Six-year-old Suspended for Firing Assault Finger. We suppose if he’d merely told him “spread your legs you’re going to be searched” and then did a body cavity search with that finger we’d see Joe Biden riding AMTRAK to his rescue.

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48 Comments on "Six-year-old Suspended for Firing Assault Finger"

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Elrond Hubbard
Member

If toy guns are forbidden kids will use sticks as guns, if the sticks are taken away, they’ll use their fingers as guns, if fingers are taped closed, kids will spread their arms apart and pretend to be jet fighters. I was a kid once and I have three kids and five grandchildren, I know that the inventiveness and imagination of kids far surpassed the ability of adults to restrict them.

Karmaa
Member

And girls will use their dump truck push toys as doll strollers. It’s stupid to fight it and to deny it. God has put some stuff into humans that all of our scientists can’t see or figure out, and we need to just accept it. (Come to think of it – that could be why so many scientists despise God… hmmmmm.)

poppajoe49
Member

Careful Karmaa, you might lose your membership in the psychologist guild, if they hear you talking about gender assignment that way!

Karmaa
Member

No problem – I slipped out the back door when they weren’t paying attention!

flashingscotsman
Member

Wait a minute. I’m confused. Are you guys trying to say that there’s a difference between boys and girls? We need to do a study.

Karmaa
Member

The results of the studies get buried. They occasionally get peer-reviewed and published, but everyone ignores them. The main reason they sometimes get published is so that other researchers can attempt to refute the studies.

Don’t get me started on this whole peer-review/publishing crap. It’s the stupidest PC system that could possibly be instituted. If it’s not published, it’s worthless. If it IS published it is sacrosanct, unless it’s not popular, in which case it’s only there to be shredded by the rest of the “researchers”. And some of the studies are beyond STUPID.

However – any well-designed study supports the fact that there are differences between the genders. As usual, only the hard-core feminazis refuse to believe it.

poppajoe49
Member

Put together a prospectus and include research centers in CA and FL.
Ask the goobermint for $200 million to do the research, and we’ll split up the money, do some research, and submit a consolidated report.
We each should end up with $99 million in profit!

DefHarryMelon
Member

I have a behavioral neuropsychologist type doctor available to sign anything we can draft. Draft or draught, makes no difference to me… or him.

poppajoe49
Member

So, we can pay him in beer?
Sounds like a plan!

drb
Member

And girls will use their dump truck push toys as doll strollers

I did when I was a child…and I would take my brother’s GI Joe too cuz I felt Barbie deserved a better boyfriend than Ken.

Karmaa
Member

Hahah. Yeah, back in the days when GI Joe was full sized and so much more macho than that wussy Ken. Of course – turnabout being fair play and all – Joe occasionally kidnapped my Barbies, and they would come back with really messed up hair and clothes. I shudder to think what torture they endured at the hands of my brother.

KimmyQueen
Guest

That is hilarious

drb
Member

LMAO, I think that is an universal phenominon!

poppajoe49
Member

Not having any sisters, I can’t comment.

KimmyQueen
Guest

LOL So True!

poppajoe49
Member

I thought Ken was gay

drb
Member

he does wear an ascot…just sayin’

GhostntheMachine
Member

So does the dickhead on Scooby-Doo, and he always wondered why Shaggy needed all that ‘fuel’ to keep his energy up. Dumbass.

drb
Member

Fred/Ken…twins.

GhostntheMachine
Member

There Ya go, Fweetness now has a new nick(no pun)name, FredKen.

KimmyQueen
Guest

Hence why it would have never worked out between the both of them

RKae
Member

Here’s a good question: Can a person make a finger-gun if it’s not accompanied with a “Bang, bang”? What if you just do the finger-gun, but you wink and say, “How you doin’, big fella?” – you know: that sort of chummy hello thing?

That’s the thing about political correctness: it requires so many complicated strata of what’s OK, what isn’t, and in what context, and blah, blah, blah.

drb
Member

LOL, there is a guy at the hospital that does that finger-gun wink thing to me all the time…but he doesn’t say anything, just nods his head along with it.

poppajoe49
Member

SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!

Mornin’ dear. [_]3
MUWAH!

drb
Member

morn’n’ poppa….oh, thank you.

poppajoe49
Member

“How you doin’, big fella?”

That sounds like sexual harassment.
Now you opened another can of worms!

KimmyQueen
Guest

It’s a rabbit hole of political correctness with no bottom…

Alien
Member

in modern internet parlance, it is now pewpewpewpew

tincan53
Member

Damn those 6yo finger guns. You never know where one has been and they could miss fire at anytime causing all kinds of pops and bangs and, oh the carnage. They better ban those finger guns like yesterday. Dumbass liberals.

KimmyQueen
Guest

6 year old is acting out, he is probably trying to deal with something he saw or heard. Suspension is not the way to go it will make him feel like he did something unpardonable. People need to calm down.

RKae
Member

Article doesn’t say if it was loaded. Was there a booger on the finger? If so, I’m siding with the libs on this one.

GhostntheMachine
Member

If he’d been passing out free condoms on that finger they’d have the parade already scheduled.

StrinaM
Member

Gregory would have held up the empty assault finger magazine on national TV as proof of how violent it is.

Joe Redfield
Member

But was it a ‘military-style’ assault finger? And if it had been David Gregory’s son, nothing would have happened.

poppajoe49
Member

If he didn’t have a magazine larger than 10 rounds, then this is false prosecution!

Jim Stewart
Member

Quick, someone pull my assault finger. I can assure you that people will flee.

GhostntheMachine
Member

No joke, my daughter just walked by and read the headline over my shoulder and said, ” what, somebody was dumb enough to pull it?”, and then I scroll down and see your comment. She just looked at me and deadpanned, “I have an uncle you never told me about?” Raised her well.

Thanks for the daughter\dad moment, not nearly as funny to anybody else, but I’m still chuckling.

Karmaa
Member

My German husband makes jokes about that every so often. I guess some things are just universal. 😉

GhostntheMachine
Member

Oh, oh, you sent me searching… I just solved an ancient petroglyph that has been baffling the most educated folk for decades, cave drawing of a finger pull and a miasma, been confounding the ‘experts’ for years and years…

Just for a laugh, bet ya a beer(or your fav) you snorked.

GhostntheMachine
Member

Wait, wait, I have to ask, have two grown daughters (25 & 19) and still so many things I don’t know.

She did the one eyebrow thing with a straight face when she said “I have an uncle you never told me about?” My Q is

is that genetic, being able to pull that off, or do you’all have training manuals or smartphone apps that you practice in secret, passing it down from generation to generation of the ones who ‘really’ rule the world?

Seriously, give me a crumb, I’m just a guy. 😉

drb
Member

you gotta have two x’s for that just like the eye roll I’ve been doing since birth…(just ask my dad’s bff, he’ll tell ya all about it.)

GhostntheMachine
Member

Genetic, I knew it!

GhostntheMachine
Member

So you have the advantage at birth, us guys are and always have been doomed, you just play with us and let us ‘think’ we’re in control. Gottit.

StrinaM
Member

That’s it! I demand meaningful action. We need a comprehensible ban on fingers!

RKae
Member

The media KNEW you were going to say this! Have you seen any pictures of the kid’s finger? Nope! This is a false flag setup!

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