May 2010

memorial-day-american-idol-cartoon

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The other ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Company, allows John Clarke and Brian Dawes to answer the most important questions about the European and worldwide debt crisis.

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This is a day we won’t soon forget. Because this is the third story we’ve managed to wring out of one Presidential sound bite, an achievement that would make any blogger proud.

“When I woke up this morning and I’m shaving, and Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she says — did you plug the hole yet Daddy?” he said, recounting how often he thinks of the spill, adding, “I grew up in Hawaii, where the ocean is sacred.”

As if there weren’t already enough reasons to compare Barack Obama to the worst president of the 20th century, this quote gives us another one.

It’s more than just a little reminiscent of the moment during the 1980 Presidential debate when Jimmy Carter announced his daughter Amy was now an official White House policy consultant. Amy was 13 years old at the time. Malia will soon be 12. Oh, those precocious energy-conscious Democrat kids.

Anybody know where we can get one of those “Welcome back, Carter” bumper stickers?

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Please prepare our places in the Bloggers Hall of Fame, because we’ve managed to squeeze two stories out of a single presidential sound bite.

“When I woke up this morning and I’m shaving, and Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she says — did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?” he said, recounting how often he thinks of the spill, adding, “I grew up in Hawaii, where the ocean is sacred.”

He was, we assume, referring to his childhood worship of Kanaloa, the Hawaiian god of the ocean.

So relax. It looks like Michelle won’t have to be fitted for a burkah after all. But look for the President to show up to his next press conference in an Aquaman costume.

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Hey, don’t blame us for calling the kids fat and stupid. We’re just repeating what the President and First Lady said.

It’s amazing how this guy – the president, that is – tells the media that his daughters are off limits until he needs to use them as foils in a story meant to capture the media’s collective hearts.

First, during her war on childhood obesity, Michelle announced that the Obama family doctor advised her that the girls are a bit too plump and should lay off the sweets.

Then the President announced that Malia wasn’t studying hard enough and that her grades sucked.

But the President’s latest invocation of his children’s names was inspired by the oil blowout in the Gulf. It’s a bittersweet, but totally unbelievable story of childhood innocence lost.

“When I woke up this morning and I’m shaving, and Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she says — did you plug the hole yet Daddy?” the President said, noting that this is one of the reasons he is consumed by thoughts of the spill.

And then, we imagine, just as the President was wiping the last of the shaving cream off his ruggedly handsome, chiseled face, Malia said, “Daddy, what do you think we should do about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the proliteration of nuclear weapons? And what about that Arizona illegal alien law? Have you instructed the attorney general to fight it in court? And do you think the Greek debt crisis will spill over to the rest of the G-20? Do you, daddy? Do you?”

Yeah, right.

The End.

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Pardon our Sudanese but, “No shit, Sherlock. Where’d you get your first clue?”

The amazing thing is that it’s taken 16 months and numerous unresolved crises for MSNBC host and presidential sycophant Chris Matthews to get over the thrill that goes up his leg whenever he hears Obama speak.

He’s an empty suit, Chris, an empty suit.

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As Andrew Bolt said, “I thought I knew enough English to get by without a translator.”

H/T: Andrew Bolt

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walter-hickel-obituary-times

Former Secretary of the Interior and Alaska governor Wally Hickel is turning over in his grave

The New York Times had to issue a correction – a series of corrections, actually – regarding its obituary on former Secretary of the Interior and Alaskan Governor Walter Hickel. Turns out the Times had more facts wrong than right.

An obituary in some copies on May 9 about Walter J. Hickel, the former governor of Alaska and United States secretary of the interior, included several errors.
Mr. Hickel graduated from Claflin High School in Kansas; he was not a high school dropout.
The 1994 book “The Wit and Wisdom of Wally Hickel” was a collection of quotations from Mr. Hickel, not his autobiography.
After being dismissed as interior secretary and returning to Alaska, he ran for governor four more times, not three.
 And while a federal judge did initially reject an agreement proposed by Governor Hickel to drop all state and federal lawsuits against Exxon in the Valdez oil spill case in exchange for the company’s paying for cleanup and restoration, a revised version of that agreement was later accepted.

A Times story with this many inaccuracies could only have been written by Thomas Friedman. Nice to see that he’s picking up a little work off the editorial page.

H/T: RegretTheError.com

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obama-vacation-grand-canyon

Do not be deceived by appearances. This was not an Obama family vacation at the Grand Canyon. It was a secret meeting of the G-20 to discuss the European debt crisis.

Well, we’re certainly glad that the Washington Post picked up on this story. We know it’s something that’s worried us for months on end.

Trying to schedule a vacation — or even a weekend away — has proven next-to-impossible for the first family; world events keep conspiring to mess up their plans. Their vacation in Hawaii over Christmas was pushed back because of the health-care debate. Two months later the same issue forced the Obamas to cancel a family trip to Indonesia over spring break. And all three of the president’s most recent foreign trips — including voyages to Asia and Copenhagen — have been rearranged or postponed at the last minute.

It should have come as no surprise, then, that soon after the Obamas announced plans to spend a long Memorial Day weekend in Chicago, a massive oil spill that for weeks had been lurking off the Gulf Coast finally made landfall, wiping out birds and fish, mucking up the shoreline and driving round-the-clock cable news coverage.

Obama once again adjusted his schedule, announcing that he will fly to Chicago on Thursday night as planned but then leave Friday morning for a day trip to New Orleans, cutting short his first substantial visit home in more than a year.

The military has a term for developments that wash out plans: OBE, or “overtaken by events.” Few people are more vulnerable to the phenomenon than the commander in chief, whose job description includes expecting the unexpected.

Good lord, man, we are so relieved that the oil spill may be plugged. Now the President can finally escape from Washington, DC and his grueling schedule of basketball games, golf matches and rushed dashes to greasy hamburger joints with the Vice President Biden.

The world is safe once again.

Source: Washington Post

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“Countrywide” Chris Dodd was discussing the Gulf oil spill with Don Imus. As soon as Dodd tried to defend Obama by uttering the words “The last eight years…”, Imus went ballistic.

It went downhill from there.

By the way, we just read the other day that said Imus is now a syndication success story and is carried on more stations than ever. That may be true, but if the show were really successful, wouldn’t it be able to book far better guests than corrupt lame duck senators?

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national guard troops Mexico border

"I'm sending troops to stop illegal aliens" joins "Healthcare will save money" on Obama's list of outrageous lies

President Obama’s promise to put 1,200 new troops on the border is as empty as the national treasury. Turns out those troops won’t be used to stop the flow of illegal aliens.

AFP has a full report on Obama’s empty promise:

US National Guard troops being sent to the Mexican border will be used to stem the flow of guns and drugs across the frontier and not to enforce US immigration laws, the State Department said Wednesday.

The clarification came after the Mexican government urged Washington not to use the additional troops to go after illegal immigrants.

President Barack Obama on Tuesday authorized the deployment of up to 1,200 additional troops to border areas but State Department spokesman Philip Crowley told reporters, “It’s not about immigration.”

He said the move was “fully consistent with our efforts to do our part to stem, you know, violence, to interdict the flow of dangerous people and dangerous goods — drugs, guns, people.”

He said the extra troops would be used to free up civilians engaged in support functions so that law enforcement personnel can be increased along the 2,000-mile-long (3,200 kilometer) border.

How can you explain Obama’s constant kowtowing to the president of a corrupt third world country against the overwhelming opposition of the American people?

Felipe Calderon must have photos of Barack Obama in compromising positions with farm animals. It’s the only possible answer.

Source: AFP

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census-worker-hired-fired-rehired

"You're hired. You're fired. You're rehired." Repeat 20,000,000 times and the unemployment rate goes to zero.

At the rate the Census Bureau is creating jobs, it may singlehandedly wipe out unemployment. Of course, the whole damn thing is as phony as Obama’s birth certificate, but phony seems to trump reality in Washington, DC these days.

The New York Post recounts the phony job count:

Last week, one of the millions of workers hired by Census 2010 to parade around the country counting Americans blew the whistle on some statistical tricks.

The worker, Naomi Cohn, told The Post that she was hired and fired a number of times by Census. Each time she was hired back, it seems, Census was able to report the creation of a new job to the Labor Department. . . .

Each month Census gives Labor a figure on the number of workers it has hired. That figure goes into the closely followed monthly employment report Labor provides. For the past two months the hiring by Census has made up a good portion of the new jobs.

Labor doesn’t check the Census hiring figure or whether the jobs are actually new or recycled. It considers a new job to have been created if someone is hired to work at least one hour a month.

One hour! A month! So, if a worker is terminated after only one hour and another is hired in her place, then a second new job can apparently be reported to Labor.

Do you ever feeling that we’re living in some sort of strange, alternate universe?

Update: James O’Keefe discovers more census fraud

Source: New York Post

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john teresa kerry

Would you like a little ketchup with your hypocrisy?

In case you haven’t yet rushed out to buy this week’s U.S. News, let us sum up John Kerry’s hypocritical comments for you: “We Democrats are doing a dandy job and you’re a hypocritical piece of commoner crap if you don’t appreciate us.”

“We’ve come back,” he says of the nation, Wall Street, and the economy. “This is an amazing resurgence.”

It wasn’t a slam at the Tea Party movement and those upset at Washington as much as a frustration he feels that Congress and the president aren’t getting the credit he thinks they deserve for pulling the country out of a second depression.

“I think there’s a comprehension gap,” said Kerry. His point: While people may not be feeling the benefits of the bailouts and healthcare reform yet, Congress has been working with Obama to right the economic ship. Still, he sounded sympathetic to those kicked around by the economy. “There’s a sense of some things unraveling” to them, said Kerry.

But he said that the D.C.-directed attacks are hypocritical, since many of those attacking Washington spending presumably want to keep their Social Security and Medicare and want Washington to play a big role in the Gulf Oil cleanup. “There’s a huge contradiction on a daily basis,” he said.

Kerry really can’t figure out why the little people are upset. We’re pretty sure he’s thinking, “What’s the big deal? If you can’t find a job, just do what I did – pull yourself up by your bootstraps and marry a rich, recently-widowed heiress.”

Voila! Problem solved.

Source: US News

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illegal aliens

A group of new Democrat voters heading for their neighborhood polling place

The more Obama talks about how wrong the Arizona illegal alien law is, the more people support it. And a lot more.

A CNN/Opinion Research survey has the details:

Forty-one percent of people questioned in the survey say all illegal immigrants currently in the country should be removed, up 15 points from 2008. And 88 percent say more federal law enforcement officials are need along the border with Mexico, up 14 points from four years ago. The poll also indicates that 54 percent back a 700-mile-long fence along the Mexican border, up nine points from 2006.

“Support for more crackdowns on employers who hire illegal immigrants is high and also on the rise, from 58 percent four years ago to 71 percent now,” says CNN Polling Director Keating Holland. “Seven in ten would support a federal ID card that everyone would have to show to an employer.”

Eight in ten also support a program that would allow illegal immigrants already in the U.S. to stay here and apply for legal residency if they had a job and paid back taxes. But only 38 percent say that program should be a higher priority than border security and other get-tough proposals.

“Americans want to crack down on illegal immigrants, but that same anger does not extend to immigrants who are in this country legally,” adds Holland. “Overall, three-quarters say that the number of illegal immigrants should be reduced. But when it comes to legal immigrants, two-thirds say the number in the U.S. should remain the same and a quarter think that number should increase; only 3 percent want to deport all legal immigrants.”

According to the poll, 57 percent support Arizona’s controversial new immigration law, in line with other recent national polls. Only 17 percent say they would participate in a boycott of Arizona as a result of that legislation.

Keep in mind that this poll surveyed adults, not likely voters nor even registered voters. Since those groups always skew more conservative, we can safely assume that the results would be even worse for Obama and the Democrats.

Poetic justice, isn’t it, that as more illegal aliens head north, Democrat poll numbers are headed south.

Source: CNN.com

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toyota-prius-racer

Get your Prius today, because they're going fast!

Timothy Hird is about to become a legend within the Royal Society of Arrogant Prius Owners. Despite his imminent fame, it’s a tragic tale and something we wouldn’t wish on the most liberal of liberals.

Jalopnik.com has the details:

Timothy Hird of Winder, Georgia was so sick of people pushing around hybrid drivers he attempted to race a non-hybrid Honda Civic to “prove how fast his Prius could go.” The stunt landed the beleaguered Prius owner in jail.

It happened last week near Braselton, Georiga when the Prius driver was leaving a Publix supermarket. According to the police report, the driver of the Civic pulled out in front of Hird. This was the last straw for the Prius driver. He sped up to meet the Civic and yelled “Watch this!” at the Civic’s female passenger and started harassing them by tapping on the brakes and blocking their car. Eventually, the Civic driver tried to pass the hybrid and nearly wiped out into a police car.

Both drivers were promptly arrested and charged with reckless driving, though the Prius driver probably would have been happier with a speeding ticket.

The real drama in this situation will occur at next month’s meeting of the Royal Society of Arrogant Prius Owners. Will they shun Hird for wasting our precious oil resources? Or salute him for standing up for the honor of their much-maligned hybrids?

The world awaits the decision.

Source: Jalopnik.com

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David Gergen, appearing with Anderson Cooper on CNN, said, “If our government had fought WWII like the way we’re fighting the oil spill, there’s a good chance many of us would be speaking German today.”

Amazingly, historian Douglas Brinkley doesn’t disagree.

Seig heil, Ubermeister Obama.

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In a leak aimed at creating the perception that President Obama is one tough mother hombre and almost as obvious as the leak in the Gulf, the Commander-in-Chief was said to be angry at British Petroleum’s continued dithering and quoted by unnamed White House insiders as saying, “Plug the damn hole.”

plug the damn hole

So now that BP has followed his instructions and plugged that hole, maybe the President could plug a few others.

“Plug the damn hole.”

illegal-alien-plug-hole

[Click to see the other 5 holes he could plug…]

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CNN puts punk ass nigga on the air

by editor on May 27, 2010

Oh, my. Just try to imagine the frenetic liberal wailing and gnashing of teeth if Fox News had made a mistake like this.

TalkingPointsMemo.com provides the details:

CNN, during a segment this morning about a 103-year-old African-American woman, mistakenly aired a portion of a song that includes the word “nigga.” Realizing the mistake, the anchor apologized soon after.

The segment was about Gladys Flamer, a woman from Pennsylvania who is still driving at 103 years of age. After telling the story, anchor Kyra Phillips said, “Miss Flamer, this shoutout’s for you.”

The audio cut to “Fantastic Voyage” by Coolio — specifically, a part of the song with the words “punk ass nigga” — over footage of the woman climbing into her car.

The chorus of that song begins, “Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage”
About 25 minutes later, Phillips acknowledged the mistake and apologized.

“We aired some music just a few minutes ago and, obviously for those of you who heard it, it was the wrong music that aired. It was a terrible mistake and we’re working very hard to make up for it,” she said.

Obviously, CNN was correct in apologizing for putting this on the air. But what the hell, Larry King’s been on the network for years and they’ve never apologized for him.

Source: Talking Points Memo

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donkey-radical-islam-gaza

The new face of radical Islam

We knew there are a lot of radical Muslim jackasses, but we were shocked to discover that there are also radical Muslim donkeys.

The Jerusalem Post has the deadly donkey details:

A small Syrian-backed terrorist group in Gaza said its activists blew up a donkey cart laden with explosives close to the border with Israel on Tuesday, killing the animal but causing no human casualties.

 Abu Ghassan, spokesman for the terrorist group, said more than 200 kilograms of dynamite were heaped on the animal-drawn cart. He added that the explosives were detonated 60 meters from the concrete security barrier that separates the territory from Israel.

The donkey was killed in the blast, but there were no reports of human casualties.Israeli troops routinely patrol the border, and impoverished Gazans often gather rubble in the area.

The Israeli branch of PETA was twice as angry as usual.

Source: Jerusalem Post

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mount-everest-global-warming-contradictions

Global warming has made climbing Everest so dangerous that a 13-year old can do it

Global warming causes more rain and less rain. Higher temperatures and lower temperatures. And now it even causes contradictory headlines.

On May 22, 2010 MSNBC told us:

13-year-old Californian youngest to top Everest

Yet four days later, on May 26, 2010 the Herald-Sun told us:

Sherpa says climate change is making Everest harder to climb.

But mostly, these headlines tell us that global warming lies have now piled up almost as high as Everest itself.

H/T: Andrew Bolt

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republican senator pat roberts

Racist Republican Senator Pat Roberts can't stop talking about President Obama's skin

We beg your pardon. It appears that the racist Republican senator referring to the thinness of Obama’s skin, not the color. Doesn’t matter. Use of the word “skin” in the same sentence as the word “Obama” is undoubtedly racist.

The Washington Post tells the story of this evil racist confronting The Greatest President In History:

President Obama traveled to Capitol Hill on Tuesday for a rare meeting with Senate Republicans, but the 75-minute session yielded little progress on hot-button topics and left some senators with bruised feelings.

“He needs to take a Valium before he comes in and talks to Republicans,” Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kansas) told reporters. “He’s pretty thin-skinned.”…

“I’ve always found it’s good to be frank. If you have an opportunity to talk to someone, you should talk about what’s on your mind,” Corker told reporters. He questioned “the audacity” of Obama’s asking for Republican help Tuesday after bipartisan talks on financial reform broke down and his landmark health-care bill passed solely on Democratic votes.

“My question is again: How can you reconcile that duplicity? You say that, but then the big issues have been constructed in such a way to absolutely be partisan,” Corker said. “How can you come in on a Tuesday after [the financial bill vote]? . . . It was odd to me.”

“Skin?” the President said. “OK, you be shirts and we’ll be skins and we’ll settle this with a little half court basketball game. But let’s make it fast because I have another vacation scheduled and Michelle will make my life a living hell if we have to delay it.”

Source: Washington Post

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smug-obama

96% disapproval. You call it a lie, we call it a statistic.

There’s an old saying that there are lies, damned lies and statistics. This story will prove it.

According to Rasmussen, “The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Tuesday shows that 24% of the nation’s voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as president. Forty-four percent (44%) Strongly Disapprove.”

Another Rasmussen study said, “Confidence in America’s efforts in the War on Terror has fallen again this month, and, following the unsuccessful terrorist bombing attempt in New York’s Times Square, more voters than ever now believe the nation is not safer today than it was before the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks…. Fifty-two percent (52%) say the country is not safer today, up from 42% a month ago and the highest level measured over the past three years.”

So there you have it. 44% strongly disapprove of President Obama and 52% say the country is not safer today than it was before 9/11. As highly-trained statisticians, we feel quite comfortable saying that 96% of Americans disapprove of Obama and think we’re less safe than we were.

So let’s amend that old line we quoted at the beginning of this story. In the America of 2010, it should probably read, “There are lies, damned lies, and Barack Obama, who is the biggest liar of them all and the American people are finally figuring it out.”

Or something like that.

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bernardine dohrn mugshot

Bernardine Dohrn in happier, bomb-throwing, cop-killing times

Bernardine Dohrn, wife of Obama pal Bill Ayers, damn near killed a woman. And much to everyone’s surprise, there were no bombs involved this time.

ChicagoBreakingNews.com has the latest news on the 60s anti-war activist’s activities:

A woman is suing Bernardine Dohrn, saying the 1960s radical drove into her as she walked home from church.

Maricela Canuto said she was struck by Dohrn’s 2005 Buick LaCrosse as she tried to cross 55th Street at Christiana Avenue around 7:50 p.m. Feb. 28.

Attorney Frank Marino said Canuto suffered a broken pelvis and stayed overnight in a hospital.

“There is a lot of pain and suffering and bills (with that),” Marino said.

Dohrn, a Northwestern University law professor, declined comment Saturday. She’s the wife of Bill Ayers, and the two former members of the Weather Underground spent much of the 1970s on the run.

The radical group was responsible for at least four bombings, one in a Pentagon bathroom. Ayers’ Chicago ties to then-Sen. Barack Obama became an issue in the 2008 presidential campaign.

Canuto is seeking more than $50,000 in damages in the suit filed Friday.

Dohrn should have used the hohrn.

Source: ChicagoBreakingNews.com

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seatac-airport-bumper-sticker

This homemade bumper sticker was spotted in the parking lot at SeaTac International Airport. Pretty much sums it up for a lot of people, doesn’t it?

Source: MichaelMedved.com

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cameron clegg gay namibia

We must be the worst news site in the world. We’re always the last to know.

As Gawker.com reports, “The British press like to make terrible jokes about a potential gay relationship between new Prime Minister David Cameron and his coalition partner, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. This picture placement, in The Namibian newspaper, will not help.”

First it was the Washington Post confusing Barack Obama for Malcolm X. Then it was an NBC affiliate calling President Obama a sex offender. And now this.

We wish the happy couple the very best.

H/T: TheGawker.com

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