June 2010

As our grandmothers used to say, “He’s just resting his eyes.”

C’mon, Senator Franken, this thing’s going to go on for days. And days. And days.

If the woman puts you to sleep with her opening bullshit statement, what’s it going to be like when your colleagues start preening for the TV cameras and Kagan starts droning on with her rehearsed answers?

You might as well bring in a cot and a banky.

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Isn't that the same look Gary Coleman had on his face every time he said, "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

It could happen to anyone. It just plain slipped Patrick Gaspard’s mind. You know, kind of like paying taxes slipped the minds of Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle.

Politico.com has details of the most transparent, but absent-minded administration in history:

President Barack Obama’s political director failed to disclose that he was slated to receive a nearly $40,000 payout from a large labor union while he was working in the White House.

Patrick Gaspard, who served as the political director for the Service Employees International Union local 1199, received $37,071.46 in “carried over leave and vacation” from the union in 2009, but he did not disclose the agreement to receive the payment on his financial disclosure forms filed with the White House.

In a section on his financial disclosure where agreements or arrangements for payment by a former employer must be disclosed, Gaspard checked a box indicating that he had nothing to report.

We must be getting old and the Alzheimer’s must be kicking in, because we can’t remember the last time we forgot receiving $40,000 in severance pay.

Source: Politico.com

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We’d like to say we didn’t see this coming, but a blind man could have seen this coming.

Larry King announced on his website and at the beginning of his show Tuesday night that he’s ending his CNN program before the end of the year.

Here’s King’s website statement:

[Read his statement and our smartass comments…]

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CNBCs Rick Santelli, who is often called the Father of the Tea Party, is at it again. This time he loudly and emphatically and repeatedly says the two little words so many of us want Washington, DC to hear.

“Stop spending! Stop spending! Stop spending!”

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churchill obama inspirational leaders One of the following quotes comes from an inspirational leader. The other comes from a successful community organizer.

“Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’ ”
– Winston Churchill on Germany, June 18, 1940

“I don’t have a crystal ball. I think that right now the debate surrounding Afghanistan is presented as either we get up and leave immediately because there’s no chance at a positive outcome, or we stay basically indefinitely and do quote unquote whatever it takes for as long as it takes.”
– Barack Obama on Afghanistan, June 27, 2010

It’s no wonder Obama returned that bust of Churchill to the British government. He couldn’t stand up to the withering glare it was giving him.

Source: Wall Street Journal

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As a result of this brilliant scheme, Patagonia is being renamed Paintagonia.

This is the bestest scheme to fight global warming ever. Absolutely the bestest.

The Telegraph UK reports the high altitude hijinks:

By painting the mountains, Eduardo Gold hopes to replicate the effect of Andean glaciers, which reflect back sunlight and hence heat back through the atmosphere.

The technique is scientifically plausible and, according to some scientists, may be the only method of lowering global temperatures in a crisis.

“A white surface reflects the sun’s rays back through the atmosphere and into space, in doing so it cools the area around it too,” said the 55-year-old activist. “In effect in creates a micro-climate, so we can say that the cold generates more cold, just as heat generates more heat.”

It is hoped the project will slow the melting of the glaciers.

Four workmen have been given the task of painting three peaks, starting with Peru’s Chalon Sombrero peak, which lies 4,756 metres above sea level.

We know what you’re thinking. “But the paint, the paint. Won’t the paint upset Mother Gaia?” Hell, no. Those crafty Peruvians have thought of everything.

The workers use an environmentally-friendly mix of lime, industrial egg white and water, which is known to have been used since Peru’s colonial times.

When they’re done painting the Andes white, maybe they can begin painting the Gulf of Mexico blue. We suspect it will be equally effective.

H/T: PlanetGore

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afghanistan jihadists blow themselves up

Another 15 jihadists have requisitioned their allotment of virgins

The demand for virgins is considerably higher in Afghanistan than it is in, say, Al Gore’s hotel room. And as long as idiot jihadists keep blowing themselves up with their own bombs, that situation should remain unchanged.

MonstersAndCritics.com has the details on the jihadists’ latest virgin requisition:

15 Islamists, including foreign fighters, have blown themselves up when the bombs they were building detonated prematurely inside an Afghan Mosque.

Eight Arab, five Pakistani and two Afghan militants were killed when bombs they were making exploded prematurely inside a mosque in eastern Afghanistan, the Interior Ministry said Sunday.

The insurgents were assembling bombs in Desi Mosque of Yousifkhela district in the south-eastern province of Paktika on Friday, the ministry said.

Pakika borders the Pakistani town of Wana, where Taliban militants are said to have training bases. Afghan officials have repeatedly blamed Islamabad for not doing enough to clamp down on cross-border infiltration by insurgents.

Got that? They blew themselves up while making bombs in a mosque. But if our troops were to storm that mosque, we would undoubtedly hear the dreary refrain that it was one of the holiest sites in all of Islam.

And holy it would appear to be, at least for those who worship wanton death and destruction.

Source: MonstersAndCritics.com

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Scott Borkin is one lucky man. The owner of the Milwaukee area frozen custard shop who looked Joe Biden in the eye and said, “Lower our taxes” was damn lucky Biden didn’t go all ninja on him.

Borkin obviously forgot President Obama’s warning back in February, 2009, that “Nobody messes with Joe.”

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We’ll miss Senator Robert Byrd. The former grand kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan made it so easy to point out Democrat racial hypocrisy by saying things like, “I’ve seen a lot of white niggers, if you want to use that word…”

Funny thing is, we didn’t see that mentioned in any of the West Virginia senator’s obituaries.

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Euphemism alert: Al Gore needs to have his chakra released

Damn it. That’s what we get for skimming over the police statement made by Al Gore’s masseuse. The Washington Examiner pulled two quotes that we somehow overlooked.

Please allow us to correct that oversight by quoting the Examiner.

Quote #1: Chakra to me, chakra to me, chakra to me

Then, abruptly, the former vice president changed tone. It was “as though he had very suddenly switched personalities,” she recalled and began in a pleading tone, pleading for release of his second chakra there.”

“Chakra,” in Gore’s new-agey jargon, refers to the body’s “energy centers,” which the masseuse interpreted as having a specific meaning. “This was yet another euphemism for sexual activity he was requesting,” she told police, “put cleverly as though it were a spiritual request or something.”

Quote #2: Just suck it up

Finally she got away. Later, she talked to friends, liberals like herself, who advised against telling police. One asked her “to just suck it up; otherwise, the world’s going to be destroyed from global warming.”

Thanks, Mr. Former Vice President. Looks like you not only invented the internet, you invented funny.

Source: Washington Examiner

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Muhammad Cartoon for Pakistan

Will this be enough to get IHateTheMedia.com blocked in Pakistan?

IHateTheMedia.com is not an anti-Islamic site. Not even close. Sure, we occasionally run stories on Islamic extremists and lunacy they engage in around the world, but that’s just reporting reality.

That being said, we would consider it an honor to be monitored and blocked by Pakistan’s Islamic extremists. It would be, perhaps, the highest honor that can be bestowed in the blogosphere.

The Associated Press reports on Pakistan’s preemptory perfidy:

Pakistan will monitor seven major websites, including Google and Yahoo, to block anti-Islamic links and content, an official said Friday. Seventeen lesser-known sites are being blocked outright for alleged blasphemous material.

The moves follow Pakistan’s temporary ban imposed on Facebook in May that drew both praise and condemnation in a country that has long struggled to figure out how strict a version of Islam it should follow.

Both the Facebook ban and the move announced Friday were in response to court orders. The sites to be monitored include those of Yahoo Inc., Google Inc. and its YouTube service, Amazon.com Inc. and MSN, Hotmail and Bing from Microsoft Corp., said Pakistan Telecommunication Authority spokesman Khurram Mehran.

“If any particular link with offensive content appears on these websites, the (link) shall be blocked immediately without disturbing the main website,” Mehran said.

Have we mentioned that Muhammad was a child molester?

Source: Associated Press

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We’re told by the biased left wing media that Obama is one of the finest athletes to have ever resided in the White House. Yet we’ve seen video of old ladies and children making better ceremonial first pitches than the ones Obama’s made.

Here’s England’s Little Lord Fauntleroy, who grew up playing cricket – which has a completely different throwing motion than baseball – making the ceremonial first pitch at Saturday’s Mets game.

For god’s sake, President Obama, if a bloody Limey Prince, who’s probably never thrown a baseball in his life, can fire a heater down the middle, why can’t the finest athlete who’s ever resided in the White House?

H/T: Gateway Pundit

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Paul McCartney wrote some catchy tunes 35 years ago. He’s been knighted. He was the cute Beatle. And that makes him smarter than you. If you don’t believe it, just ask him.

The Sun UK has details of McCartney’s genius:

obama mother mccartney

Separated at birth: Barack Obama's mother and Paul McCartney. Hmmmmm.

… passionate green campaigner Sir Paul McCartney believes the environmental disaster may have a silver lining, with the search for clean, renewable energy now being pushed forward.

The Beatles legend said: “Sadly we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don’t believe in climate warming – like those who don’t believe there was a Holocaust.

This coming from a guy who married a one-legged gold digger who was rumored to be a former call girl and then had to pay her $50,000,000 to go away.

Yeah, sure, Paul, we respect your opinion.

Source: The Sun UK

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Consider this a textbook case of cause and effect.

The cause: Conservative Arizona passes its new anti-illegal alien law.

The effect: Said same illegal aliens immediately pack their bags and move next door to liberal New Mexico.

Surely, the good people of New Mexico, lead by liberal Governor Bill Richardson, will put out the welcome mat at the Arizona border and greet their newest residents at the state line with champagne, confetti and welfare checks.

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al gore current tv ratings

Al Gore gives Current TV's financial condition a big thumbs down

Poor Al Gore. Current TV was supposed to be the vehicle he used to conquer the media. That vehicle has sputtered, stalled, and is now sitting on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck.

The Hollywood Reporter has the tragic television tale:

For much of the past year, Current TV has been quietly undergoing an overhaul that will change just about everything but the struggling channel’s name. Current declined comment for this story.

It’s a revitalization project Gore & Co. embarked on after exhausting a more lucrative possibility: selling the channel. Current’s founding partner, Joel Hyatt, spent much of 2009 shopping the network with a price tag that wildly overestimated the company’s worth, confirmed sources at several conglomerates. Current even had extensive sale talks as far back as 2007 with Google, where Gore serves as a senior advisor.

Now the focus has shifted to fixing Current, perhaps with an eye toward a sale down the road. Last July, Hyatt was replaced as CEO by Mark Rosenthal, the former MTV Networks COO who is rebuilding the channel in the traditional mold Gore avowed to avoid, only to suffer the consequences.

For all the brilliance he has displayed grasping the meteorological dynamics governing the globe, Gore has miscalculated those of a slightly less complex world: the TV business. The radical ambitions he brought to the environment didn’t pan out the same way in cable; the television will not be revolutionized.

Not a good year for the man who was once the next president of the United States. Global warming has been exposed as a fraud. His wife dumped him. His massage therapist spilled the beans on him. And now his cable TV operation has disappointed him.

On the other hand, that’s made it a pretty good year for us.

Source: Hollywood Reporter

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Chinese baby girls are now officially more popular than Obama

A new Gallop poll reports the only – repeat, only – income group in which Obama still scores over 50% approval is those making $24,000 or less per year.

Translation: The takers still like our socialist president, but the makers don’t.

CNS News reports the low down on lower class preferences:

The middle class is abandoning President Barack Obama, according to data released by the Gallup Poll. The only income bracket among which a majority still says they approve of the job he is doing as president are those earning $2,000 per month or less.

During the week of June 7-13, only 46 percent of Americans overall told Gallup they approved of the job Obama is doing as president, tying for the worst week of Obama’s presidency. Two weeks ago, forty-six percent also said they approved of the job Obama is doing, and last week 47 percent said they approved.

But when the president’s approval is separated by incomes groups, it is only the lowest income bracket recorded by Gallup—those who earn less than $2,000 per month—that gives Obama a majority approval rating, with 52 percent saying they approved of the job he is doing as president.

Among those earning $2,000 to $4,999 per month (or $24,000 to $59,988 per year), 46 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing. Among those earning $5,000 to $7,499 per month ($60,000 to $89,988 per year), 44 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing. And among those earning $7,500 or more per month ($90,000 per year or more), the highest income bracket recorded by Gallup, 47 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing.

We conducted an informal poll here at IHateTheMedia.com. Turns out 93% of us like Chinese baby girls. 7% of us like it when Obama plays golf because that means he’s out where he can’t cause any damage.

Source: CNSnews.com

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Back in February, 2009, we posted a story about Neil Young’s new CD and called it the worst CD ever recorded. But New York Times environmental blogger Andrew C. Revkin has just recorded a new song that gives Young some stiff competition.

Revkin, it turns out, is no mere reporter. He is a singer/songwriter extraordinaire. And when we say extraordinaire, we mean shitty.

Read Revkin’s own words from his New York Times Dot Earth blog:

With music in mind, and reflecting on the unrelenting gulf gusher, I’ve decided it’s time for my first musical Dot Earth post. I’ve written a number of posts about music’s role in exploring the human relationship with the environment, but I haven’t sung a post — until now at least.

A few years ago, I wrote a song called “Liberated Carbon,” about humanity’s long love affair with fossil fuels and our climb up what Loren Eiseley once called the heat ladder. The unrelenting leak in the Gulf of Mexico is liberated carbon at its worst.

On Thursday, I stopped by the Bronxville, N.Y., recording studio of my Uncle Wade bandmate Al Hemberger and his brother, Ted, and we recorded a slightly updated version of the song, inserting BP where OPEC once was mentioned.

Unfortunately, Revkin’s fancy, new studio version of the song isn’t embeddable, so if you want to hear it instead of the older, poor quallty video version embedded with this story, you’ll have to go to the source link at the bottom of this story.

Should you choose to listen to neither version, here’s the first verse and chorus just to give you a little flavor of Mr. Revkin’s lyrical stylings:

LIBERATED CARBON (© 2010 Andrew Revkin)
It took a thousand generations for our species to rise.

But gathering and hunting was no way to get by.

We yearned to burn more than dung and sticks.

Then someone came along and said, “Hey, try lighting this.”

He opened up the ground and showed us coal and oil.

He said, “Come liberate some carbon. It’ll make your blood boil.”

Liberated carbon, it’ll spin your wheels.

Liberated carbon it’ll nuke your meals.

Liberated carbon, it’ll turn your night to day.

Come on and liberate some carbon, babe, it’s the American way.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Source: New York Times

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Al Gore denies trying to show the wonders of his hockey stick to a Portland, Oregon massage therapist, whose charges against him are now public in a Portland Police Report. But, Al, you invented the internet, you hang with the techies at Google and Apple, and you didn’t know how easy it was to have your little encounter secretly videotaped?

Yup, we’ve got our hot little hands on the video.

We present to you the exclusive Chinese language video of the Former Next President of the United States’ massage therapy session.

How do you say Not So Happy Ending in Mandarin?

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Joe Biden hit the campaign trail in Wisconsin Friday to campaign with Wisconsin Democrat Senator Russ Feingold. Between appearances, the duo stopped to sweeten their beaks at Kopp’s Frozen Custard in Glendale, Wisconsin.

The garrulous Veep ordered a custard and when he asked the how much he owed, the owner answered, “Nothing, just lower our taxes.”

The chastised Biden turned and walked away without saying a word. First time we’ve ever seen Biden speechless.

A few minutes laer, Biden sought out the manager and said, “If I say something nice, you don’t have to be a smartass.”

Should have stayed speechless, Joe.

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News flash! It’s hot down in the Gulf. Because of that heat, but despite the urgency of the clean-up, OSHA regulations say that clean-up workers can work just ten minutes per hour. We assume they get paid for sitting in the shade and drinking Gatorade the other 50 minutes each hour.

Buck Lee of the Santa Rosa Island Authority revealed this tasty little morsel on Hardball.

Even Chris Matthews was so horrified by this idiotic regulation that he ended the interview by giving Lee the White House phone number so he can ask for help.

Keep dialing, Buck. Bobby Jindal and Haley Barbour have been calling that number for weeks and getting nothing but busy signals.

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Poor, pathetic Ed Schultz. If we were betting men, we’d say he was probably the fat kid who got picked on by bullies every day during recess.

“Gen. McChrystal has put the president of the United States in an untenable position,” the chubby MSNBC host said. “The president either has to fire him or let this culture of insubordination permeate through the ranks of the men and women under his command…”

“So, once again, here’s President Obama,” Schultz continued. “He has to fix yet another problem he inherited from the Bush administration. I want the president to step up, stand up, take charge, and fire this jackass, Gen. McChrystal. Our troops deserve more.”

Uh-oh, here come those playground bullies from Politifact to pick on Ed with the facts:

McChrystal is a career military officer who rose steadily through the ranks from his first day as a second lieutenant in 1976. It’s true that McChrystal served in several senior Army positions during the years that Bush was president, including as commanding general of the Joint Special Operations Command from 2003 to 2006. In Afghanistan during 2001 and 2002, McChrystal was chief of staff of military operations. He also ran commando operations in Iraq, and he served in two positions with the joint staff in Washington.

But there’s a much stronger argument for linking his career to Obama than to Bush.
On May 11, 2009 — less than four months after being sworn in — Obama ousted Gen. David D. McKiernan, the top American commander in Afghanistan, and installed McChrystal. It was widely seen as a deliberate shake-up designed to improve the execution of the long-running war. In announcing the move, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said that ”fresh eyes were needed” and that ”a new approach was probably in our best interest.”

So while McChrystal served in senior positions under Bush, he was specifically tapped by Obama to run the war in Afghanistan. To the extent he’s a “problem,” it seems clear to us that he’s Obama’s problem, not Bush’s.

Damn facts!

Source: Politifact.com

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hugo chavez oliver stone

Hugo Chavez and Oliver Stone: A Hollywood love story

Just when you thought Hugo Chavez had driven the people of Venezuela and the United States apart forever, something happens to bring them back together. In this case, it’s the two people’s intense dislike of Oliver Stone movies.

Variety reports the sad news of Stone’s biggest bomb ever:

Despite a PR and marketing blitz that had Oliver Stone on a whirlwind tour of Latin America, his latest documentary “South of the Border” has sunk like a rock at the Venezuelan box office.

Local observers in Venezuela have reported empty cinemas, indicating a stunning indifference to Stone’s pic, a documentary about South American leaders that devotes a hefty amount of screen time to the country’s President Hugo Chavez. In the 12 days after its June 4 debut, it grossed only $18,601 on 20 screens, according to Global Rentrak. Showings on mobile screens in rural areas (where Chavez has more popular support) have attracted crowds, but these screenings are free.

$18,601? That won’t even cover the corpulent Stone’s room service bill at the Caracas Hilton.

Source: Variety.com

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A little marking advice: Avoid the temptation to call it WangWear.

We’ve been in several situations where a lack of underwear could have cost us our lives, but now a scientist has invented underwear that could actually save your life.

Discovery.com reports on this remarkable new underwear:

Soon U.S. military personnel may find that wearing underpants could save their lives. Not just any ol’ Hanes or Fruit of the Loom brand — although arguably wearing tighty whities in certain battlefield circumstances might be more prudent than not. However, what I’m talking about are briefs that have carbon-based electrodes screenprinted onto the fabric, which acts as a biosensor to measure blood pressure, heart rate and other vital signs.

The innovation comes from nano-engineer Joseph Wang of the University of California, San Diego. In an interview with Reuters Television Wang said:

“This specific project involves monitoring the injury of soldiers during battlefield surgery and the goal is to develop minimally invasive sensors that can locate, in the field, and identify the type of injury.”

And even beyond this, the waistband could contain medication, such as a pain-relief drug, that it could release in the presence of certain injuries.

Underwear invented by a guy named Wang. We are amused.

H/T: HotAir.com

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Much like our enemies, a common housefly fly has learned that President Obama is all talk, no action.

The New York Times reports the latest inside insect information:

During an event on Tuesday in the East Room of the White House to promote his new health care law, Mr. Obama was repeatedly pestered by the fly. He swatted away at it, to no avail.

“Get out of here,’’ the president instructed the fly, provoking laughter from the audience. He added, “You’ve seen me grab one of those before.’’

Indeed, it was only the latest fly-swatting incident at the White House. During an interview a year ago with our colleague John Harwood of The Times and CNBC, Mr. Obama ordered a fly to “get out of here” and ultimately killed the insect, drawing the ire of animal rights activists.

And that’s the latest buzz on President Obama.

(We are now accepting congratulations from our readers on the admirable and unexpected restraint we’ve shown by avoiding any use of the term “Like flies on shit.”)

Source: New York Times

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obama nungesser jindal

Billy Nungesser and Bobby Jindal give President Obama their "rot in hell" glares

President Obama and his cronies are about as popular as the oil slick in Louisiana these days.

Fox8Live.com has the details:

Plaquemines parish president Billy Nungesser is furious, drawing a line in the sand with the White House!

The Obama Administration has asked for a halt on dredging sand berms off the Chandeleur Islands that just started last week, until the project can be relocated farther into the gulf. Nungesser fired off a letter threatening President Obama to step in and do something or face a tongue lashing on national T.V.

“Dammit, it took us long enough to get the permit now they are going to throw rocks at us. They all need to rot in hell for this.”

Nungesser has been the face of the sand berm project, now he’s red faced over the order for U.S. Wildlife and Fisheries.

“Some brilliant individual said we think a mile out is not enough. It may scowl the island or it may subside. So, let’s shut it down.”

Don’t be in such a hurry, Billy. Before these guys begin rotting in hell, let them spend a few more months in public opinion poll purgatory.

Sources: Fox8Live.com

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