Federal rules prohibit misuse of facial tissue

Federal rules prohibit use of facial tissue for any purpose other than the name suggests! Let’s look at the bright side here. Strict enforcement of this federal directive could seriously reduce incidents of blindness in young males.

Kip Hooker:

View Comments (15)

  • Time for Wonko the Sane to build the Asylum...*

    *Douglas Adams/Hithchiker's Guide/bye-bye dolphins reference.

  • I am gonna tear the tag off my mattress, and use facial tissue for other than it was intended...I can't wait for the feds to show up.....I am now a tissue terrorist....I bet I can no longer fly, or buy explosives......How dumb can we get?

  • So now we'll be hearing about people going on the lam because they are Federal Face Tissue Terrorists. I need a new ID with a passport.

  • Another prime example of your tax dollars at work. Next the Odumbo Administration will want a couple of billion to fund the Department of Facial Tissue Abuse.

    • I'm sure a government attorney was paid quite a bit to come up with the wording for the warning, the required placement and size of the warning, and any kind of punishment that the company might have suffered had they not printed the warning on the label. All this just so we could ignore and/or make fun of them.

  • Nobody has called toilet paper "facial tissue" in years, it's advertised for what it is. This is just another example of some little gooberment jerk-off making up stupid rules because he has nothing better to do with his time.

    Or her time, which means she is pissed off because when she can find someone to bed down with he has already taken care of business.

    • Facial tissue refers to Puffs, Kleenex, and other such brands. BATHROOM tissue is polite for toilet paper. And according to the rest of that warning/ingredient list, that is not just facial tissue. It is impregnated with anti viral material, Hence, if nothing else, you are wasting money using it for mmmm other uses not related to the common cold, flu, etc.

  • So it's federal offense to use said tissue to clean up after a lonely night? I'd love to see them try to enforce that.