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• Yo! Bonfire, I hear you're loaning out money. what's your interest charge? I hope it's not usurious.

• I hear they make great targets for sighting in your brand new scope on. Let the fire sale begin, somebody needs to pay back the money they borrowed from the BOA.

• Bill Clinton is in charge of the ladies underwear department, and all ladies underwear will be half off..plenty of free parking up one isle and down the other, open weeknights till 9 for your shopping convenience...

• Like new - hardly used! One US Constitution! Numbers are limited so ACT NOW! Operators are standing by - if you call before November 6 we'll throw in - ABSOLUTELY FREE*- 16 trillion dollars in debt. Call Now! The more you spend, the more you save!

  *By that we mean you only have to indenture your grandchildren for a few decades.

• Or they might be handy to put in the dog kennel and cat box.

• When T's are 3 cents with free shipping, I'm ordering 200. They'll make great shop rags.