A Modest Proposal:
Our Dear Leader insists that we cannot contract the Ebola virus through airborne means. His reasoning is that this is a “Junior Varsity”-type ailment, and much like ISIS/ISIL, if you denigrate it with your intellectual superiority, it will be properly ashamed at troubling the “Smartest Guy In The Room”(tm), and beat a hasty retreat from public life. I feel that as he *never* lies to us, and is always truthful, that we need to take him at his word. His cronies at the CDC all back him up — there is no reason to worry, and no reason to use the quarantine measures that that bad boy, GW Bush put in place, as the ACLU feels that impinges upon the “rights” of those “undocumented workers” A.K.A. “disease vectors”.
If you are ill, and feel you have contracted this minor ailment, hop in the old car, drive to DC, and hug your politician or your favorite ACLU lawyer. As they say, there’s no harm in it, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Just remember, kids, do it quick, while you’re still alive.
(Can anybody tell I’m being sarcastic here?)
View Comments (9)
You left out Jess Jackson or Al Sharpton, that is racial discrimination!
Much the same as this....http://satireworld.com/us-news-headlines/201410020514/obama-reassures-nation-ebola-not-a-threat-just-a-jv-virus/
Maybe we will get lucky and one of his secret service agents will give him a hug, believe me, it would really be for the children.
I fully expect that a guy that can't figure out how the intricacies of an umbrella work, will surely have Ebola whipped in a matter of hours.
Hey now, umbrellas can be pretty tricky, especially if they were made by those eeeeeeevil capitalists.
I think you should barf on them while you're hugging.
Oh, now, we are supposed to refer to that as "sharing the wealth".
Obama would opt for the tongue kiss.
It's only fair since it's good enough for us.