July 2010

russian-spy-sexy

Back in the U.S., back in the U.S., back in the U.S.S.R, Don't know how lucky you are

Russian exports are known to make a man weak in the knees: vodka, brides, and now spies.

First, they caught Anna Chapman in New York and sent her back to Russia in a “spy swap exchange.” And now yet another beautiful spy has made her way onto the U.S. scene. This time let’s take a look before we decide to send her back.

The National Review reported:

Anna Fermanova, 24, who lives near Dallas, was apprehended after attempting to take state-of-the-art night-vision scopes and other restricted items to Russia.

The items were confiscated when she attempted to board a flight to Moscow earlier this year. She was arrested when returning to America this month.

As they say in Russian, “Va-va-voomski.”

If other countries insist on sending spies like this, maybe we shouldn’t be quite so quick to strengthen border security after all.

Written by guest author

Source: National Review

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Unf#¢k the Gulf. That’s what the public service campaign is called.

It’s supposed to be cool. Supposed to be edgy. Supposed to be really smart because they’re giving $5 from the sale of each T-shirt to charity and they let you vote on which charity.

But what it really is, is just shock for the sake of shock. Our bet? They don’t sell 1000 shirts.

WARNING: Objectionable language, objectionable use of children using objectionable language, objectionable people of every size, shape and color.

Source: Adweek

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Ahhh, yes. Remember those dark days before President Obama was elected?

Back when race was the only thing on everyone’s mind? Back when it was the only thing discussed on the nightly news? Back when we had an attorney general who called us a nation of race cowards? Back when we had a president who fired poor black women without cause? Back when…

alfred-e-obama-mad-magazine

Giving credit where credit is due: Mad Magazine called this one correctly

Oh, wait. We just woke up from the strangest dream.

Bobby Ewing was in the shower and  CNN ran this story about President Obama promising that the country would look at itself differently the day he gets inaugurated:

Editor’s Note: The following story appeared on the CNN Political Ticker on July 27, 2007.

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama says the nation will look at itself differently the day he is inaugurated as America’s first black president.

Obama was addressing the National Urban League Convention’s presidential forum in St. Louis when he was asked what he could do to stop racial polarization in the U.S. Holding up his hand like he was taking the oath, the Illinois senator said, “The day I’m inaugurated, the country looks at itself differently. And don’t underestimate that power. Don’t underestimate that transformation.”

He told the crowd that endless high-minded discussions weren’t the answer to the problem. He said, “Here’s what I won’t do, because we do this all the time. I’m not going to set up a commission, and I’m not going to have a conversation, because we set those up with a lot of fanfare and there’s not any follow-up.”

This story needs no punch line. It’s all just too funny on its own.

H/T: Reader DJ

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dave weigel

Attacking conservatives will always guarantee you a job in the mainstream media

So what happens to the conservative blogger for a major mainstream media outlet when he gets fired for attacking the conservatives he’s supposed to cover?

Gawker.com has the unsurprising details:

Dave Weigel, the smart young blogger canned by the Washington Post for saying mean things about Matt Drudge in personal emails, is joining Slate as a political reporter. Fun fact: Slate is owned by the Washington Post Company.

Got that? “Fired” by the mainstream liberal media outlet for attacking conservatives. Wink, wink. Then immediately hired by another branch of the same mainstream liberal media outlet.

If you’re buying that story, we have a stimulus program we’d like to sell you.

Source: Gawker.com

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obama shirtless

Swoon, Chuck Todd, swoon! Here's a life-size Barack Obama poster from this month's issue of Obama Beat!

We didn’t read Teen Beat magazine, but our teenage sisters never missed an issue. We’re still traumatized by the thought of them swooning over life-sized photos of Fabian and Herman’s Hermits.

In that regard MSNBC’s First Read is exactly like Teen Beat. Take, for example, the following “story” from NBC’s Chuck Todd, Mark Murray, Domenico Montanaro, and Ali Weinberg:

Minimize and move on:

The past 30 days have thrown more distractions at the Obama White House and the Democratic Party — Gen. McChrystal’s firing, the furor over Robert Gibbs’ factual remark that the House is in play, the Shirley Sherrod story, and now Charlie Rangel’s new ethics woes. But what we’ve begun to notice is that Team Obama has become MUCH better at dealing with these distractions. They haven’t figured out how to prevent distractions. (What White House can?). But they are getting better at minimizing the damage and then moving on. In fact, despite all the week’s distractions, the White House racked up some important wins. Signing the financial legislation into law. Seeing the unemployment benefits finally pass Congress. And getting Elena Kagan one step closer to become the nation’s next Supreme Court justice. Yes, the White House still can’t stay on message, but they’re showing they’re more nimble in dealing with distractions. Will they ever get to focus two straight weeks on the economy? It hasn’t happened yet.

We’re glad we stumbled across this little jewel of journalistic excellence, otherwise we may have mistakenly believed that the most transparent administration ever best deals with distractions by pretending that they, much like voter dissatisfaction, simply don’t exist.

And aren’t you sad that that groovy President Obama can’t seem to get a break to work on the nasty old economy and jobs? The poor man can’t even get two whole weeks to focus his marvelous, magical, laser vision on them.

We were disappointed, as we’re sure you were, that the MSNBC story did not include a life-sized photo of the best-looking President ever.

Chuck Todd needs another one for his bedroom wall.

Source: MSNBC

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Had a conservative called African-Americans “mongrels”, there wouldn’t be a font size large enough for the headlines that would have run in the mainstream media. Think Pearl Harbor multiplied by Man Lands On Moon. The headline in the New York Times would have taken up the whole front page.

pearl-harbor-headline

This is a small headline compared to what would run if a conservative had called African-Americans "mongrels"

But when President Obama said it on The View, the mainstream media just nodded and winked. Witness the following story from The Hill:

President Obama waded into the national race debate in an unlikely setting and with an unusual choice of words: telling daytime talk show hosts that African-Americans are “sort of a mongrel people.”

The president appeared on ABC’s morning talk show “The View” Thursday, where he talked about the forced resignation of Agriculture Department official Shirley Sherrod, his experience with race and his roots.

When asked about his background, which includes a black father and white mother, Obama said of African-Americans: “We are sort of a mongrel people.”

“I mean we’re all kinds of mixed up,” Obama said. “That’s actually true of white people as well, but we just know more about it.”

What a wonderfully post-racial thing to say. It is a good thing that Saint President Obama has transcended all racism now so that remarks like this are no longer offensive.

Unless a Republican were to say it, in which case it would be time to break out the giant fonts again.

Source: The Hill

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We actually wish this was a joke, but it’s not.

On July 19, President Obama called in the media to promote the Democrats’ latest extension of unemployment benefits. To help make his point, he brought in one of his patented human props, a Florida woman named Leslie Macko, who has been out of work for more than a year now.

Cue the gnashing of teeth and let the Democrat wailing begin. “Oh, poor Leslie Macko. We must do something for the Leslie Mackos of the world.”

“We need to extend unemployment compensation benefits for women like Leslie Macko, who lost her job at a fitness center last year, and has been looking for work ever since,” the President ominously intoned. “Because she’s eligible for only a few more weeks of unemployment, she’s doing what she never thought she’d have to do. Not at this point, anyway. She’s turning to her father for financial support.”

Unfortunately, no one at the White House bothered to research why Leslie Macko was unemployed. They should have.

Turns out Macko was canned from her job as an esthetician after being was convicted of prescription drug fraud.

Just like these clowns should all be canned for Hope and Change fraud.

Source: Hot Air

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san francisco vegetarian day

"It wasn't me, the dog did it" has now been replaced by "It wasn't me, Gavin Newsome did it."

San Francisco, a city long known for its fruits and nuts, has declared every Monday as Vegetarian Day.

PublicCEO.com has the meat of the story:

A resolution was passed in San Francisco declaring every Monday as “Vegetarian Day” to urge restaurants, grocery stores, and schools to offer plant based options for residents.

The 2009 report from World Bank environmental advisers, Goodland and Anhang, called “Livestock and Climate Change,” reveals that farmed animals and their byproducts are responsible for at least 32.6 billion tons of carbon dioxide per year, or 51 percent of annual worldwide greenhouse gas emissions.

Goodland and Anhang stated that replacing animal products with soy-based and other alternatives would be the best strategy for reversing climate change.

We checked with StraightDope.com, an authority that seemed appropriate in a story about San Francisco. It said, “The problem is the body’s inability to fully digest the complex carbohydrates so abundant in the vegetarian diet and the consequent excessive production of gases such as hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane.”

In other words, eat like a cow, fart like a cow.

Therefore, San Francisco’s theory that it can reduce greenhouse gasses by putting humans on a vegetarian diet to reduce the number of cows in the world is self-defeating. They’ll merely replace farting cows with farting humans.

And in the future, San Francisco’s politicians will be full of hot air and its citizens will be full of gas.

Source: PublicCEO.com, StraightDope.com

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To say that Chris Matthews is wrong on virtually every issue is to state the obvious. But last night the Hardball host nailed the court decision against Arizona’s illegal alien law. Absolutely nailed it.

Matthews: Let me finish tonight with this federal injunction against the new Arizona immigration law. First of all, it is a killer issue politically for the Democrats this fall and a huge windfall for the Right. It will anger even those people who believe the Arizona law went too far. It will dramatize the main case raised by the Tea Party people, that the federal government in Washington has become too powerful, that the rights of states have been terribly abridged. That is the political consequence and it will be felt mightily this November.

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This one is worthy of a Perry Mason novel. Call it The Case of the Missing Oil.

ABC News questions the missing lubricant’s location:

missing oil in gulf

There's a huge Gulf (of Mexico) between the environmentalists' predictions and reality

For 86 days, oil spewed into the Gulf of Mexico from BP’s damaged well, dumping some 200 million gallons of crude into sensitive ecosystems. BP and the federal government have amassed an army to clean the oil up, but there’s one problem — they’re having trouble finding it.

At its peak last month, the oil slick was the size of Kansas, but it has been rapidly shrinking, now down to the size of New Hampshire.

Why before long, it will be down to the size of Barack Obama’s ego.

Today, ABC News surveyed a marsh area and found none, and even on a flight out to the rig site Sunday with the Coast Guard, there was no oil to be seen.

“That oil is somewhere. It didn’t just disappear,” said Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser.

Salvador Cepriano is one of the men searching for crude. Cepriano, a shrimper, has been laying out boom with his boat, but he’s found that there’s no oil to catch.

“I think it is underneath the water. It’s in between the bottom and the top of the water,” Cepriano said.

First it was ClimateGate, then Al Gore’s hotel room escapade with an unwilling masseuse, and now they can’t find any oil to back up their claim that this is the worst disaster in the history of mankind.

It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for the environmentalists. (No angry emails, please. Note that we said “almost”.)

Source: ABC News

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Neil Cavuto rattles of a list of reasons that people don’t trust President Obama anymore. Which leads to our explanation of one of the major differences between conservatives and liberals.

Conservatives say, “His numbers are dropping because we don’t trust him anymore.”

Liberals say, “We don’t trust him anymore because his poll numbers are dropping.”

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We received this video in an email from one of our readers who said, “My idiot liberal sister sent this to me.”

The End of Poverty is a documentary that came out in 2009. According to imdb.com, the total domestic box office for this piece of crappola was – are you rady – a laughably low $57,805. Hell, they could have done that much business if the gals from Code Pink had decided to take in a matinee between protests. It took in so little money that The End of Poverty may have been the beginning of poverty for whoever financed it.

Let us sum if up for you briefly: Poverty is Wall Street’s fault. It’s Washington’s fault. It’s America’s fault. It’s capitalism’s fault. All that plus Martin Sheen as the narrator.

How did this dog not win a raft of Academy Awards? It has everything Hollywood wants to see, but nothing the American people want to see. And that combo is usually good for an Oscar or three.

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Sad, sad news from Algeria. Forty al-Qaeda terrorists died slow, painful deaths earlier this month when they were infected by the black plague they were trying to turn into a biological weapon.

The Telegraph UK has the ironic, bubonic news:

black plague al qaeda

This is the black plague? We thought Jesse Jackson was the black plague.

It was initially believed that they could have caught the disease through fleas on rats attracted by poor living conditions in their forest hideout.

But there are now claims the cell was developing the disease as a weapon to use against western cities.

Experts said that the group was developing chemical and biological weapons.

Dr Igor Khrupinov, a biological weapons expert at Georgia University, told The Sun: “Al-Qaeda is known to experiment with biological weapons. And this group has direct communication with other cells around the world.

“Contagious diseases, like ebola and anthrax, occur in northern Africa. It makes sense that people are trying to use them against Western governments.”

It’s only fair, you might say, that people who want to live in the 14th century should die of a 14th century disease.

Source: Telegraph UK

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As far as we’re concerned, “environmental justice” is what you’d call it if Al Gore froze to death while speaking about global warming. But that’s not the way the EPA looks at it.

CNSnews.com has the story:

EPA environmental justice

The Minority, Low-Income, Non-English Speaking and Indigenous Population Casino, where the drinks are watered down, but the environmental justice isn't.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has released a 55-page “guidance” to help its employees “advance environmental justice” for low-income and minority communities.

“Achieving environmental justice is an Agency priority and should be factored into every decision,” the document says.

You may ask yourself the obvious question that we asked ourselves: What the hell is environmental justice?

The EPA defines environmental justice as the “fair treatment and meaningful involvement of all people, particularly minority, low-income, and indigenous populations, and tribes, in the development, implementation, and enforcement of environmental laws, regulations, and policies.” 
 


The guide states that from now on — in the process of developing rules, policy statements, risk assessments, and other regulatory actions — EPA managers and staffers must first ask themselves, “Does this action involve a topic that is likely to be of particular interest to or have particular impact upon minority, low-income, or indigenous populations, or tribes?”
 


If the answer is yes, the rule-writers must reach out to the affected minority and/or low-income communities. One section of the guide explains how EPA rule-writers may have to make “special efforts” to connect with people who may be uneducated or non-English-speaking.

Far as we can tell, that means environmental justice is served when the indigenous populations build indigenous population casinos.

Hit me, dealer. And power to the indigenous population!

Source: CNSnews.com

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Opponents of Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law huffed and puffed and threatened to use the power of a boycott to put the state out of business.

Back to the drawing board, boys, because your boycott is a flop. Bookings of Arizona hotels across the state are actually up since the controversial law was passed.

boycott arizona

Well, that was a waste of a good sheet, wasn't it?

Fox News reports the details:

“Fundamentally, the boycotts have been unsuccessful,” said Barry Broome, president of the Greater Phoenix Economic Council.

The data from hotel industry research firm STR showed that for the state of Arizona, hotel occupancy was up 5.7 percent in May and up 8.3 percent in June compared with the same time a year ago.

In Phoenix, occupancy was up 10.6 percent in June; in Scottsdale, it was up 10.7 percent for the same period. Revenue also was up, with Arizona hotels raking in $148 million last month — up more than 11 percent from a year ago.

Broome said the state also has been able to attract new businesses to locate in Arizona despite bad publicity. He said his group plans to announce 2,000 to 3,000 new jobs thanks to investment from California, where Arizona boycotts are in place in several major cities, over the next few months.

“Business continues,” said Garrick Taylor, spokesman with the Arizona Chamber of Commerce and Industry.

Sadly, it looks like the boycott business has gone belly up.

Source: Fox News

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We’re not big Jon Stewart fans. We just find him about half as funny as he finds himself (but what the hell, he probably doesn’t find us all that amusing, either).

That being said, the host of the Daily Show occasionally says something even a committed conservative finds funny. Like this clip where he analyzes all the screw-ups in the Shirley Sherrod Sideshow.

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As a member of the House of Representatives, Barney Frank is forced to scrape by on a mere $174,000 annual salary. So it’s no wonder he’s so interested in saving a buck here and there.

The New York Post reports the New York pout:

barney frank ferry senior discount

Barney Frank is very disappointed that he didn't get his senior discount

Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank caused a scene when he demanded a $1 senior discount on his ferry fare to Fire Island’s popular gay haunt, The Pines, last Friday. Frank was turned down by ticket clerks at the dock in Sayville because he didn’t have the required Suffolk County Senior Citizens ID. A witness reports, “Frank made such a drama over the senior rate that I contemplated offering him the dollar to cool down the situation.” Frank made news last year when he was spotted looking uncomfortable around a bevy of topless, well-built men at the Pines Annual Ascension Beach Party. Frank’s spokesperson confirmed to Page Six that his partner, James Ready, asked the ticket office for a regular ticket for himself and a senior ticket for Frank, “but was turned down because Frank didn’t have a resident ID.”

We are so damn proud of ourselves. A story involving Barney Frank and a ferry and we didn’t go for the obvious joke.

Source: New York Post

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The son of a candidate for the Florida State House had the bright idea of catching vandals in the act with a camera hidden near some of his father’s campaign signs. The investment paid dividends in a matter of minutes when it nabbed none other than his father’s Republican primary opponent and his wife stealing the signs.

The highlight lowlight? When candidate Greg Brown, obviously a CSI fan, warns his wife, “Wait, your fingerprints are still on the ones laying down.”

What happened to the signs?

“I disposed of them,” Brown said. “Quite honestly, I may have put them in my own trash can at home. I am not completely sure.”

Too bad this guy is a Republican, because he seems to have all the qualifications of a successful Democrat.

H/T: Gawker.com

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obama things could be worse

Things could be worse. We're just not sure how.

We’ve all been there – lost a girlfriend, wife walked out, dog died or some other disaster worthy of its own country & western ballad befalls us and what happens? Some well meaning friend comes along and utters the dreaded words, “Cheer up. Things could be worse.”

Well, imagine that the friend is the Greatest President In History. Actually, you don’t have to imagine, because according to MSNBC’s website:

President Barack Obama, who rocketed to the White House promising “change you can believe in,” is now telling voters they shouldn’t change a thing.

His message for the fall elections, which are looking ominous for his Democrats, is that Republicans caused the nation’s economic troubles, but he and the Democrats are starting to fix them. So stick with the Democrats and don’t go back to the GOP.

The article also states that:

Obama’s stacked up a remarkable, if controversial, string of legislative successes, from last year’s economic stimulus bill to the health care law and now the financial overhaul bill. But his vaunted eloquence on the campaign trail has often seemed to desert him as he’s tried to sell those policies to the public. To the 14.6 million people out of work nothing else much matters anyway.

The above is just a fancy way of saying that he passed this legislation despite the fact that the American people in general soundly reject it.

The amazingly truthful MSNBC story goes on to say:

At the same time, the desire for change that Obama helped ignite is still burning. But this time it may work against him. As Bush recognized shortly before leaving office, calling for change is a luxury denied to incumbents.

So Obama tells voters every chance he gets that things would be a lot worse if not for the stimulus bill and other steps he took. At least the recession never became a depression, the president says.”

Don’t know about you, but we’re waiting for the day when we can honestly say, “Hey, things could be worse. Obama could still be President.”

Source: MSNBC.com

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Ronald Reagan was a friggin’ movie star and he spent less time in front of a camera before he became president than Barack Obama did. Whether it was the previously-discovered photo shoot done at Occidental College (you remember, the photos where he looked like a pimp daddy) or this newly-discovered session from days at Harvard, the man loves to have his photo taken.

He is the one he has been waiting for.

obama harvard law review

obama harvard law review

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Oh, sure, the Melbourne International Film Festival claims they banned L.A. Zombie because it featured “wound penetration” and “sex with corpses”, but we suspect the real reason it was banned was that it was (gasp) Canadian. Or maybe even because it’s a total piece of crap.

Melbourne’s Daily Telegraph has the straight-to-DVD details:

A GAY zombie porn film set in Los Angeles has been banned from screening at the Melbourne International Film Festival – the first film to be banned from the event in seven years, The Age reports.

Australia’s Film Classification Board advised festival director Richard Moore by letter Monday that L.A. Zombie, a film directed by Canadian Bruce LaBruce would be refused classification and could not be screened.

The board asked to see the film after they read a synopsis of the plot, which said it featured wound penetration and implied sex with corpses.

It is the first film to be banned from the festival since Larry Clark’s Ken Park in 2003.

L.A. Zombie follows an alien zombie as he roams the streets of Los Angeles in search of dead people and gay sex – with deceased people being brought back to life via intercourse.

Gay sex from a director named Bruce LaBruce? Who ever would have guessed?

Source: Daily Telegraph

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There’s plenty of competition for the title of Biggest Moron in Congress, but Barbara Boxer seems to be committed to snatching the title in perpetuity.

Now the dimwitted United States senator from California has compared serving in Congress to serving in the military.

“We know that if you have veterans in one place where they can befriend each other and talk to each other. You know when you’ve gone through similar things you need to share it. I don’t care whether you are a policeman or a fireman or a veteran or by chance a member of Congress,” the California senator said. “[Democratic Rep.] Maxine [Waters] and I could look at each other and roll our eyes. We know what we are up against. And it is hard for people who are not there to understand the pressure and the great things that go along with it and the tough things that go along with it.”

Might we point out, Babs, that members of the military have to go through Basic Training, but members of congress need no training whatsoever.

And it shows.

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barack-obama-birthday-cake

We're going to give the President exactly what he wants for his birthday - another pound of flesh

Imagine our surprise when we got this very personal email from the First Lady today:

Dear IHateTheMedia:

Every year, our family tries to come up with a fun way to wish Barack a happy birthday.

And this August 4th, when he turns 49, I have something new in mind.

This has been a big — and hectic — year for him. After signing the Affordable Care Act and Wall Street reform into law — and completing his first year as president — I think it’s safe to say we will remember it for a long time.

And I know full well how much he credits this movement, and the work of supporters like you, for the change that we’ve accomplished.

So I’m putting together a birthday card that I would like you to sign. Together with other Organizing for America supporters — and me, Malia, Sasha, and Bo — we’ll wish him a happy birthday and let him know that we’re ready to take on the year ahead alongside him.

Will you wish Barack a happy birthday with me?

This year also brought a lot of surprises — some good and some bad.

Supporters like you have helped him make the best of it — by contacting Congress to help push stalled legislation forward, by re-engaging supporters in the political process, by giving back with service projects across the country, and so much more.

And while we can’t know what the coming year will bring, all of us, working together, will continue pushing forward for change.

Will you help make this a memorable birthday for Barack and wish him a happy 49th?

http://my.barackobama.com/birthday

Thanks so much,

Michelle Obama

Paid for by Organizing for America, a project of the Democratic National Committee — 430 South Capitol Street SE, Washington, D.C. 20003. This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee.

Please take Michelle up on her request. Go to the birthday website. Leave a personal message for President Obama.

Then copy and paste your birthday greeting into a comment here at IHateTheMedia.com. This should be good for a few laughs.

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Those of you lucky enough not to live in the Regime called “California” probably take a lot of things for granted.

Like state tax rates under 10%, washing your car in the driveway, oh, yeah, and the right to take a camera into a public library to film a public event.

Introducing California 43rd District Assemblyman Mike Gatto, a man of the people. But from the looks of this video, only certain people.

Source: Breitbart.tv

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These are dark days for abortionists in New Jersey. Governor Chris Christie has vetoed a bill that would have given $7.5 million to “family planning” clinics.

“State spending has been reset to levels the taxpayers can afford,” said Christie in a message to New Jersey’s Democrat-dominated legislature. “Supplemental spending that would return to the unchecked spending and out of control budget shortfalls of the past will not make it past the Governor’s desk.”

chris christie planned parenthood

The big man has big cojones

Marie Tasy, executive director of New Jersey Right to Life, applauded Christie’s veto.

“The taxpayers of New Jersey are under no obligation to fund the radical and failed social agenda of Planned Parenthood,’’ she said. “We commend Governor Christie for his steadfast opposition to restoring these funds.”

Christie seems to have sucked the life out of New Jersey’s Democrats, which, considering that we’re talking about abortionists, seems only fair.

H/T: Weasel Zippers

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