Jay Carney resigns. He says it was because of strain on his family life but more likely he was forced to resign by an ancient mathematical principle: as the number of lies increases, the likelihood that two of them will contradict each other increases exponentially.
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Is that a knife handle I see?
http://satireworld.com/politics-2/201406010554/door-hits-jay-carney-55-times-on-the-way-out/
Now THAT was funny!
Looks like a grouping of hemorrhoids to me.
What's obama to do. every circus act needs a carney
http://suckersonparade.blogspot.com/2014/05/breaking-news-rev-al-sharpton-to-be.html#.U4lF0XJdV8E
The English language we must resist and much we will.
Yoda? Is that you?
There is no way Al Sharpton could be mistaken for Yoda.
No, Al probably ate Yoda.
Al isn't fat anymore. I don't know what happened. He went from being a round mound during the Tawana Brawley fable to the current skinny little body with big head. It's almost like the extra fat on his body was shoved up into his head.
That or he's on the one diet than never fails: the cocaine diet.
And Nurta-Sweet 5 meals a week haven't offered a deal yet? On the skinny?
That is good! You guys see, over at WFB, volume 2 of his greatest misses with the English language?
BWAHAHAHA!!!
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/kenya-authorities-release-barack-obamas-real-birth-certificate/
Carney looked like he was about to break down sobbing. He's gonna miss his daily knobber from King Barky.
How come nobody mentioned this?
http://twitchy.com/2014/05/31/explosive-watch-president-obama-blow-jay-carney-a-goodbye-kiss-video/
*Do Not Read*
[now I was gonna leave off the last 4 words and blame it on the NSA or something. But I didn't. I warned you]
It was awkward...
At least he didn't give him tongue!
On camera
Gross!
Holy shit!!!! I cannot pretend I didn't see that.
I just hope I can erase that image before I fall asleep, or I may never sleep again!
My homophobia is raging and I don't give a damn.
Carney looks disgusted.
Not surprised.
WTF!? Is that real or video editing? I hope it's not real, because what kind of man purses his lips at another man during a hug?
...
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Caption:
"This is a big fucking deal."
The lies just got to be too much for the carnival barker.
So we are replacing a carney with someone who will earnestly josh us.
Every once in awhile Obama will accidently tell the truth. Today, King Barky the Liar said "Jay has been with me since the beginning." For those first few years of incompetence Sir Surly of Gibbs was the WH propagandist and Shorty of Carney was at TIME magazine. So yes, Jay has been packing Obama's ass with flowers since he began.
Good catch.