Three ICBM bases in three different states… one wrench. That’s how badly the U.S. nuclear arsenal has been neglected. These government nimrods FedExed the wrench back and forth so they could adjust the nuclear missiles.
This post was last modified on January 26, 2021
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Q: So what happened after the President ordered full-scale retaliation?
R: Only a single missile was launched, it was the only functional ICBM left, it had been secretly bought from the DPRK just for that reason.
Q: What did it do?
R: After 3 seconds it spun around, thankfully it didn't crash because it exploded before hitting the base.
Q: What was the problem?
R: The targeting related programs had been replaced with rap music MP3s.
Who has money for wrenches? Globull warming is this country's most pressing problem, it's killing off all the unicorns.
MY unicorn is just fine with the weather, thank you. Here he is being ridden by a Mermaid.
http://www.theflashingscotsman.com/Events/Myth-Masque-2014/41064109_RgrwSW#!i=3272317796&k=XRKsjNr&lb=1&s=XL
A mermaid on a unicorn.....I gotta stop using meth....
It gets stranger from there.
And the Desert Tortoise is being killed off by grazing cattle. :roll:
OMG is it any wonder Putin treats president putter as a weakling. It's time to render him impotent and run out the clock on his worthless presidency
For starters . . . it was a whole kit, not a single wrench, and apparently was a a custom set just for working on the warheads, I guess its not something you could go down and pick up a spare at Lowe's. Wonder how big it was? I dunno about warheads, but I saw some dam big wrenches in the engine rooms of cargo ships! I mean that would be placed with a crane and moved with a winch. In any case, the happy ending is that all 3 bases have their own toolkits now.
Okay PD, I can understand that.
I once spent a long, wet, cold night in Texas on a work crew raising a ships rudder. The wrench must have weighed a thousand pounds, it took a chain hoist to move it, and turn it.
For every turn of the screw it raised the rudder 1/8 inch. The rudder dropped 5 feet, so that's how much it had to be raised.
We were on a friggen raft, in a rainstorm, in October, trying to raise that damn rudder. It was a rent-a-bum job, and I never went back, but I always wondered how that worked out.
Oh, the ship was registered in India if memory serves. Wont swear to that though, as it has been more than a few years.
Funny, of all the rent-a-bum work I did over the years, that one sticks in my mind.
You think they were FedExing a wrench so big it needs a crane to move it? I think whatever size they needed, and whatever shape they needed it to be, if they were in a private business they would have the damn thing made at the nearest machine shop within a day.
I dunno. The private sector can get pretty retarded. Recently I needed a new printer for my home office. I could have gone to Office Depot picked up one that would meet my needs for $75.00. Instead, IT insisted on sending me one. So they spent the same $75 - probably more - then another who knows how much to overnight it to me.
It's bureaucracy that kills enterprise. If you work for a private company that's large enough to be stifled by bureaucracy, you'll run into the same sort of problems but NEVER on the scale of what exists in the federal government. I spent time at both General Motors and the federal government and, while GM was frustrating and stupid, it paled in comparison to the frustration and stupidity of the feds. My favorite story is about being told to get rid of an old shotgun my agency didn't need anymore. After six months of trying to meet bureaucratic requirements, I gave up. I'm sure that shotgun is still sitting there in that gun safe today, gathering dust.
Yeah, my first private sector job after the army was GM - Pontiac. Not many differences in lots of ways. Bureaucracy is bureaucracy and many big companies can barely move under their own weight just like the public sector.
Talk about private sector stupidity, I work for an airline and we return components, tires and brakes to overhaul via Fedex. Yep, those tires and brakes go in the 300lb+ range. We pay a freight forwarding company to send catering supplies to our caterers in Europe. They use our airplanes to ship this cargo!
Let me get this straight: your airline pays another business to send itself supplies and the other business sends the supplies on your airline? For God's sake, man, doesn't your employer have a suggestion box? You could earn yourself a big bonus for suggesting something better.
At GM I had to work from 4 in the afternoon until 4 in the morning, and the last hour was spent updating the plant's performance stats on an Excel spreadsheet. Now, it just so happens that I took math courses in college for fun and easy credit and know Excel like the back of my hand, so this spreadsheet, which was designed at company headquarters (by some moron) interested me. Instead of simply inputting numbers like everybody else, I examined the formulas in the spreadsheet and quickly realized the damn thing averaged averages, which is a mathematical no-no. You can't do that. It produces mathematically meaningless results and that's what they were using to judge plant performance! But do you think I could convince anybody that it was wrong? It was like talking to a bunch of rocks. "That's the performance sheet and it comes from Detroit," was the answer from everybody. Drove me frickin' crazy having to update that idiotic spreadsheet every day.
That's classic and would only make sense to the accounting department.
For gods sake, does the military no longer have a machinist capable of crafting a spanner wrench?
They can't afford 2 wrenches what makes you think they have power tools?
No.
It's a government thing. Government Motors doesn't have a single engineer on it's staff that can design a proper ignition switch.
This is gut-wrenching.
Military preparedness is totally screwed up.
If I was in the military I'd bolt.
I'm torqued just reading this strange twist in our military preparedness.
We need to spring into action, stat!
This thread is left handed.
It probably should be pitched.
Aw nuts. I totally missed this thread.
It's awl right, go ahead and join in.
Socket up JP! There are worse vises to have...
They're gripping.
I love puns. Puns are my only vise.
Your comment was cutting edge.
I saw what you did there!
This is a miter good pun thread.
Careful people will think you're a wingnut.
I would like to join up with this discussion, but I have to bolt, I wrenched my ankle.
Naw, that'd be unscrewpulous of me.
Might as well, The wife is hammered on red wine right now. I should really go try and scre...
Wrench, who needs wrenches? We have the LGBT agenda and Mosselimb outreach, and all the other "programs" that are much more important...Send the Ammo to DHS, no need for the military to practice, Send out more free Obamaphones, no need for veterans care.
Obutthole treats the citizens like shit, but treats the military worse, and he has bandaid face Hagel leading the charge in reverse...NO wonder , what was it about 80 percent of the military hate Obutthole?
Maybe if the military stopped spending money trying to get women to dress like men (trying to get rid of female dress blues and make lower enlisted wear men's dress blues. Women look ridiculous!), and bio fuel... Maybe we could afford the $15 for more wrenches!
If they bought 2 more wrenches, they would save thousands in Fed-Ex charges annually. But then, for all of us that served in the military, we know that the simplest and least expensive solution is always the wrong one, according to the top brass.
I like to relate one incident that I encountered. I had ordered a set of new gaskets to rebuild a high pressure pump that I used to calibrate pressure gauges. When they arrived, and I opened the box they came in, and removed the packing, the box was empty. A couple of hundred dollars of specialty gaskets that were paid for from our annual budget, never came, but we still paid for them. My supervisor's solution, don't file a complaint, just order another set of gaskets, because the time and paperwork involved would cost more than the new gaskets.
It is a good thing that they FedExed it as the USPS is in worse shape than our missiles.
Of course they would use Fred EX.