December 2010

Happy New Year from IHateTheMedia.com

by editor on December 31, 2010

2010 was one wild, crazy roller coaster of a year. We’re glad to have it behind us. But we’re glad you spent part of it with us.

obama-cat

Obama, the annoying office cat, resolves to be less annoying in 2011

Of course, here at IHateTheMedia.com international headquarters we’ll ring in the new year in our traditional ways.

The Administrator and his gorgeous wife will go out dancing. They’ll see in the new year by crawling home far too late and wondering why they had so much to drink.

The Editor and his beautiful wife will stay home and watch the east coast television feed of the ball dropping in Times Square and be in curled up in bed asleep by 9:30 California time.

Obama, the official IHateTheMedia.com office cat, will celebrate with a can of Fancy Feast tuna and a little catnip.

On New Years Day, the Administrator will wish he hadn’t had quite so much fun, the Editor will wish he’d had a little more, and Obama will wish one of them would scratch him behind the ears.

Have a happy new year. And if you’re going to drink, follow the Administrator’s example and crawl home.

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Megyn Kelly’s hot when she’s hot under the collar: She’s pissed that Obama praised Michael Vick

by editor on December 31, 2010

President Obama called the owner of the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles and thanked him for giving convicted felon Michael Vick a second chance.

That pissed off Megyn Kelly. And she didn’t try to hide it when she spoke to a representative of the NAACP who attempted to defend Vick.

Love you, Megyn. (Please don’t get another restraining order. We promise to stay 100 yards away this time.)

H/T: Breitbart.tv

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Argentina’s version of Dancing With the Stars should be renamed Dancing With the Porn Stars

by editor on December 31, 2010

The Argentinian version of Dancing With the Stars is called Bailando por un Sueño. Our schoolyard Spanish is a little rusty. We thought that translated to Dancing for a Dream. But after watching this clip, we can only come to the conclusion is that it actually means Dancing With The Porn Stars.

Holy friggin’ moly. If this show played in the United States it would have to be on some adults only pay-per-view cable channel.

When the Editor found this clip he showed it to Mrs Editor, no prude, who watched it with her mouth agape, repeatedly saying, “Oh, my god.”

A particularly nice touch, we thought, was the series of excited yelps coming from the show’s voyeur … uhhh …. we mean announcer.

Watch. But be prepared to be shocked at what you see.

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Our favorite stories of 2010, Friday edition

by editor on December 31, 2010

Some would say we save the best for last. Here’s the final chapter of our favorite stories from 2010. These are the ones that got the most comments, most links and most hits.

Thanks for a great 2010. We’re looking forward to causing a lot more mischief in 2011.

Also see:

Our favorite stories of 2010, Monday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Tuesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Wednesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Thursday edition

anchor-babeFox News ratings are rising, so are its anchors’ skirts
We regularly cover the booming ratings at Fox News. Well, pardon us for being slow. We had never noticed how short the skirts are on the Fox News women anchors until someone sent us this video. With the hot TV anchor babes in their short skirts and beautiful legs (In the interest of full disclosure, we should also reveal that we used to buy Playboy just for the articles).

cell-phoneSafelink Wireless: Exposing the free cell phone for the poor scam
Today we ran the story of Michelle Obama serving risotto at the soup kitchen down the street from the White House. She was surrounded by poor people frantically snapping photos with their cell phones. If you’re anything like us you wondered, how can the poor afford cell phones? The monthly bills on these things can eat you alive. Is there a free government cell phone service we didn’t know about?

al-goreAll we did was welcome Al Gore to his new home. Why are people so upset?
We ran an ad in the Montecito Journal, Al’s new hometown newspaper, welcoming the Goracle to the neighborhood. We did it because we’re warmhearted, caring people. So why are we getting all these angry emails?

levi-johnstonWhy are we getting all these angry emails? All we did was endorse Levi Johnston for mayor of Wasilla.
In lieu of making a donation to the Levi Johnston campaign, we did the next best thing: We ran an ad in today’s Wasilla Frontiersman newspaper telling the town’s residents why they should support this All-American Every Boy.

argentina-glacier12 more glaciers that haven’t heard the news about global warming The glaciers are melting! The glaciers are melting! The glaciers are…uhhhhh…never mind. Turns out the IPCC’s chicken little story that all the Himalayan glaciers are melting is just another exaggeration. Or fraud. Take your choice. You know, like the stats coming out of East Anglia CRU. And its claim that Antarctica is melting. And that Greenland’s ice cap is melting. And that sea levels are rising. And that the polar bears are dying. Fact is, some glaciers are retreating, but many others around the world are growing.

earth-day15 spectacularly stupid predictions from the first 
Earth Day
We are just as green as green can be here at IHateTheMedia.com. And to prove it, we’re recycling this story that we ran on Earth Day, 2009. One that goes all the way back to the very first days in the history of Earth Day.

tsa-pinupIHateTheMedia.com presents the 2011 TSA Pin-Up Calendar
This official 2011 TSA Pin-Up calendar features 12 stunning beauties who are sure to stimulate your own personal enhanced pat downs every month. Each month features a new, hot and steamy body scan of one of our favorite flyers.

walmartWhy we endorse Janet Napolitano’s “If you see something, say something” campaign at Walmart
This official 2011 TSA Pin-Up calendar features 12 stunning beauties who are sure to stimulate your own personal enhanced pat downs every month. Each month features a new, hot and steamy body scan of one of the TSA’s favorite flyers.

renée-kohnHot blonde news anchor gives new meaning to the phrase “turkey gobbler”
There was an unfortunate moment the other day on San Diego Living, a TV show on San Diego’s Channel 6. A very unfortunate moment, indeed for Renée Kohn, the show’s co-host.

obama-hurdleIt’s Inexplicable Photo Caption Contest Time
No prizes other than the warm glow of self-satisfaction you’ll get from posting the funniest caption for this damn near inexplicable photo of President Obama

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It was a very bad year: Keith Olbermann’s ratings down by 25% in 2010

by editor on December 31, 2010

There’s nothing that gets us in more of a schadenfreude-ish mood this time of year than finding out that things aren’t going well for Keith Olbermann. And this story has our schadenfreude meter pegged all the way to the right.

PoliticsUSA.com reports the bad news for Olbermann and the good news for us:

keith-olbermann

Keith Olbermann waves good-bye to some of his viewers

The bad news keeps coming for MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann. The 2010 ratings data is starting to trickle in, and the news is not so great for the Countdown host. In a down year for cable news where all three networks registered a decline in viewers, Keith Olbermann lost 11% of his total audience, but what is most troubling is that among the coveted age 25-54 demographic Olbermann lost 25% of his audience.… Keith Olbermann’s total drop in viewership was 2% higher than MSNBC’s network average, (11% vs 9%). In contrast, Rachel Maddow lost less of her audience than MSNBC as a whole. Maddow only declined by 6% compared to the network’s 11%. Maddow’s total loss was almost half of her lead in Olbermann, (6% compared to 11%). Olbermann also lost a higher than network percentage of those viewers age 25-54. MSNBC lost 18%. Olbermann lost 25%. Maddow only lost 14%.

As Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” And as schadenfreude said, “Sometimes a horse’s ass is just a horse’s ass.”

Source: PoliticsUSA.com

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Chris Matthews reality alert: “Hey, you know what? I don’t think Democrats really want to stop illegal immigration”

by editor on December 31, 2010

Liberal Chris Matthews has jumped the liberal reservation again. He’s had a moment of clarity and now says he doesn’t trust Democrats to control illegal immigration.

Mediaite reports:

Declaring he doesn’t trust either party on the immigration issue, Matthews stated “Republicans are BS’ing the country” about any plan to deport all illegal immigrants out of the country, and much more surprisingly, he next targeted Democrats. Calling the Democrats “weak,” Matthews said Democrats won’t say “how they will stop illegal immigration . . . I don’t even think they want to stop it . . . they like it.” Watch out because no one is safe from Matthews, especially not Senator Harry Reid who also gets a special mention as someone who is not serious about doing anything about the illegal immigration problem.

Welcome to our world, Chris. We know you won’t stay long, but it’s always nice to have you visit.

A prediction: Sooner or later, Matthews will make one too many of these un-liberal comments and Olbermann will turn on him.

Can’t wait to see that cat fight.

H/T: Mediaite

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Green Dream Machine: Van Jones admits eco-wackos only pretend we need more regulations

by editor on December 31, 2010

The left says Republicans are the ones who live in the past. Yet they seem to be blithely unaware of developments like cell phone video cameras and YouTube.

How else can you explain Van Jones’ public admission that environmentalists just make all this crap up?

OK, well, there is one other possibility: Van Jones is the second dumbest man alive. (Don’t worry, Van, as long as Joe Biden is still with us you’ll never be the dumbest man alive.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgKr480RYc4

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About those global sea level predictions: Never mind

by editor on December 30, 2010

Al Gore earned the nickname “The Goracle” for his frightening global warming prognostications. Sea levels were supposed to rise and engulf cities and low-lying regions around the world.

Oops. Never mind.

The American Thinker takes a closer look at predictions vs reality:

Gore, Schwarzenegger, and the IPCC made their mark through their dramatic predictions of catastrophic sea level rise due to increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere causing global warming. Gore once predicted that sea levels would rise by twenty feet over the century. Last year, Schwarzenegger unveiled a map showing world sea levels rising by 1.5 meters over the next century. In 2001, the IPCC predicted that sea level would rise by three feet over the next century. Their past predictions and the accurate satellite measurements are shown in the chart below:

sea-level-rise

The actual sea level rise over the last eighteen years is 1.85 inches, which works out to 10.4 inches per century. This is similar to the 20th century’s rise of 8 inches, but much less than the average rise of 4 feet per century for the last 10,000 years as glaciers left by the last ice age continue to melt.

Think of the right hand side of the graph as a cliff in tony Montecito, California. Imagine a lovely estate sitting at the top of that cliff. It belongs to Al Gore.

According to Gore’s predictions, sea levels would suddenly and apocalyptically rise (see the black line) until his hillside estate became ocean front property. Unfortunately for Al, he can still peer over the edge of the abyss and barely see the ocean waaaaaay down there at the bottom of the cliff (see the red line).

Al Gore, real estate genius.

Source: American Thinker

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Introducing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Army Drill Team

by editor on December 30, 2010

The Barney Frank Squadron shows you how it’s done. Or how it will will be done in the future. Because things are going to be different in this man’s army from now on.

Combat boots are out. Knee-high suede Tory Burch Connell Boots are in.

Camouflage is out. Puce is in.

Generals are out. Privates are in.

Care to add any others?

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Our favorite stories of 2010, Thursday edition

by editor on December 30, 2010

IHateTheMedia.com has done thousands of stories in the last year. Some stand out more than others. Like these. Here are ten more of favorites guaranteed to make you ask the question, “Where do they find these people?”

Also see:

Our favorite stories of 2010, Monday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Tuesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Wednesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Friday edition

climate campLetters from Climate Camp
Here I am at Climate Camp 2010 in Australia. Even though it’s summertime and Sydney’s weather is supposed to be like Southern California’s, we’re freezing our asses off because of global climate disruption. Or whatever we’re calling it these days.

world-cupTwelve reasons awarding soccer’s World Cup 2022 to Qatar was a tragic, horrible mistake
There are some things we love about the World Cup – the fans. Especially the female fans. And we just can’t imagine that Qatar, a strict Muslim country, is going to allow the enthusiastic displays of fan support that make the World Cup worth watching.

ewald-stadlerSomeone in Europe gets it: Austrian politician goes off on Turkish ambassador
Ewald Stadler, a member of the Austrian Parliament, clearly sees what political correctness and insurgent Muslim immigrants have done to his country and its culture. Let’s just say he doesn’t like it.

nigel-farageBritish member of European Parliament rants, “Who the hell do you think you are? The Euro game is up!”
The scene is European Parliament in Strasbourg on November 24. Nigel Farage, a member of the European Parliament representing the United Kingdom, is involved in a debate about economic governance when he loses it.

encounter-tsaThe Encounter
“Just relax.” Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily…

effeminate-obamaSissy-in-Chief
The President of the United States, supposedly the most powerful man in the world, flinches like a little girl during a martial arts exhibition. We’re pretty sure Vladimir Putin is laughing out loud.

chris-ericksonVermont’s Senate candidate demonstrates why marijuana shouldn’t be legalized
This may look and sound like a Saturday Night Live skit, but it’s for real. This is Chris Erickson, candidate for the U.S. Senate representing Vermont’s Marijuana Party.

michelle-potatoWednesday morning: Feds announce war on potatoes in child nutrition program. 
Wednesday afternoon: Michelle harvests potatoes with children in White House garden
Michelle Obama and a group of unpaid child laborers harvested crops from the White House plantation. Just hours before the White House harvest, the government came out against potatoes.

obama-tattoo“How can I remove this filthy Obama tattoo?”
Strange as it seems, people got Obama tattoos. One of them speaks for them all: “I’ll admit that I got swept up by the Obama hysteria last year…and that’s why I got his tattoo on my gut. But I have now seen the light…” The tattoos are unbelievable.

rickey-hendonIntroducing Rickey Hendon, the Ebonics Party candidate for Illinois Lieutenant Governor
WTF? Here’s the oddest campaign commercial so far this year. We think it’s in English, but for some strange reason, we only understood about 10% of the words.

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Alan Colmes’ brilliant leftist analysis: “Angry white Americans are the real terrorists”

by editor on December 30, 2010

The Underwear Bomber? An aberration. The Fort Hood shooter? One of a kind. The Times Square Bomber? Fiction.

At least that’s what Fox News lefty Alan Colmes would have you believe.

“The issue,” Colmes said, “is that more of these plots have been hatched by non-Muslims … It’s not just one group. 72 Americans. Angry white Americans. People who are angry at the country who fly planes at the IRS building. People like Tim McVeigh. Angry, white Americans.”

Alan concluded by saying, “I just flew in from Los Angeles. And, boy, are my arms tired. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’ll be here all week.”

H/T: WeaselZippers.us

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One last Christmas story: They’re dreaming of a green Christmas

by editor on December 30, 2010

Let’s take a quick look back at that special time of year when environmentalists gather together to celebrate the birth of Christ Mother Gaia.

green christmas

And who can forget the classic, "Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn green"

The Australian takes a jab at the depressing details of the Gaian gala:

“So as you sit at home in front of a pot plant decorated with energy-saving light bulbs, unpacking second-hand solar-powered battery chargers from recycled newspaper wrappings, just before having a modest vegetarian organic dinner, you will surely feel the very warm inner glow of a morally superior Christmas deep inside you.”

Everybody sing along now:

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas,
I wish it didn’t start to snow.
Now my solar power’s
Been out for hours
And so my Christmas lights won’t glow

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas.
My turbines blades are standing still.
And I’m starting to feel the chill,
So of green I think I’ve had my fill.

Now let’s turn to page 98 of the Van Jones Hymnal. Please join us in singing “Rudolph the Red Knows Rain, Dear.”

– Lyrics by J. Broden

Source: The Australian

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He’s baaaack: George Bush’s memoirs sell as many copies in two months as Bill Clinton’s sold in six years

by editor on December 30, 2010

But … but … but … how could this be? Bill Clinton is the most beloved former President ever and George Bush is despised. Bill Clinton is articulate and George Bush is an ignorant buffoon.

bush book

Decision Points is not only a best seller, it's a better seller than Bill Clinton's memoirs

The Daily Mail reports a rude reality injected into this left wing fantasy:

Former U.S. President George W Bush’s memoir has sold an astonishing two million copies since it was released in early November – and it’s not even in paperback yet.

‘Decision Points’, published both in hardcover and e-book form, is flying off the shelves, the Crown Publishing Group says.

By contrast, former president Bill Clinton’s memoir, ‘My Life’, has logged sales of 2.2million copies since it was first published in 2004.

A spokesman for Crown called the performance remarkable.

He claimed he could not think of any other hardcover nonfiction books in 2010 that had sold even one million copies, much less two.

Why has this book sold so many copies? Well, for once the Democrats are right. It’s Bush’s fault.

Source: Daily Mail UK

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Best theory yet to explain why Obama won’t release his original birth certificate

by editor on December 29, 2010

This is good. This is really good. This is one of those things you hear for the first time and say, “Of course. That has to be the answer.”

barack obama white birth certificate

Suddenly the missing birth certificate all makes sense

We’re not birthers. Sure, we joke around about it, but we think Barack Obama was probably born in Hawaii. Far as we’re concerned, it makes no sense that some grand conspiracy to put him in the White House was put in motion on the day he was born in Kenya.

So if he was born in Hawaii, why doesn’t he release his original birth certificate? Even liberal lunatic Chris Matthews recently said, “Just release the damn thing, Mr. President, and shut up these birthers.”

A caller on Tim Conway, Jr’s radio show on KFI/Los Angeles Tuesday night suggested a simple, but brilliant theory that if true would be far more damaging to Barack Obama than the theory that he was born in Kenya. It goes like this:

Interracial marriage was still frowned upon even in racially-mixed Hawaii back in 1961 when Barack Obama was born.

So the reason – the simple, logical reason – that Obama won’t reveal his original birth certificate is because he is listed as white on that document. Perhaps it was his mother who checked the “White” box on the form. Or maybe the attending physician looked at the new baby, looked at his mother and said, “Baby mama white. Baby must be white” and entered that information.

This is a good one, isn’t it? It’s simple, logical and it explains Obama’s reticence to release the original birth certificate. After all, being officially designated as white would be the most devastating thing that could possibly happen to his political career. The only reason he got elected President is because, as Joe Biden said, “He’s a clean, good-looking, articulate black man.” (Don’t blame us, blame Joe.) The moment he’s seen as white, BAM!, he loses his cachet, his point of difference, his raison d’être in the sun, so to speak.

When Conway’s listener explained this theory, Mrs Editor and I looked at each other and laughed out loud and agreed that it makes so much sense that it may well be true.

By the way, you can catch Tim Conway’s show on the internet or if you’re in Southern California on KFI 640 7 -10 p.m. Monday through Friday.”

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Obama sends “warmest thoughts” for Kwanzaa. What no Scientology? No Festivus?

by editor on December 29, 2010

In all the excitement of the holiday weekend, we must have missed this one. The Obamas issued a special Kwanzaa proclamation on Sunday.

Yes, Kwanzaa, the made-up holiday celebrated by about a dozen black power wackos, is now worthy of a presidential proclamation.

kwanzaa-stamp

Kwanzaa gets a stamp. Can Scientology and Festivus be far behind?

TheBlaze.com reports the politically-correct pandering:

“Michelle and I extend our warmest thoughts and wishes to all those who are celebrating Kwanzaa this holiday season. Today [Dec. 26] is the first of a joyful seven-day celebration of African American culture and heritage,” the couple said in a statement.

The pair went on to say that the spirit of Kwanzaa embodies the values of Americans: “The seven principles of Kwanzaa — unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith — are some of the very values that make us Americans.”

The Obamas issued a similar statement last year marking the African-American holiday. “Michelle and I know the challenges facing many African American families and families in all communities at this time, but we also know the spirit of perseverance and hope that is ever present in the community,” the president said last year.

The celebration, which began in 1966, is a week long and culminates with a feast and gift-giving.

Coming up next: Just to make sure he’s covered all the wacko, made-up holidays, the President will extend Happy L. Ron Hubbard Birthday wishes to all Scientologists on March 13 and will apologize to all Seinfeld fans for not issuing a special Festivus proclamation on December 23.

Source: TheBlaze.com

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Our favorite stories of 2010, Wednesday edition

by editor on December 29, 2010

Also see:

Our favorite stories of 2010, Monday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Tuesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Thursday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Friday edition

janeane-garofalo10 ugly comments made by 10 even uglier liberal women
Forgive us if we sound like Jerry Seinfeld here, but what’s with ugly liberal women making ugly comments? Which ugliness comes first? Does one automatically lead to the other? One might be inclined to believe so after comparing these quotes to these photos.

butt-crackAlibi of the year: Suspect denies owning crack found in his … uhhh … crack
A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him.

rachida-datiHot, but stupid French politician announces that “fellatio is almost non-existent”
Well, this is embarrassing. Glamorous French politician Rachida Dati has publicly apologized after confusing oral sex with inflation.

illini-footballChanting “USA” at a football game is now offensive to Muslims
Liberals are the most sensitive people on the face of the planet. So we must – absolutely must – do everything we can to assure that these delicate lovers of peace are not offended by any of our words or actions.

jesse-jacksonJesse Jackson says that Jesus didn’t speak English. At least we think that’s what he said.
Apparently, the Good Reverend Jackson believes that some Republicans believe that Jesus spoke English. Hell, man, we don’t even believe that Jesse Jackson speaks English.

tape-mouthWar against truth: UK teenager banned from U.S. for life for calling Obama a prick
Luke Angel, a 17-year old British teenager has been banned from America for life for calling President Obama “a prick” in an email to the White House.

al-gorePerfect: Los Angeles builds new school on toxic dump, names it after Al Gore built
Al Gore has been honored appropriately by the Los Angeles School District. They built a new school on top of a toxic dump and named it after the man who has come to symbolize environmental voodoo.

obama-umbrella-mysteryHow can we expect this guy to handle our enemies when he can’t handle an umbrella?
How can we expect this guy to handle our enemies when he can’t handle an umbrella? here are nine captions for the soon-to-be-famous Barack and Michelle umbrella photo.

miss-muslim-moral-beautyIntroducing Miss Muslim Moral Beauty 2010: She has lovely eyes and a great personality
Welcome to the friggin’ Middle Ages, my friends. Here’s the new Miss Muslim Moral Beauty 2010. Miss Congeniality was the contestant who didn’t blow up her competitors.

eva-mendesThe shocking Eva Mendes sex tape, completely unedited
Actress Eva Mendes found out that there have been millions of Google searches for the term “eva mendes sex tape.” She said no such tape exists, but since we live in a supply-and-demand society, so she decided to give the people what they want.

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It’s got a good beat and it’s easy to dance to: Penn State anti-Semitic songwriter has another hit

by editor on December 29, 2010

America’s system of higher education is awash with political correctness, a stifling philosophy that stymies all types of political discourse.

emerson-begolly

Penn State's vaunted rules of political correctness do not apply to Muslim extremist songwriters

The rules of political correctness as expressed at Penn State are exacting and explicit: You cannot make fun of, or imply that you’re making fun of any race, religion, ethnic group, sexual orientation, relative inability to drive a car, etc.

Except, of course, if you’re a white power fanatic who praises Muslims who kill Jews.

Then it’s ok.

Big Peace reports that one Penn State student, named Emerson Bogolly, who apparently studies in the wildly challenging Letters, Arts and Sciences department, wrote this little ditty about killing Jews entitled “When the Jew’s Blood Reds My Knife” and posted it on a radical Muslim website:

When the Jew’s blood reds my knife
Then my life is free from strife

Hiding behind rocks and trees
I’ll find them with greatest ease
Make them get down on their knees
Slaughter them despite their pleas

Throw them in the ovens hot
Soap and lampshades sold and bought
Made of the Jews that we shot
Mercy’s something I have not

With the bomb and machinegun
Blast at them and watch them run
We will have a lot of fun
Shoot and kill Jews one by one

The chorus is: We hate Jews, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. (OK. we made that part up.)

Young Emerson has also written ditties praising Osama bin Laden and other Muslim fanatics who specialize in killing, maiming, and harming Jews.

If he had expressed the same venom about any other race or religion, he would be packing up his Penn State sweatshirts, life-sized Joe Paterno cardboard cutout, and authentic SS uniform and heading out of the confines of Happy Valley. But since threatening Jews seems to be a core tenant of the Muslim faith, he’ll probably be tucked safely behind the protection of academic freedom for oppressed peoples.

Hell, they’ll probably give him a grant.

– Written by Sven Waring at DotPenn.com

Source: Big Peace

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Angry left wing screenwriter (is there any other kind?) hates hunters. Especially that damn Sarah Palin.

by editor on December 29, 2010

Aaron Sorkin’s article in Huffington Post entitled “In Her Defense, I’m Sure the Moose Had It Coming” started out promisingly enough.

aaron-sorkin

Surprise, surprise! Angry Aaron Sorkin doesn't like Sarah Palin.

Quoting Sarah Palin’s Facebook post the article begins, “Unless you’ve never worn leather, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation.” He then goes on to say “You’re right, Sarah, we’ll all just go fuck ourselves now.” Fair enough, but then like most liberals he fails to do as promised.

Sorkin bashes Palin for everything from her Facebook use, to her torturing of animals (which most individuals would call “hunting”) to her making “snuff films,” to her killing the poor caribou not “for food or shelter or even fashion” (which is apparently okay) but “for fun.”

As if all that weren’t enough Sorkin then compares Palin and all hunters, whom he refers to as “faux-macho shitheads,” to Michall Vick. Yes, we were all horrified when we learned that Palin had tortured the caribou for refusing to fight other caribou as apparently occurred on Sorkin’s home planet.

Sorkin saves the worst for last. As mentioned earlier, Palin did not hunt for food, shelter, or fashion. No, she did it for fun and for “political gain.” Yes, political gain. Because as we all know Palin is planning to run for President on the “Hey, I shot a caribou. Vote for me” platform.

Sorkin also informs us that he was arrested for cocaine possession in 2001 so that “Palin’s Army of Arrogant Assholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal” won’t be able to write about it first.

While cocaine addiction may explain a bit of the anger emanating from a certain screenwriter it cannot be solely responsible for this tirade. A likelier explanation is that Sorkin accuses Palin of being a “phony.” But really, are there any bigger phonies than those who live and work in Hollyweird?

Source: Huffington Post

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ObamaCare about as popular as pleurisy, only 43% still support it

by editor on December 29, 2010

President Obama promised Democrats that ObamaCare was the magic elixir that would make them invulnerable in last November’s elections. He said the bill would become even more popular as people learned what was in it.

obamacare-unpopular

President Obama practices showing compassion with his version of the patented Bill Clinton Lip Bite™

A ABC/Washington Post poll has some very bad news for the President:

Coinciding with a federal judge’s ruling invalidating a key element of the health care reform law, an ABC News/Washington Post poll finds support for the landmark legislation at a new low – but division on what to do about it.

The law’s never been popular, with support peaking at just 48 percent in November 2009. Today it’s slipped to 43 percent, numerically its lowest in ABC/Post polling. (It was about the same, 44 percent, a year ago.) Fifty-two percent are opposed, and that 9-point gap in favor of opposition is its largest on record since the latest debate over health care reform began in earnest in summer 2009.

More also continue to “strongly” oppose the law than to strongly support it, 37 percent to 22 percent.

Nancy Pelosi said, “We had to pass the bill to find out what was in it.”

Unfortunately, what they found was that the American people don’t like it.

Source: ABCnews.com

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It’s Inexplicable Photo Caption Contest Time: Part II.

by editor on December 28, 2010

Once again, no prizes other than the self-satisfaction you’ll get from posting the funniest caption for this inexplicable photo of President Obama.

Only one rule: Make ’em funny or we’ll send the Administrator over to your house to force you to watch Ed Schultz on MSNBC.

obama-light-sabre

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Congratulations, President Obama: Germans say you’re the biggest loser of 2010

by editor on December 28, 2010

How far we’ve come since that Obama speech that drew 200,000 Germans who mistakenly thought JFK had been reborn in this fakir. Just two short years later he has become an object of derision.

obama loser

Barack Obama, the biggest loser of 2010, and an unidentified friend

Der Spiegel Online has the details:

“Barack Obama was the biggest loser of 2010. He allowed the angry Tea Party movement to grow powerful, he did not pass any decent laws despite his majority in Congress and he was aloof, elitist and indecisive. He had to accept a formidable, yet entirely understandable, defeat in the midterm elections as a result. No one expected much from Obama, at least not during the rest of this year.”

“Now, just days before Christmas, Congress has ratified the New START disarmament treaty with Russia. … Will Obama build on this victory? Is it Obama’s breakthrough as a president? Will it mark his comeback as a reformer? … Is a new era of cooperation beginning?”

“The opposite is much more probable, namely that the disarmament treaty will be Obama’s last significant achievement for a long time. In January, the new Congress will convene. The new representatives who won in the midterm elections will come to Washington, including those Tea Party activists who have little interest in making compromises with Obama. With them, Congress will move to the right …. Possibly the only reason why so many Republicans voted for Obama’s law was because they themselves fear the new era and see few chances of passing sensible, bipartisan laws in the new Congress.”

If President Obama had any grasp on reality, he’d make that “L” shape with his thumb and forefinger and hold it up in front of his forehead.

Source: Spiegel.de

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Our favorite stories of 2010, Tuesday edition

by editor on December 28, 2010

You can’t make stuff like this up. Luckily, we didn’t have to in 2010. Here are ten more stories that make blogging fun and easy.

Also see:

Our favorite stories of 2010, Monday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Wednesday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Thursday edition
Our favorite stories of 2010, Friday edition

luke-reeson-bullet-afghanistanBritish soldier in Afghanistan shot in face by Taliban, spits out bullet, walks two miles for treatment
A brave British soldier, Luke Reeson, who was shot in the face by the Taliban spat out the bullet – then walked nearly two miles for treatment before being rushed home for an emergency operation.

elphant-screws-donkeyOur prediction for the November 2010 elections
Will the American people reject the obaminations known as ObamaCare and Obamanomics and the man they’re named after? Our trusty Magic 8-Ball says, “Friggin’ A, Ray.”

double-rainbowThe funniest video of all time. The only thing missing is naked Obama on a unicorn.
We’ve never seen a double rainbow. But if we were to see one, we doubt that it would cause us to giggle giddily until we broke down and started sobbing hysterically.

effeminate-obama-curtainsIs anyone really afraid this guy is going to kick his ass? Seriously.
Throws like a girl. Wears mom pants. Looks like a geek on a bike. Shows subservience to every foreign leader. Puts up curtains while working on a Habitat for Humanity house. Can’t bowl. Strikes effeminate poses. Drinks his beer like he’s at a tea party. Eats hotdogs with a little too much gusto (if you know what we mean). Gives man hugs a little too freely.

carla-bruniYouTube pulls video of France’s first lady saying “Put your finger up my ass” in seven languages
A 1996 video has surfaced in which Carla Bruni, wife of French President Nicholas Sarkozy, gives a whole new meaning to the term “T&A” as she talks about both “T” and “A” in ways American first ladies other than Rosalynn Carter are totally unfamiliar with.

Hillary-Clinton15 more tall tales told by politicians (Richard Blumenthal’s not the only politician with a “creative” resume)
Here are other more politicans that have told tall tales in an attemp to advance their career with a resume-enhancing tall tale or two.

richard-blumenthal37 more lies discovered on Richard Blumenthal’s resume
We have gone over Richard Blumenthal’s resume with the proverbial fine tooth comb and discovered 37 other things this congenital liar claims to have done, but didn’t.

michelle-obama-patrick-ewingObama TV miniseries in the works, we offer our help with casting
Open TV & Film is working on a TV miniseries based on Barack Obama’s run for the presidency as described in Newsweek journalist Richard Woolfe’s book Renegade: The Making of a President. We offer our help with the casting.

rick-sanchez CNN’s Rick Sanchez channels Ted Baxter, makes complete fool of himself. Again.
The only thing missing here is Mary Tyler Moore burying her face in her hands and saying, “Ohhhh, Ted.” Sanchez went to a break on Monday by reading exactly what was on his Teleprompter. And when we say exactly, we mean exactly.

michelle-obama-lap Why is everyone staring at Michelle Obama’s lap?
The scene was last week’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. A crowd gathers to stare at Michelle Obama’s lap. Our theory about what they’re staring at explained in this post.

New York Times says Jon Stewart is today’s Edward R. Murrow. Keith Olbermann hardest hit.

by editor on December 28, 2010

That pathetic sound you hear is Keith Olbermann whimpering over in the corner. The New York Times has undoubtedly devastated the left wing lunatic by naming someone else as this generation’s Edward R. Murrow.

olbermann-murrow

Keith Olbermann is Edward R. Murrow. Just ask him.

We don’t want to get in the middle of this little spat, so we’ll just let the Times explain its own bizarre designation:

Did the bill pledging federal funds for the health care of 9/11 responders become law in the waning hours of the 111th Congress only because a comedian took it up as a personal cause?

And does that make that comedian, Jon Stewart — despite all his protestations that what he does has nothing to do with journalism — the modern-day equivalent of Edward R. Murrow?

… Though the scale of the impact of Mr. Stewart’s telecast on public policy may not measure up to the roles that Mr. Murrow and Mr. Cronkite played, Mr. Thompson said, the comparison is legitimate because the law almost surely would not have moved forward without him. “He so pithily articulated the argument that once it was made, it was really hard to do anything else,” Mr. Thompson said.

How dare they? Why, this is an insult to Olbermann, MSNBC’s self-styled heir to the Murrow legend. Look for him to demand satisfaction. A duel at sunrise, perhaps. The Times’ choice of weapons.

In lieu of a duel, we certainly expect the Times to be named Worst Person in the World. And they deserve that title.

After all, does Jon Stewart sign off his show by saying, “Good night and good luck” like Murrow did? No. Does Jon Stewart remind his viewers that he is the heir to Murrow’s courage and tenacity? No. Is Jon Stewart a pompous ass with no viewers? Oh, wait. That’s an entirely different subject.

Source: New York Times

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Is Al Franken going conservative? He’s condemning the FCC’s net neutrality regulations

by editor on December 28, 2010

How unpopular are the FCC’s new net neutrality regulations? Even liberal Senator Al Franken objects to this outrageous power grab.

He took to the floor of the Senate to deliver a speech that sounded more like “Mr Smith Goes To Washington” than “Saturday Night Live.” He lambasted Federal Communications Commission Chairman Julius Genachows’ proposed regulations.

“I sincerely hope that the FCC will make significant improvements before then,” Franken said, “and that each of the Commissioners will think long and hard before they vote to approve a proposal that could actually make things worse for all Americans.”

Hey, here’s an idea, Al. How about if the United States Senate actually takes its Constitutional responsibilities seriously and slaps down this bureaucratic fiat.

Nah, what are we talking about? That’s just crazy talk.

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Barney Frank says not allowing gays and straights to shower together is discrimination, dammit!

by editor on December 28, 2010

A true story from the Editor’s past: A kid from France transferred to my high school. How a kid from France ended up in that godforsaken corner of California I don’t know, but that’s neither here nor there. Frenchy Boy was in my gym class. He got an erection every day in the showers. As a result, he had no friends and I began developing an intense Francophobia.

With that as background, let’s move on to the Barney Frank story.

Ol’ Barney says that it would be discrimination if gays and straights are not allowed to shower together. Think of it as his own personal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Drop The Soap” policy.

“To accept the principle that homosexuals can’t shower with other people is a degree of discrimination that goes far beyond this. We don’t get ourselves drycleaned. We tend to take showers when we go to the gym; when we play sports,” Frank said.

Note to Congressman Frank: Playing grab ass is not considered a sport.

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