Pumpkin shortage threatens to ruin Halloween. Will Congress investigate?

by editor on October 15, 2009

Big Pumpkin is pure, unadulterated eeeeeeeeeevil.

Big Pumpkin is pure, unadulterated eeeeeeeeeevil.

First we got screwed by Big Oil. Then it was Big Pharma’s turn. Now there’s a new crisis caused by those market manipulating scumbags at Big Pumpkin.

As the Washington Times reports:

When children leave Cox Farms and other pumpkin patches across the nation this fall, they may go home with a gourd instead of the traditional orange pumpkin.

That’s because Cox Farms, which hosts one of the Washington area’s largest fall festivals this month, is looking at a pumpkin shortage.

Cox Farms marketing manager Bob Richard said a rainy spring in some parts of the country has led to a dearth of the little pumpkins that children carry home from the patch.

This calls for a government takeover of the entire pumpkin industry. We need price controls, damn it. Where’s Barney Frank when we need him? It’s every American child’s right to have a perfect pumpkin. We’re pretty sure that’s in the constitution. Somewhere.

It’s for the chiiiiiiildren.

Source: Washington Times

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