 2013 at 6:15 pm

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Breast Friend Forever (o)(o)

drb January 18, 2013 at 5:25 am

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speaking of goldfish eyes…

Joe January 16, 2013 at 6:24 pm

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Lots of comments about this article. I guess a picture of a pretty woman really gets arise out of you guys.

GhostntheMachine January 16, 2013 at 6:28 pm
drb January 17, 2013 at 7:50 am

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meh

sa_rose January 17, 2013 at 7:22 am

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Oh yeah, you are guaranteed puns and a long thread!

MDLION January 17, 2013 at 12:04 pm

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According to the police report, the man’s final words were:”HELP, garble, garble, garble, bubble, ME! garble, muffled sound. …”

perlcat January 17, 2013 at 3:53 pm

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What? Couldn’t hear you over the motorboating sounds.

Joe January 17, 2013 at 9:19 pm

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Is this thread still alive? I guess it’s very titillating. It must very hard for people to stop posting stuff.

flashingscotsman January 18, 2013 at 8:48 am

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Yes, it is.

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