WR has ‘heard’ of Viagra use to gain edge on field. Well, it could explain all the butt-patting on the field. We urge all NFL players to be extra careful and don’t drop the soap in the shower after the game until the investigation is complete.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

JPTravis November 29, 2012 at 3:39 pm

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As a former football player, I can understand how this might help on the field. Football is a rough game. Sometimes you get knocked around a bit and your thoughts get cloudy. You don’t want to take yourself out of the game, but you’re confused. It would be helpful to have some sort of arrow directing you, telling you which way to run, showing you who needs to be tackled, pointing at the opening you need to run through. You know, just until your thoughts clear.

CO2Insanity November 29, 2012 at 3:54 pm

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This could get kinky if the quarterback uses it.

JPTravis November 29, 2012 at 4:17 pm

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Announcer 1: “Weirdest fight I’ve ever seen.”

Announcer 2: “Yeah, after three delay of game penalties in a row, suddenly the center stands up and slugs his own quarterback.”

poppajoe49 November 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

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Oops, errant stylus JP, sorry.

I'm With STUPID November 29, 2012 at 3:58 pm

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I can’t see having a raging mega-boner as being a good thing in any contact sport. I would consider the use of a penis enlarging drug as an obstacle to performance and a distraction.

JPTravis November 29, 2012 at 4:13 pm

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Ah, but misdirection is very important in football. Imagine a play where the running back goes one direction while he points in the opposite direction. They could call it a Modified Statue of Liberty.

Progressive Hemrrhoid November 29, 2012 at 4:32 pm

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So is it still a live play if the receivers knees never touch the ground due to a tripod?

JPTravis November 29, 2012 at 8:37 pm

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John Madden wrote a book titled One Knee Equals Two Feet referring to the fact that a receiver needs two feet inbounds or one knee to score a touchdown. You bring up an interesting point (so to speak). Madden may have to update his book.

Trickie November 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

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No more tight ends =-0

poppajoe49 November 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

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I could see a much higher incidence of injuries if this actually caught on.

JPTravis November 29, 2012 at 8:38 pm

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Well, you know the NFL has that new rule about head injuries…

RedRightBlonde November 30, 2012 at 12:15 am

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!