Help Wanted: Professional Fart-Smeller. The good news is that it pays up to $50K a year. The bad news is the jobs are in China. Ok, the bad news is really that you earn the money by smelling farts. But there is a training program, so all you grads out there with degrees in gender studies, here’s a chance to pay off those student loans.

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30 Comments on "Help Wanted: professional fart-smeller"

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Porky Al Jimmydad
December 8, 2012 8:03 pm

It’s HERE! A job that Charles Johnson and John Kerry are both qualified for! This is an occupation that Chuckles would shine in, while Mr. Ketchup would add a touch of class with his hero medals.

Member
sa_rose
December 9, 2012 10:58 pm

He threw away his shiny hero medals. Probably the smartest thing he’s ever done, for likely he deserved none of them.

Guest
Navyvet2
December 8, 2012 8:40 pm

Ah ha. Newsweak is going tits up right? All their bullshit artists, er ah writers, have had their noses up King Bawreck’s ass for so long, who could be more qualified? And they just happen to be suddenly out of a job.

Member
MKR148
December 8, 2012 9:10 pm

“extremely stinky farts indicate bacterial infection in the patient’s bowels or intestines” Oooo No! I think I might have bacterial infection!

Member
Plainsman
December 9, 2012 5:48 am

Yeah, no kidding…. but it begs the question, do non-extremely stinky farts exist? Begs another question… anybody ever notice how you don’t really mind smelling your own RG but let somebody else release in your presence and OMG?

Member
sa_rose
December 9, 2012 11:00 pm

Trust me they aren’t kidding. If you had a bacterial infection you would absolutely know the difference!

Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid
December 8, 2012 9:13 pm

Would never work here I’m afraid, somebody would try to start a Union.

Member
December 9, 2012 10:06 am

What are they going to strike for? Better working conditions?

Admin
December 8, 2012 9:33 pm

Finally! The perfect job for Crowley.

Member
poppajoe49
December 9, 2012 5:03 am

He may be overqualified. All these years of sitting in the basement, I’m sure he has been smelling farts quite often, either that, or his nose is destroyed from smelling himself.

Member
Not so silent
December 9, 2012 11:41 pm

Well Greyhound has an opening for Creepy Crowley if he is over qualified for the Chinese job…Sucking farts out of bus seats…7.50 an hour.

Member
Ruben
December 8, 2012 10:20 pm

Professional Fart-Smeller, a.k.a. Reader of the Leftwing Mind.

Admin
December 8, 2012 11:45 pm

Confucious say: Man whe smell fart for a living think work is a real gas.

Member
ooddballz
December 9, 2012 1:15 am

Personally, I think the job would stink.

Member
Karmaa
December 9, 2012 4:22 am

Now I know who would drink the elephant poo coffee!

Member
drb
December 9, 2012 10:50 am

Or cat poo coffee (yep they have that too)

Member
Neo-7
December 9, 2012 5:23 am

You righties have it all wrong on this one . The untapped potential of the energy in all those billions of “farts “( flatulence for real people ) is only limited by your unwillingness to invest billions and billions and billions in ground breaking research .
That article awhile back about mocking those of us that DEMANDED MASSIVE research on mining the unlimited energy from the ever shining moon , just shows how STUPID you all were from birth .—– Oblvious and her kind

Member
poppajoe49
December 9, 2012 5:37 am

Neo-7.
Please edit your post, we use the term “She who shall not be named”.
Actually using that name might cause the return of She who shall not be named.

Member
DefHarryMelon
December 9, 2012 5:48 am

Welch’s grape juice, jam and jelly commercials used to show a device they called the Welch’s flavor saver. This device could be retrofitted to concentrated the emissions of every carbon based flatulator on the planet, or at least in the D.C. area, providing a ‘green’ energy source that would be more abundant and useful than anything our trillions of tax dollars have been invested in these past four years.

Member
poppajoe49
December 9, 2012 6:33 am

Unless they could find a way to harness all that hot air and use it to heat public buildings, or generate electricity.

Member
December 9, 2012 10:12 am

I’ve been told that I’m a pretty Smart Feller. Is that close enough?

Member
December 9, 2012 10:22 am

“Finally, the presence of garlic or chives in our farts is thought to be an indicator that we’re consuming too much of the foods in question…”

No shit.

Member
poppajoe49
December 9, 2012 2:17 pm

No, just gas.

Member
December 10, 2012 10:17 am

No such thing as too much garlic.

Member
sa_rose
December 10, 2012 11:29 am

5 thumbs up to you Flash!

Member
poppajoe49
December 10, 2012 6:26 pm

Or bacon.

Member
December 10, 2012 6:34 pm

or friends

Member
Trickie
December 9, 2012 10:55 am

You would need a dog to test pelosi, because her skin been pulled so tight when she farts only a dog would hear it.

Admin
December 9, 2012 11:06 am

ROFLMAO!!!

Guest

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