Convincing evidence that TSA stands for Tremendously Stupid Asses

by editor on November 24, 2010

A group of soldiers coming home from Afghanistan lands in Indianapolis and becomes part of craziest TSA story ever. EVER. has the full story and it’s worth reading if you have a couple minutes:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards.


Exhibit A: An M4 assault weapon

… It’s probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren’t loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

… So we’re in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they’re going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:


Exhibit B: A set of weapons grade nail clippers

TSA Guy: You can’t take those on the plane.
Soldier: What? I’ve had them since we left country.
TSA Guy: You’re not suppose to have them.
Soldier: Why?
TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.
Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I’m allowed to take it on.
TSA Guy: Yeah but you can’t use it to take over the plane. You don’t have bullets.
Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?
TSA Guy: [awkward silence]
Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I’ll buy you a new set.
Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns–but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.

Our advice? Next time wear a burka instead of your uniform and tell TSA that the clippers are part of your religion.


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16 Comments on "Convincing evidence that TSA stands for Tremendously Stupid Asses"

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Tard logic at its best !!!!


Reminds me of when I flew back from Japan on the 20th of September, 2001 after being stuck in the country. There was an individual of clearly middle eastern descent waiting to get on the same plane. The wife was nervous — but I wasn’t. I pointed to the 200-odd marines headed back home after being stuck in-country for G-d knows how long, and said that if he pulls something, we’d get to see a person flushed out an airplane toilet in little bits. I do not believe that they’d need a box cutter to do the job.

Seriously, anyone in the military with a rifle in hand without bullets is almost as dangerous as with it — it just takes a little more time.

Glad to see the TSA is on the job as always. I feel a lot safer knowing that any terrorist will not be properly groomed.


Guy applies for a TSA job. Undergoes hours of testing and psychological evaluations. Result, they detected just a small shred of common sense.




I heard this story the other day on “Quinn & Rose” & it shows you everthing you need to know about abuse of power. Nobody will abuse power more then lowest of gov’t workers who have gained the smallest amount of authority. These TSA idiots are living that dream, making it America’s nightmare.

Elrond Hubbard

Most Americans object to the new TSA rules but they won’t do anything about them because they don’t want to miss their flights. I can’t blame them, I’m flying to New York for Christmas and I’m not looking forward to being X-rayed or patted down but I won’t object because I paid good money for my flight and I don’t want to miss it with a futile protest.

I have been in contact with my Congressman and Senators, we do have to make a stink and keep making a stink until things change.


OK, I realize the poor slob who took the clippers didn’t make the rules. And, I realize it would have been a felony. . . but, imagine a challenge to a dual, TSA guy armed with nail clippers, soldier armed with unloaded rifle. . . let your imagination run with that one.

Just in case the soldiers wanted to hijack the plane to take them home. . . oh.


Bullets are not that hard to hide especially in orifices of the body. This logic is so moronic. This is insane.


Pure insanity. There’s no logic to the rules and the TSA staff have no brains. Get in line, shut up and remember to the facuet to the right when turn it on in the shower.


Those nail clippers could have given the pilot an unwanted manicure and the Gerber Multi-pliers can give a pretty nasty pinch! Great job TSA, makes me feel safe.


What bugs me the most is how many Americans are okay with this crap. Jeepers creepers, people, they’re treating you like cattle! Has everybody lost their minds?

matthew s harrison

The last time I was at LAX, the TSA person spoke such a small amount of engrish, it was terrifying. She couldn’t communicate, she couldn’t understand passengers-and when Ricardo Chavira hit the line with me, she let us through, unscathed-because of his celebrity.
That is all I need to know about the TSA-they will let anyone who is a celebrity through, and can’t discern between a good guy and a bad guy, because they don’t speak our language. I guess if they have seen your face on television, they will let you through-and last time I turned on the MSM, I saw osama bin laden on the screen. Doesn’t bode well for America I am afraid


Ok, I looked up Mr. Chavira, and anyone that looks up to him as a celebrity needs a mental checkup. But then again, after being turned down numerous times for employment at the local fastfood chains, we know the average TSA employee isn’t going to be the sharpest cookie in the jar. Now, with this grope-down policy in place, I’m thinking all the perverts will be in line to get their very own job grabbing people’s privates.


The TSA, staffed by people McDonald’s wouldn’t hire.


what a ridiculous situation, Military should not have to go through security in the first place, these young men and women stand in harms way far too often to have some appointed idiot from TSA take a nail clipper, seems if members of the congress get a no check ticket than certainly the men and women of our military (who are without doubt of better moral and ethical character should not be subject to the joke we have come to know as TSA), it is disgraceful that our military suffers this type of stupidity in their own country!


Stupidity reigns supreme at the TSA. I just read that CAIR wants Muslims to ask if they can pat down themselves. The irony of it…the very people who are committing terrorists acts on planes are the ones who want a complete pass.