October 2009

The Onion does such a great job with parodies of real news that it’s sometimes tough to tell which is which.

We’re not sure which moment from this “news” clip we like best: The host describing his “giggly” nephew. Or the little “don’t ask, don’t tell” soldier. Or the kid who wants to be a pastry chef.

Happy Halloween.

Note: if video does not come up, try again later. Youtube is having problems today.

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Reader Comment of the Day

by editor on October 31, 2009

I saw Obama being interviewed by NBC’s Savannah Guthrie. The people who say he’s still campaigning are right. He wants to be both the first black President and the first woman President.

– Ray from OC

Despite his “controversial” views on global warming, Steven Levitt, author of Freakonomics and now the new Superfreakonomics, visits with Jon Stewart and finds a surprisingly warm welcome.

Who’d a thunk it?

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A rough translation of the headline: President Obama thinks this would be a good way to control the media

A rough translation of the headline: "President Obama thinks this would be a good way to control the media"

Earlier this year, Democrat Senator Ben Cardin introduced a bill to help struggling newspapers by allowing them to restructure as nonprofits giving them a boatload of tax breaks. Ahhh, but the French government has one-upped Cardin.

Naturally, the story is reported by the New York Times, which would, of course, be one of the primary beneficiaries if a similar plan were to be adopted in the United States:

Newspapers have tried many things to stave off a seemingly relentless decline in readers. Now France is pushing forward with a novel approach: giving away papers to young readers in an effort to turn them into regular customers.

The government Tuesday detailed plans of a project called “My Free Newspaper,” under which 18- to 24-year-olds will be offered a free, yearlong subscription to a newspaper of their choice.

“Winning back young readers is essential for the financial survival of the press, and for its civic dimension,” the culture minister, Frédéric Mitterrand, said.

The project is one of a number of measures, including direct financial subsidies, announced by the government last winter, after a study of the problems facing the newspaper industry.

About 60 publications are participating in the new project. In addition to papers like Le Monde and Le Figaro, they include a variety of local publications, as well as the Paris-based International Herald Tribune, the global edition of The New York Times. Even L’Équipe, a popular sports daily, is taking part.

Where the hell are the Democrats on this issue? C’mon, man, we want our free newspapers. We already have our free food, free rent, free cars, and free cell phones.

It’s a right. We’re pretty sure it’s in the Constitution. Isn’t that what they meant when they talked about freedom of the press?

Source: Reuters, New York Times

This is one of the funniest speeches we’ve ever seen in the House.

Republican Congressman Steve LaTourette of Ohio joked about the Democrats’ intraparty squabbles and mocked them for crying that “Republicans won’t let us have health care reform.”


Source: Gateway Pundit

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IN case you ever wanted to know what a lunatic looks like, here's a photo of Alex Renton

IN case you ever wanted to know what a lunatic looks like, here's a photo of Alex Renton

Seriously. Alex Renton, a British environmentalist and lunatic – but we repeat ourselves – thinks the world would be better off if American and Australian women had fewer babies so African women can have more of them. And he said it with a straight face.

The worst thing that you or I can do for the planet is to have children. If they behave as the average person in the rich world does now, they will emit some 11 tonnes of CO² every year of their lives. In their turn, they are likely to have more carbon-emitting children who will make an even bigger mess…

In 2050, 95% of the extra population will be poor and the poorer you are, the less carbon you emit. By today’s standards, a cull of Australians or Americans would be at least 60 times as productive as one of Bangladeshis… As Rachel Baird, who works on climate change for Christian Aid, says: “Often in the countries where the birth rate is highest, emissions are so low that they are not even measurable. Look at Burkina Faso.” So why ask them to pay in unborn children for our profligacy…?

But how do you reduce population in countries where women’s rights are already achieved and birth-control methods are freely available? Could children perhaps become part of an adult’s personal carbon allowance? Could you offer rewards: have one child only and you may fly to Florida once a year?

After all, based on current emissions and life expectancy, one less British child would permit some 30 women in sub-Saharan Africa to have a baby and still leave the planet a cleaner place.

This is a great idea, but Alex has just scratched the surface here. Not only will those 30 starving, diseased African children produce fewer emissions each year, but they’ll lead much shorter lives than their American and Australian counterparts, thereby enriching Mother Earth even further.

These people give lunatics a bad name.

Source: Guardian UK

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In news that will surely shock liberals across the fruited plain, Democrats are ignorant.

According to a new Pew Research study, they know far less about political matters than Republicans and Independents.

This, of course, runs contrary to everything you’ve ever read or heard from the liberal media. You are stupid. Too stupid to vote. Possibly too stupid to breathe. You move your lips when you read. If you read at all, that is.

And yet, you know more than Democrats.

Source: Pew Research

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This is shaping up as a very frightening Halloween for Al Gore and his global warming acolytes.

A new Pew poll shows far fewer Americans believe there’s solid evidence that global temperatures are rising. The number has plunged from 71% to only 57% in the last 18 months. Fewer people believe that global warming is due to human activity, too. That number has declined from 47% to just 36%.


On the other hand, a recent Gallup poll indicates that 37% of Americans believe houses can be haunted.


Don’t worry. That scary moaning sound you hear is not coming from a haunted house. It’s just Al Gore curled up in the fetal position over in the corner.

Source: Pew, Gallup via Care2.com


Source: IOwnTheWorld.com

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Lord Stern can have our cheeseburger when he pries if from our cold, dead hands

Lord Stern can have our cheeseburger when he pries if from our cold, dead hands

Uh-oh. Bad news from Great Britain. Meat is killing Mother Earth. Clogging up the old gal’s arteries and slowly but surely cutting off her blood supply.

As the Times UK reports:

Lord Stern of Brentford said: “Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on the world’s resources. A vegetarian diet is better.”

Direct emissions of methane from cows and pigs is a significant source of greenhouse gases. Methane is 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide as a global warming gas.

Lord Stern, the author of the influential 2006 Stern Review on the cost of tackling global warming, said that a successful deal at the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen in December would lead to soaring costs for meat and other foods that generate large quantities of greenhouse gases.

This from Lord Stern, perhaps the most appropriately named man on earth.

Source: Times UK

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Someone said that the best think about cash for clunkers is, now most of the Obama stickers are GONE!

– Hack ‘80s actor Scott Baio


Just two things missing from this photo of Rosie O’Donnell: a double-wide and a six-pack.

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Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly sends correspondent Griff Jenkins to Democratic Congressman Alan Grayson’s office. Grayson doesn’t like it. Not one little bit.

Source: MofoPolitics.com

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NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was on Capitol Hill testifying before the House Judiciary Committee. Republican Congressman Steve King took the opportunity to grill the Commish about the hypocritical treatment Rush Limbaugh received at the hands of the league.

That sound you hear is Ed Schultz whimpering over in the corner.

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Now they’re using sex to sell global warming

by editor on October 29, 2009

The wackos at 350.org are now resorting to skin to try and sell their global warming hoax.

At least know that climate change believers aren’t too bright — the YouTube description of the video says, “We know that not everyone reads the newspapers. So we figured we’d try to get the point across the best way we know how–with clothes, or really, with the lack of clothes.”

Yeah, that’s a brilliant idea. Have hot young models strip to show that the warmer it gets, the fewer clothes we’ll need. These idiots just lost the support of Rachel Maddow, Ellen DeGenerous and Rosie O’Donnell and every man in the world.

We rise as one and say, “More global warming, please.”

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Rocco Landesman likes President Obama. Perhaps a bit too much.

Rocco Landesman likes President Obama. Perhaps a bit too much.

Rocco Landesman.

Who, you may ask, is Rocco Landesman? Well, he’s President Obama’s personally-selected chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts.

Landesman spoke at the 2009 Grantmakers in the Arts Conference and gave this slobbering tribute to his boss:

OK, I’m sure that by now you are all wildly optimistic. Well, maybe not all of you. There might be a couple of you, way in the back, that are saying to yourselves, “That’s all very sweet, very arty, but what does it have to do with the budget of the NEA?”

My answer is pretty simple. There is a new president and a new NEA. The president first. This is the first president that actually writes his own books since Teddy Roosevelt and arguably the first to write them really well since Lincoln. If you accept the premise, and I do, that the United States is the most powerful country in the world, then Barack Obama is the most powerful writer since Julius Caesar. That has to be good for American artists.

Landesman neglected to say President Obama is the most handsome man since Adonis, has the most sculpted body since David, and has the greatest brain since…uhhhh…since Brainiac.

The most remarkable part of this speech is that every word was completely intelligible despite the fact that Landesman’s lips were firmly attached to President Obama’s butt.

Source: Powerline

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Florida Congressman Alan Grayson, who prides himself on being the only Democrat with “guts,” proved once again that Democrats with “brains” are even more elusive.

Speaking of former Vice President Dick Cheney, Grayson said, “I have trouble listening to what [Cheney] says sometimes because of the blood that drips from his teeth while he’s talking. But my response is this: he’s just angry because the president doesn’t shoot old men in the face. But by the way, when he was done speaking, did he just then turn into a bat and fly away?”

We predict the congressman will begin a new career as a standup comedian. And we predict it will begin sometime in late 2010.

Source: Political Ticker

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But President Obama, the polar bears are counting on you!

But President Obama, the polar bears are counting on you!

He didn’t actually say, “The whole damn Copenhagen global warming meeting is a waste of time,” but his actions said it loud and clear.

Here’s how the Times UK tells the story:

President Obama will almost certainly not travel to the Copenhagen climate change summit in December and may instead use his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech to set out US environmental goals, The Times has learnt.

With healthcare reform clogging his domestic agenda and no prospect of a comprehensive climate treaty in Copenhagen, Mr Obama may disappoint campaigners and foreign leaders, including Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband, who have urged him to attend to boost the hopes of a breakthrough.

The White House would not comment on Mr Obama’s travel plans yesterday, but administration officials have said privately that “Oslo is plenty close” — a reference to the Nobel ceremony that falls on December 10, two days into the Copenhagen meeting.

The White House confirmed that the President would be in Oslo to accept the prize, but a source close to the Administration said it was “hard to see the benefit” of his going to Copenhagen if there was no comprehensive deal for him to close or sign. Another expert, who did not want to be named, said he would be “really, really shocked” if Mr Obama went to Copenhagen, adding that European hopes about the power of his Administration to transform the climate change debate in a matter of months bore little relation to reality. The comprehensive climate change treaty that for years has been the goal of the Copenhagen conference was now an “unrealistic” prospect, Yvo de Boer, the UN official guiding the process, said last week.

Please allow us to translate President Obama’s actions into words:

“Hell, man, I’m not going to Copenhagen unless I can claim credit for its success and look like the conquering hero I am in my own mind. This thing’s going down in flames, so maybe I’ll send Hillary.”

Or words to that effect.

Source: Times UK

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What the hell is going on in this photo?

by editor on October 28, 2009


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The guy who follows Alan Grayson around apologizing for his comments has real job security

The guy who follows Alan Grayson around apologizing for his comments has real job security

Pity poor Todd Jurkowski. He’s the guy responsible for following Alan Grayson around with a dictionary trying to figure out what he means and whether or not the Democrat Congressman should apologize.

Apparently calling Linda Robertson, an adviser to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke a whore was a close call on the apology thing. “Let’s be clear about the context,” Todd said. “The attack was on her professional career, not her personal life.”

After originally standing by his comments, Grayson apologized saying, “I did not intend to use a term that is often, and correctly, seen as disrespectful of women.”
Alan Grayson, Linda Robertson,
“She attacked the Congressman and his efforts to promote a Republican bill to audit the Federal Reserve,” Jurkowski said of Robertson. “She actually questioned his understanding of the difference between fiscal and monetary policy. She had the audacity to attack a Congressman who used to be an economist.”

It sounds to us that what Todd really wanted to say was “The bitch had it coming.”

Source: CBS News

– Written by Patrick Michael

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California Assemblyman Tom Ammiano introduced a bill to help the Port of San Francisco with some financing issues. It sailed through both houses of the California legislature with little opposition and went to Governor Schwartzenegger for his signature.

But Arnold had other ideas. He vetoed the bill and sent Ammiano and his fellow legislators a veto letter. Not just an ordinary veto letter, mind you, but an oddly-worded letter with a Da Vinci Code-like message that reveals the Governator’s true feelings.

To decode Arnold’s message, just read down the first letter in each line on the left side of the letter.

While we can’t help but admire Arnold’s sentiment and ingenuity, we long for the likes of Harry Truman, who would have just come out and said what he meant.

Source: SFBG.com

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This video clip has two newsworthy components. First, Valerie Jarrett attacked Fox News while being interviewed on CNN. Second, CNN’s Campbell Brown actually had the integrity to call her on it.

Brown: Do you think Fox News is biased?

Jarrett: Of course they’re biased. (laughs)

Brown: Well, do you also think MSNBC is biased?

Jarrett: Well, you know what? This is…this is the thing. I don’t want to generalize and say Fox is biased or another station is biased. I think what we want to do is to look at it on a case-by-case basis. And when we see a pattern of distorition, were going to be honest about that pattern of distortion.

Brown: But you only see that at Fox News. That’s all that you’ve spoken out about.

Jarrett: That’s actually not true.

Well, yes, Ms. Jarret, that actually is true. Fox is the only network you’ve criticized and the only one you’re likely to criticize. Criticizing MSNBC would be like eating your own young.

Kudos to Campbell Brown. The “are you friggin’ kidding me” look on her face during the interview pretty much says it all.

Source: HotAir.com

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Fox attracts more conservatives. More liberals. More independents. More visitors from other planets. More of everyone.

Fox attracts more conservatives. More liberals. More independents. More visitors from other planets. More of everyone.

A recent quote from Fox host Chris Wallace caught our attention.

“Did you know 61% of the viewers of Fox describe themselves as middle-of-the-road or liberal?” Wallace said. “Given how much bigger the Fox audience is than the other Cable audiences, I’ll bet our 61% is bigger than CNN or MSNBC in total.”

Let’s look at O’Reilly and Olbermann and do a little math and find out if Wallace is correct.

On Thursday, October 22 (a night chosen at random) Bill O’Reilly drew 3,436,000 viewers and Keith Olbermann drew a meager 1,179,000 viewers.

61% of 3,436,000 = 2,095,960.

Well, look at that. Almost twice as many Democrats and independents watch O’Reilly than watch Olbermann.

We’re not sure which stat surprises us most: the fact that more Democrats and independents watch Fox or that there are still a million people who watch Olbermann.

Source: LAradio.com, Media Bistro

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Completely unrelated shot of a hot Norwegian blonde

Completely unrelated shot of a hot Norwegian blonde

One day every year, the Norwegian government reveals the how much each citizen made the previous year.

We realize this sounds like something straight out of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. But it’s real.

AZ Central reports:

It’s the moment nosy Norwegian neighbors have been waiting for–the release of official records showing the annual income and overall wealth of nearly every taxpayer in the Scandinavian country …

Tax authorities in Norway have issued the “skatteliste,” or “tax list,” for 2008 to the media under a law designed to uphold the country’s tradition of transparency …

Defenders of the system say it enhances transparency, deemed essential for an open democracy.

“Isn’t this how a social democracy ought to work, with openness, transparency and social equality as ideals?” columnist Jan Omdahl wrote in the tabloid Dagbladet …

There are plenty of opponents of the list in Norway. A 2007 survey by research group Synovate revealed that only 32 percent of the Norwegian public wanted the tax list published, and 46 percent were against it.

We have a bit of trouble reconciling that fact that 46% of Norwegians oppose the list with Omdahl’s “Isn’t this how a social democracy ought to work?”

Seems to us that if a near majority oppose it, it’s exactly the opposite of how a social democracy should work.

But what the hell do we know about these new-fangled social democracies?

Sourrce: AZ Central

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Racist Afghani students burn President Obama in effigy

Racist Afghani students burn President Obama in effigy

Oh, those irrepressible Afghani university students. They had themselves a grand old time the other day and it wasn’t even homecoming.

As Associated Press reports:

University students play with a burning effigy of the President Barack Obama during a demonstration in front of the Afghan Parliament in Kabul, Afghanistan on Sunday, Oct. 25, 2009. Hundreds of Afghans shouted anti-US, NATO and Afghan government slogans and burned effigy of the President Barack Obama during a rally to protest a rumor that U.S. forces had bombed a mosque and burned a copy of the Muslim holy book, the Quran, in nearby Wardak province in mid-October.

But…but…but he gave a speech in Cairo. He told the Muslim world that we love them. He told them that everything was our fault. He told them his middle name was Hussein.

Quick, Barack, give another speech. They seem to work really well.

Source: Associated Press

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