Gold Harvey Weinstein Casting Couch Appears Near Oscars Venue

View Comments (5)

• LOS ANGELES (World News Bureau) - This year's Academy Awards nominees will receive an exotic variety of gifts tailored to today's progressive left-wing celebrities. Included in the gifts, valued at over $250K, are:

  Five VIP abortions at Planned Parenthood
  10-day luxury stay at North Korea's Ryugyong Hotel (when/if completed)
  A lifetime supply of Anal Lube
  Two years free use of an illegal immigrant
  Leather bound, hand-signed collectors edition of "Rules For Radicals" by Saul Alinsky
  Complimentary OT I - V level Thetan cleansing from Church Of Scientology
  Solid gold jewel-encrusted meditation wand
  Public kneeling at the location of your choice with Colin Kaepernick
  Four free breast augmentations at The Beauty Factory
  30-day luxury stay at Cuba's Iberostar Varadero Hotel with personal visit by Raul Castro
  VIP participation for two in Satanic High Mass at LA's Church of Satan
  Hot oil massage by Harvey Weinstein (subject to availability)
  Complimentary transgender surgery with deluxe genitals
  2000 hours of psychotherapy

• Why is he wearing pants?

• To celebrate Harvey's new line of "Perv Furniture and potted plants emporium"?

• This is amusing but I wouldn't give the scumbag any more attention, negative or not.

• Just to complete the picture, there should be a potted plant next to the couch.