10 things Satan is behind in addition to the media’s attacks on the Pope

by editor on April 5, 2010

exorcist

It is now be determined that Linda Blair was possessed by the evil spirit of Rahm Emanuel

Here’s a strange story out of the Vatican by the Catholic News Agency:

Noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was ‘prompted by the devil.’

Speaking to News Mediaset in Italy, the 85-year-old exorcist noted that the devil is behind “the recent attacks on Pope Benedict XVI regarding some pedophilia cases.”

Well, we don’t mind telling you that hate the media more than ever now that we know it’s controlled by the devil. We should have suspected this from the very beginning. But we’re on the job now, and as highly-trained religious experts we believe we’ve spotted ten other things that should be blamed directly on the evil power of Beelzebub.

  1. Bart Stupak’s haircut
  2. Guam tipping into the ocean
  3. Obama’s approval numbers going straight to hell
  4. Keith Olbermann’s continued employment
  5. Global warming scientists, who, due to their close proximity to the nether regions, are always a few hundred degrees warmer than the rest of us.
  6. The President’s March Madness bracket
  7. Nancy Pelosi’s plastic surgeon
  8. Barack Obama’s Little League coach, who, under the power of Satan, taught the President to throw like a girl.
  9. The entire cast of Dancing with the Stars. At least we feel like we’ve been condemned to hell for eternity when we watch it.
  10. Vladimir Putin actually controls Satan

Source: Catholics News Agency

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Abigail Hancock
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Abigail Hancock

LOL I just can’t stop laughing about Nancy Pelosi’s plastic surgeon! srsly, we are dying of fun with the whole office of https://writingsguru.com!

MileyHeilman
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MileyHeilman

OMG. This is so funny. I love the point “Bart Stupak’s haircut”. Just the right one. We always make fun of Bart Stupak’s haircut at http://www.customwritingcenter.net and you really made our day))

trinity
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trinity

LMAO!! You guys crack me up! I do love this place.