Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.
View Comments (18)
Actually, I heard about this on the radio, they said it was OK for the women to tell their men they were overweight, but the men needed to get someone else to tell their women.
Gee, I wonder how long it took them to figure that one out?
I dunno, I suppose that the researchers that developed these lists may have written something down just before they died:
Just think. 32 men died horribly (and deservedly) to bring you these lists...
I remember losing 250 lbs of ugly fat. I just told her the marriage wasn't working out anymore, and in a few months, I had lost all that weight. I've never felt better.
On a more serious note, there *is* one good way to tell someone about their weight. Don't tell them about their weight. Ask them how they are feeling, and ask them if they are possibly overeating, as it is a sign of depression, and you really are genuinely worried about their mental well-being. People respond a lot better to people that give a damn about them than they do to someone who just wants to remind them of what they already know.
So far as weight loss goes, I lost 10 lbs in a week. I gave up salt.
Good for you! Even if that WAS all water weight! Its an incentive!
It got me started, anyway. Just got to lose another 50 lbs.
You can do it! I'll be pulling for you!
I'm now on a mission to lose the holiday weight!
So - who wants to kick in on a pair of sweat pants with a "Wide Load" sign on the butt for the First Lady?
Right after you tell them that make fun of their religion and politics and then tell them their kids are morons. I Guarantee you will be on a future episode of "COPS".....sitting on the front lawn with a ripped t-shirt, bloody nose, one shoe missing telling the officer, "I don't know what the hell happened, she just went crazy on me and whopped my ass"...Meanwhile the offended large woman in the background with handcuffs on is yelling at the camera that she is gonna take out your whole family by sitting on their heads when she gets out of jail and sobers up... and your Christmas tree and several dozen beer cans are laying on the front lawn, along with a broken blinking snowman, and Santa is sticking headfirst in a snowbank. Yea I can't see anything wrong with a "health expert" telling a relative they are fat at a holiday gathering.
You know how many family fights the police respond to on holidays? A LOT. To misquote one of my favorite holiday songs, "These are not the most wonderful times of the year for some".
OMG! You get the best thumbs up for this one. I would 'cowardly' observe the bovines engorging themselves while everyone would wonder why I have that smirk on my face. Just knowing while the bovines go back for the third time to the buffet table that they have that seed planted in thier minds that they are human food disposals and will kill if anyone denies them thier 'relaxant' medicine on a plate. I stay SOBER at these gatherings simply because I know someone is going to get crazy and I don't want to be a victim. These gatherings make for an exellent chapter in a book.
I prefer to send the fatties who will attend the Christmas dinner an anonomous card telling them to slow down on the gorging, eat less, exercise, and respect thier body's more. Then wait and watch what happens at the dinner.
Sure you would prefer that, thats the cowardly way of doing things. if you have the balls to send a card why hide? say it to their face or STFU!.
Coldwar--bite my nuts. Evidently your relatives think the same thing of you.
"Are you drinking that skim eggnog because you think you're fat?" paraphrasing Napoleon Dynamite.
Overweight people know they're overweight.
And are not interested in being told that AGAIN!
Bad idea...very bad idea.
"No, the perfect time is actually right after the divorce proceedings".....while wearing a bulletproof vest.
View Comments (18)
Actually, I heard about this on the radio, they said it was OK for the women to tell their men they were overweight, but the men needed to get someone else to tell their women.
Gee, I wonder how long it took them to figure that one out?
I dunno, I suppose that the researchers that developed these lists may have written something down just before they died:
http://www.topfive.com/arcs/t5121197.shtml
http://www.topfive.com/arcs/t5121297.shtml
Just think. 32 men died horribly (and deservedly) to bring you these lists...
I remember losing 250 lbs of ugly fat. I just told her the marriage wasn't working out anymore, and in a few months, I had lost all that weight. I've never felt better.
On a more serious note, there *is* one good way to tell someone about their weight. Don't tell them about their weight. Ask them how they are feeling, and ask them if they are possibly overeating, as it is a sign of depression, and you really are genuinely worried about their mental well-being. People respond a lot better to people that give a damn about them than they do to someone who just wants to remind them of what they already know.
So far as weight loss goes, I lost 10 lbs in a week. I gave up salt.
Good for you! Even if that WAS all water weight! Its an incentive!
It got me started, anyway. Just got to lose another 50 lbs.
You can do it! I'll be pulling for you!
I'm now on a mission to lose the holiday weight!
So - who wants to kick in on a pair of sweat pants with a "Wide Load" sign on the butt for the First Lady?
Right after you tell them that make fun of their religion and politics and then tell them their kids are morons. I Guarantee you will be on a future episode of "COPS".....sitting on the front lawn with a ripped t-shirt, bloody nose, one shoe missing telling the officer, "I don't know what the hell happened, she just went crazy on me and whopped my ass"...Meanwhile the offended large woman in the background with handcuffs on is yelling at the camera that she is gonna take out your whole family by sitting on their heads when she gets out of jail and sobers up... and your Christmas tree and several dozen beer cans are laying on the front lawn, along with a broken blinking snowman, and Santa is sticking headfirst in a snowbank. Yea I can't see anything wrong with a "health expert" telling a relative they are fat at a holiday gathering.
You know how many family fights the police respond to on holidays? A LOT. To misquote one of my favorite holiday songs, "These are not the most wonderful times of the year for some".
OMG! You get the best thumbs up for this one. I would 'cowardly' observe the bovines engorging themselves while everyone would wonder why I have that smirk on my face. Just knowing while the bovines go back for the third time to the buffet table that they have that seed planted in thier minds that they are human food disposals and will kill if anyone denies them thier 'relaxant' medicine on a plate. I stay SOBER at these gatherings simply because I know someone is going to get crazy and I don't want to be a victim. These gatherings make for an exellent chapter in a book.
I prefer to send the fatties who will attend the Christmas dinner an anonomous card telling them to slow down on the gorging, eat less, exercise, and respect thier body's more. Then wait and watch what happens at the dinner.
Sure you would prefer that, thats the cowardly way of doing things. if you have the balls to send a card why hide? say it to their face or STFU!.
Coldwar--bite my nuts. Evidently your relatives think the same thing of you.
"Are you drinking that skim eggnog because you think you're fat?" paraphrasing Napoleon Dynamite.
Overweight people know they're overweight.
And are not interested in being told that AGAIN!
Bad idea...very bad idea.
"No, the perfect time is actually right after the divorce proceedings".....while wearing a bulletproof vest.