Help Wanted: Professional Fart-Smeller. The good news is that it pays up to $50K a year. The bad news is the jobs are in China. Ok, the bad news is really that you earn the money by smelling farts. But there is a training program, so all you grads out there with degrees in gender studies, here’s a chance to pay off those student loans.

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30 Comments on "Help Wanted: professional fart-smeller"

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[…] reading here: Help Wanted: professional fart-smeller Tags: new format Category: 2010 Elections You can follow any responses to this entry via RSS. […]

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Trickie
Member

You would need a dog to test pelosi, because her skin been pulled so tight when she farts only a dog would hear it.

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CO2Insanity
Admin

ROFLMAO!!!

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JPTravis
Member

“Finally, the presence of garlic or chives in our farts is thought to be an indicator that we’re consuming too much of the foods in question…”

No shit.

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poppajoe49
Member

No, just gas.

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flashingscotsman
Member

No such thing as too much garlic.

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poppajoe49
Member

Or bacon.

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RobertW
Member

or friends

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sa_rose
Member

5 thumbs up to you Flash!

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flashingscotsman
Member

I’ve been told that I’m a pretty Smart Feller. Is that close enough?

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Neo-7
Member

You righties have it all wrong on this one . The untapped potential of the energy in all those billions of “farts “( flatulence for real people ) is only limited by your unwillingness to invest billions and billions and billions in ground breaking research .
That article awhile back about mocking those of us that DEMANDED MASSIVE research on mining the unlimited energy from the ever shining moon , just shows how STUPID you all were from birth .—– Oblvious and her kind

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DefHarryMelon
Member

Welch’s grape juice, jam and jelly commercials used to show a device they called the Welch’s flavor saver. This device could be retrofitted to concentrated the emissions of every carbon based flatulator on the planet, or at least in the D.C. area, providing a ‘green’ energy source that would be more abundant and useful than anything our trillions of tax dollars have been invested in these past four years.

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poppajoe49
Member

Unless they could find a way to harness all that hot air and use it to heat public buildings, or generate electricity.

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poppajoe49
Member

Neo-7.
Please edit your post, we use the term “She who shall not be named”.
Actually using that name might cause the return of She who shall not be named.

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Karmaa
Member

Now I know who would drink the elephant poo coffee!

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drb
Member

Or cat poo coffee (yep they have that too)

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ooddballz
Member

Personally, I think the job would stink.

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CO2Insanity
Admin

Confucious say: Man whe smell fart for a living think work is a real gas.

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Ruben
Member

Professional Fart-Smeller, a.k.a. Reader of the Leftwing Mind.

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CO2Insanity
Admin

Finally! The perfect job for Crowley.

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poppajoe49
Member

He may be overqualified. All these years of sitting in the basement, I’m sure he has been smelling farts quite often, either that, or his nose is destroyed from smelling himself.

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Not so silent
Member

Well Greyhound has an opening for Creepy Crowley if he is over qualified for the Chinese job…Sucking farts out of bus seats…7.50 an hour.

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Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid

Would never work here I’m afraid, somebody would try to start a Union.

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flashingscotsman
Member

What are they going to strike for? Better working conditions?

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MKR148
Member

“extremely stinky farts indicate bacterial infection in the patient’s bowels or intestines” Oooo No! I think I might have bacterial infection!

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sa_rose
Member

Trust me they aren’t kidding. If you had a bacterial infection you would absolutely know the difference!

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Plainsman
Member

Yeah, no kidding…. but it begs the question, do non-extremely stinky farts exist? Begs another question… anybody ever notice how you don’t really mind smelling your own RG but let somebody else release in your presence and OMG?

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Navyvet2
Guest

Ah ha. Newsweak is going tits up right? All their bullshit artists, er ah writers, have had their noses up King Bawreck’s ass for so long, who could be more qualified? And they just happen to be suddenly out of a job.

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Porky Al Jimmydad
Member

It’s HERE! A job that Charles Johnson and John Kerry are both qualified for! This is an occupation that Chuckles would shine in, while Mr. Ketchup would add a touch of class with his hero medals.

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sa_rose
Member

He threw away his shiny hero medals. Probably the smartest thing he’s ever done, for likely he deserved none of them.

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