Author: Kip Hooker

Obama Basks In Latino Politicians’ Love After His DREAM Moves: Apparently the crowd was very relieved that so many criminal aliens wouldn’t be sent back to their homes now that the Mexican drug lords are all better armed thanks to Big Barry and the Holder Company.

Politico Reporter: Romney Only Comfortable Around ‘White Folks’: Some folks must be getting pretty worried if they’re injecting the race straw-man this early on. Interestingly enough these same people seem to have no issue with the only folks Barry is comfortable around. You know the ones that are either blowing something up, plotting the downfall of this country, giving guns to Mexican drug lords or taking hundred of millions/billions of dollars in kickbacks for services rendered.

WH Press Secretary Forgets Name of Slain Border Patrol Agent: Apparently Jay Carney is only capable of remembering one thing . . . blame Bush!

CNN lays tepid cover for Obama by subtly suggesting “Bush did it too”: Yes, Bush claimed executive privilege to withhold information from Congress in reference to the dismissal of US attorneys. Something that Presidents do. Obama is using executive privilege to obstruct an investigation into his
Justice Department’s complicity in multiple murders. Get the difference?

Our time really is running out: Scientists put forward theory suggesting that the universe could grind to a halt Tempus Finit (A very good source promises us that is the correct translation!).

Woody Allen’s Son Drops Father’s Day Bomb: “Happy father’s day — or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law’s day.” We suggest Woody hire this kid, he’s funny!

With iOS 6, Apple devices will receive national emergency alerts: It looks like it is a red Apple after all.

Polls: Public opinion on George Zimmerman shifting: Well it doesn’t always happen but in this situation it looks like the truth will eventually out.

The 2nd Amendment and the Preservation of Liberty. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: As goes the 2nd Amendment so goes The Constitution.

Michelle Obama slaps ‘corporate’ work, ‘fat paychecks’: Let us remind you this is the woman that used to make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for dumping poor sick people onto the street. But if she’s really so upset at “corporate work” and “fat paychecks” why doesn’t she put her money where her mouth is and keep Barry from taking their contributions? Oh that is right. She can’t put her money where her mouth is. That super sized orifice has already been stuffed full of ours.

China confirms forced abortion case after uproar: Well at least she probably didn’t have to pay for it. That should enough to keep Sandra Fluke happy.

Obvious non expert celebrities demand more tax payer servitude to create “national service” jobs: Hey, it worked for the Nazis! On a side not you might notice one of the commentators in this video is Larry David. Now if the man is really interested in creating meaningful new jobs in this country -as well as lightening the burden on the overstretched middle class- we’ll tell him the exact same thing his ex-wife used to say to Al Gore: “Drill here, drill now, pay less.”

China to send its first woman into space: We were tempted to stop right there and say “Big deal, we did that decades ago.” But then we remembered . . . we no longer have a set transportation system that can get people into space. Thanks Obama!

In Race For Better Cell Service, Men Who Climb Towers Pay With Their Lives: Clearly the issue here is de-regulation. More oversight of gravity is absolutely warranted and a committee must be formed.

Mother Jones has little jones for free space mining: Oh where to go with this one? How about we start with one of the comments: “I can hardly wait to see us make the same ecological mistakes on the moon as we’ve made on this planet. Deepwater Horizon anyone?” That’s right folks. These vile men and their vile space exploits will not be satisfied until they have be-spoiled the oceans of the moon and killed all the moon fishies in search of the remains of dinosaurs that roamed the moon millions upon millions of years ago. Some one better call John Holdren and Planned Parenthood in on this one. Because there can be little doubt that the necessary solution to this problem will be destroying the human race by selectively aborting baby girls.

Holder: Everyone knows ‘in-person voting fraud is uncommon’ Here Mr. Holder, we found some “in person” voter intimidation for you. Now what are you going to do about it? Oh yeah, when you get done with that we will be glad to give you Micky Mouse’s home phone number and address. You might want to ask this Florida resident what he is doing signing the Scott Walker recall petition.

http://youtu.be/A4MTQVMatW0

Is Chris Matthews a Better Communicator Than Barack Obama? Given the “tingle down the leg” factor we are going to suggest that Barry is still on top. At least until Reggie Love stops by.

Lady Gaga Smokes Pole, Suffers Concussion: To paraphrase Captain Renault . . . it was her least vulnerable spot.

Bernie Sanders on the ‘Aggressiveness Among the Ruling Class’: So what would happen to those darn billionaires if only class warriors like Bernie Sanders could get just a little bit more of what they wanted? They’d be secure in their status because government regulation over the economy abolished their competition and forced the consumer to buy their substandard goods at fixed (and highly inflated) prices. In other words it would be just like now . . . only more so. Of course to be fair if Sanders were to get things completely his way those corporations that he now serves might vanish altogether. As would all expectation of the individual retaining the ownership of their labor, bodies and lives.

Oh No You Didn’t: Mossad Agents Claim Obama Lying About Stuxnet: The President taking credit for the successes of others? Come to think of it Barry has a pretty long track record of doing exactly that.

Washington Post Publishes 5,500 Word Front Page Sports Story on ‘Obama’s Basketball Love Affair’:With the Washington Post’s lips so tightly connected to Barry’s bum it is a wonder he didn’t give them a worm too. Only this time not one of the computer variety.

Man Claims His Genitals Were Burned By Urinal In Arby’s: In other news Arby’s will be featuring Jerry Lee Lewis in a hot new ad campaign.

One Man’s Case For Regulating Hate Speech: Speech Nazi wants to use Nazi tactics to stop Illinois Nazis that marched sometime back in the 70’s. Looks like someone’s bucking for a lifetime membership to one of our favorite clubs: Friends Against Speech Crime In Society Today . . . or FASCIST . . . as it is more affectionately known.

Weeping Anti-Walker Protester: ‘Democracy Died Tonight’: Don’t you just hate it when the will of the voters gets in the way of democracy?

RIP Ray Bradbury. Many of you, no doubt, cut your teeth on the writing of Ray Bradbury. The man had a knack for stories and more importantly a knack for writing them. He also penned a classic of the dystopian genre -Fahrenheit 451- that the Proglodytes seriously misunderstood and took as societal blueprint instead of a warning. Note to Heaven: Someone witty this way comes.

http://youtu.be/YlYAhSffEDM