FBI SEIZES OVER 3,000 PENISES DURING RAID AT MORGUE EMPLOYEE’S HOME. If this is true no one is EVER going to beat it. (Playing organ music in remembrance).

UPDATE: Well, it appears this isn’t true, which we suspicioned. According to Snopes it’s all BS. As this isn’t political we’ll go with Snopes call on it. Gotta admit it was a pun palooza.

FBI Seizes Over 3,000 Penises During Raid at Morgue Employee’s Home?

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Anonymous White MaleProgressive HemrrhoidMGAPwornout farmerNot so silent Recent comment authors
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Anonymous White Male
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Anonymous White Male

You guys have all missed the point! This, uhh, thing is an artiste. The 3000 penises are for a Christof size exhibition, along with 3000 fish tacos. Or, maybe its for his Regional Penis Museum? I forget. Besides, its not like he hurt anyone. They weren’t going to use them any more.

JPTravis
Member

“They weren’t going to use them any more.”

But are you truly a stiff without a… wait, let me say that another way… Can you ever hold your head up around the other stiffs… wait, that doesn’t work either… Look, all I know is those 3,000 guys are going to be mighty embarrassed when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives.

Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid

My only question is why?

Not so silent
Member
Not so silent

Who in the F*ck would have hired a guy that looks like this?

JPTravis
Member

First thing I thought when I saw the photo: member of the Obama administration.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

You know what we have to do here, right? I’ll crank out the first one….

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49

Don’t you mean squeeze one out?

JPTravis
Member

At, there’s the rub…

StrinaM
Member

Wouldn’t that cause too much friction?

JPTravis
Member

I heard he was dating Caitlyn Jenner for a while…

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49

Did he also have 3,000 hot dog rolls and 30 gallons of mustard too?

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49

Was he planning to eat a bag of dicks?

PsychoDad
Member

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ooddballz
Member
ooddballz

The Federal Bureau of Investigation suspected 54-year old Dave Murray, an employee of the Harris County Morgue, of being implicated in an organ trafficking network.

Organ trafficking? Sounds more like he was collecting.

JPTravis
Member

Pointed comment: who better to seize penises than the FBI?

PsychoDad
Member

Did you say “seize penises”?!?
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JPTravis
Member

It is one of the great mysteries of life that people grow more and more to look like their spouses, and look like their dogs, and even, believe it or not, look like their cars. Anyone else notice this guy looks like a dick?

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

I looked at my dick when I went to the bathroom and it doesn’t look anything like this guy. Less hair might have something to do with it. (snicker)

Joe Redfield
Member
Joe Redfield

You’re lucky; mine does.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

*snerk*

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

Dayam dude! Maybe you need to do one of those shaving things! Or at least a trim job! One of my ex-wives had a “hair problem” and she was an expert at keeping the bush trimmed down to a reasonable level. Excuse me, I meant to say “brush level”. I’d give you her phone number if I had it. LMOAO…

Joe Redfield
Member
Joe Redfield

Maybe he was hoping to cash in on the F to M transition boom. Or he thought there might be heavy demand from Congressional Republicans.

wornout farmer
Member
wornout farmer

They need balls, they’re all dicks.

Shang Kwon
Member
Shang Kwon

He must shop at Dick’s.

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

Good Lord, how sick can people get? This guy gives a whole new meaning to the term “I like dicks”.