Flush with the successful launch of Healthcare.gov… the Obama administration is ready to take over the news media. Much as we hate the media, even we don’t hate them that much. If the history of MSNBC tells us anything, it’s that being run by the government is no path to success.
Rasmussen poll: 37% think zombies could do a better job running the country. Our faith in the intelligence of the American electorate is restored.
Muslim suicide bomber blows himself up on empty beach. Darwin Award shoo-in.
Obama: Bad apple insurance companies are to blame for all this losing of plans you liked. No, President Quagmire, they didn’t un-build that, someone else helped them do it.
Moose hunter accidentally shoots man sitting on toilet. Here I sit, broken hearted, came to shit, but only got shotted.
The secret no one is talking about buried in Obamacare. “One of the goals of Obamacare… is to separate employment from health insurance. …the ACA law is littered with even worse economic incentives. One of them is mobility. Obamacare will cause people to freeze in geographic location.” Seriously, we think the only real goal of ObumblerCare was to produce something, anything the Demo-media could pass off as national health care and attribute it as a miracle performed by their sort-of-god, Barack Obama. Hail! Eleventy! Unicorns! Obama!
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) apologizes for calling Harry Reid an asshole. But why? He’s tiny, smelly, puckered, produces nothing but shit, and everybody calls him Harry.
CONGRATULATIONS, DEMOCRATS! Nearly Half of New York Doctors Bailing on Obamacare. If you like your doctor
you can keep your doctor he’ll tell you to take a hike.
Obamacare website sending people to Brooklyn Cupcake shop. Hey, maybe this is a sign things are improving. “Go buy a cupcake” is certainly more useful than “404 Error.”
Sebelius says ‘Obamacare website never crashed’. Obamacare website promptly crashes. It appears the Al Gore effect has morphed into the Sebelius effect.
MSNBC host Ronan Farrow is nostalgic for the Clintons. Specifically, he misses their honesty:
“I think they represent a style of honesty that the public craves right now.”
Being professional media analysts here at IHTM, we can read between the lines and ascertain the subtle meaning underlying this statement: MSNBC is smoking some powerful weed, man.
Under pressure from White House, NBC censors news that Obama wrote regs to disqualify and terminate health insurance policies. It’s not only that the WH knew policies would be cancelled, they intentionally wrote the regulations regarding “grandfathering” in order to cause that to happen. NBC reported this info, then deleted it, but now it’s back… for a while, anyway.
Former Democratic staffer, burned by Obamacare: “I was wrong. Very wrong.” Congressional staffer spent two years enduring the slings and arrows of outraged constituents, unhappy over her Party’s crap sandwich. She’s since lost her job and now has to buy health insurance under the law she defended. The result? Petard, hoisted, yada, yada, yada.
Jesse Jackson Jr. turned away from prison. Apparently he showed up four days early to serve his sentence and they weren’t ready for him. Completely understandable. Him being a former congressman calls for certain preparations… like hiding all the silverware, replacing the copper plumbing fixtures, and warning the other inmates not to pick up the soap.
PEOPLE BIOLOGICALLY TAKE PLEASURE IN THE PAIN OF OTHERS: This certainly explains Barry’s enthusiasm for the Deplorable Health Control Act.
Dem on ObamaCare: “We will own this problem forever.” As the signs in all the tourist trap souvenir stores say, “You BREAK it, you OWN it.” FYI: here’s the LA Times “sticker shock” story the mail alluded to. The pull quote: “I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it.”
NBC says Obama admin. knew millions could not keep their health insurance. “Obama administration has known [this] for at least 3 years: …50 to 75 percent of the 14 million consumers who buy their insurance individually can expect to receive a ‘cancellation’ letter or the equivalent over the next year because their existing policies don’t meet the standards mandated by the new health care law. …[sources] say that many of those forced to buy pricier new policies will experience ‘sticker shock.’” It’s not a lie, it’s just a truth they decided not to tell until well after the election.