BREAKING NEWS: President Fears Chinese Might Beat America to the Sun. With a dire prediction for the future of American business and industry the President warned -on 04/01/14- that we had better act now or risk losing the sun to the Chinese. “The Chinese have already cornered 60 percent of the solar market. That leaved less than 25 percent of the sun remaining for Americans to use. We’d better kick it up a notch before there is nothing left.” The president continued with one of his famous teachable moments “For those of you that didn’t pay attention in science class the sun is very important. It is a giant ball of burning fire hundreds of miles away. When it revolves around the earth it creates what we know as day and night. The sun is very useful for lots of stuff on earth. For example a process known as photosyphilis makes it possible for plants and animals to grow. That is why we must beat the Chinese to the sun. We must land a man on the sun and return him safely before the decade is out … the fate of the American farmer depends on it.” The President’s comments have been met with some skepticism since their introduction, but only from the usual assortment of racists, haters and flat earther types.
This post was last modified on March 31, 2014
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The scary part is Obama is dumb enough to say shit like this....and Believe it....
Heck, he'd sell China the tech to help them get there first because it just isn't fair for us to do it without leveling the playing field first.
But didn't the msm say obama was the brightest thing in solar system
T minus 30 before launch. All shields down all systems are ready for failure, now just waiting on the sunnot to be tied into his seat and launch him into the suns orbit. quagmire will be attempting to deliver his speech during his launch. The prompter was deemed to be to heavy a cargo. Therefore, the speech will be off the cuff. Reggie sends his best
No wonder he wants to keep his college transcripts sealed. This is probably his science dissertation.
I am 100% for beating everyone else to the sun, I believe the president has a moral and leaders responsible to lead by example and leave for the sun as soon as possible (before the weekend) "just got to love his math, less than 25%- must have been schooled with common core"
Very nice. My posts are vanishing. So I apologize in advance when two funny (and very similar posts) reappear.
But this one posts right away!?
Screw it! In the event the two earlier posts are gone forever. I linked to two stories about how the North Koreans have already sent a 17 year old astronaut to the sun. Don't worry, he traveled at night so as not to be engulfed in the sun's rays.
http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/archive/Humans/Laughing-sounds/Dude-Hysterical-Laughing/65974
LOL!
0dumbo said that we would probably have to land on the Sun at night because it would be cooler then and dark out.
Even if this wasn't satire, and we somehow managed to beat the Chinese, Quagmire would just turn around and give it away to the UN anyway.
Great piece of satire....Um, okay. Normally, I would not have to ask, but we ARE talking about Obummer here, soooooooooo...it was satire, right?
Thanks, yes so far as I know this is not true!